:rotfl: Nice!

 

Whats worse than hearing, "Is it in yet?"

Having to say, "yeah"

 

A man was in a long line at the grocery store.

As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so
he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the
register.

She asked, "What size condoms?"
The customer replied that he didn't know.
She asked him to drop his pants.

He did, she reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over
the intercom, "One box of large condoms, Register 5."

The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most men,
was up for a cheap thrill.

When he got to the register, he told the checker that he too had forgotten
to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the register
for him.

She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know.
She asked him to drop his pants.
He did, she gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said,
"One box of medium-sized condoms, Register 5."

A few customers back was this teenage boy.

He thought what he had seen was way too cool.
He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he
thought this was his chance.

When he got to the register he told the checker he needed some condoms.
She asked him what size and he said he didn't know.
She asked him to drop his pants and he did.
She reached over the counter, gave him one quick squeeze, then picked up
the intercom and said,

"Cleanup, register 5!"

 

Matt,

Were you the teenage boy?

 

I was the first guy. I thing RussA was the youngin in the back.

 

best 3 seconds of my life t

 

Engineering jokes are fun.


Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said: "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints". Another said: No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said: "Actually it was a Civil Engineer. Who else would run toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

---

Arguing with an Engineer is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig: After a few hours, you realize the pig likes it

---

The graduate with a science degree asks: "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks: "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree aks: "How much does it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks: "Do you want fries with that?"

 

Nice

 

What did Hellen Keller say when she fell off a cliff?




Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

 

oh no!!! not hellen keller jokes!!!

 

*cues Ali G to come in with a list of Hellen Keller jokes

 

Alright, I'll post one.

Q: Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car?
A: Because she's a woman.

 

What's purple and goes slam slam slam slam?
A four door grape.


See what happens when everybody stops posting?
Jokes get worse as the night goes on!

 

Why were Helen Kellers hands purple?



She heard it through the grapevine.

 

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. "G! o ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.
When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation.

I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."