Joke thread!!!
05-20-2005, 12:27 PM
#302
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Originally Posted by Ali G
Reading him his Miranda rights, a female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving.
The female officer tells the man:
"Sir, you have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be held against you."
The drunk replies:
"*****."
The female officer tells the man:
"Sir, you have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be held against you."
The drunk replies:
"*****."
05-20-2005, 12:57 PM
#307
Troll
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Pimpin' tards
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An old guy approaches the window of the movie theatre with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him.
He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!"
"I'm sorry," The girl tells him. "We can't allow animals in the theater."
The guy goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his pants. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the theater, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his pants so the chicken can stick it's head out and watch the movie.
Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Myrtle and whispers, "Myrtle, this man over here has just unzipped his pants!"
Myrtle whispers back, "Oh, don't worry about it...you've seen one, you've seen them all."
Agnes says, "I know...but this one's eating my popcorn!"
He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!"
"I'm sorry," The girl tells him. "We can't allow animals in the theater."
The guy goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his pants. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the theater, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his pants so the chicken can stick it's head out and watch the movie.
Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Myrtle and whispers, "Myrtle, this man over here has just unzipped his pants!"
Myrtle whispers back, "Oh, don't worry about it...you've seen one, you've seen them all."
Agnes says, "I know...but this one's eating my popcorn!"
05-20-2005, 01:48 PM
#308
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Originally Posted by Ali G
An old guy approaches the window of the movie theatre with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him.
He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!"
"I'm sorry," The girl tells him. "We can't allow animals in the theater."
The guy goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his pants. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the theater, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his pants so the chicken can stick it's head out and watch the movie.
Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Myrtle and whispers, "Myrtle, this man over here has just unzipped his pants!"
Myrtle whispers back, "Oh, don't worry about it...you've seen one, you've seen them all."
Agnes says, "I know...but this one's eating my popcorn!"
He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!"
"I'm sorry," The girl tells him. "We can't allow animals in the theater."
The guy goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his pants. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the theater, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his pants so the chicken can stick it's head out and watch the movie.
Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Myrtle and whispers, "Myrtle, this man over here has just unzipped his pants!"
Myrtle whispers back, "Oh, don't worry about it...you've seen one, you've seen them all."
Agnes says, "I know...but this one's eating my popcorn!"
:rotfl:
05-20-2005, 04:22 PM
#309
Ali, I got some for you.
What's the difference btwn a mexican and a trampoline?
--You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
What is the diff. btwn a large pizza and a black man?
--A pizza can feed a family of four.
What is the diff, btwn a Cadillac and pile of dead babies?
--I don't have a caddy in my garage.
An asian, a mexican, and a black guy are all riding in a car, who's driving?
--The Cop.
Why do black ppl wear flat brimmed hats?
--To keep the pigions from $hitting on their lips.
Why does asprin have cotton btwn the cap and the pills?
--To remind black ppl what they did before they started taking drugs.
That's all I can think of right now.
What's the difference btwn a mexican and a trampoline?
--You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
What is the diff. btwn a large pizza and a black man?
--A pizza can feed a family of four.
What is the diff, btwn a Cadillac and pile of dead babies?
--I don't have a caddy in my garage.
An asian, a mexican, and a black guy are all riding in a car, who's driving?
--The Cop.
Why do black ppl wear flat brimmed hats?
--To keep the pigions from $hitting on their lips.
Why does asprin have cotton btwn the cap and the pills?
--To remind black ppl what they did before they started taking drugs.
That's all I can think of right now.
Last edited by jvick125; 05-20-2005 at 04:26 PM.
05-20-2005, 04:27 PM
#310
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Originally Posted by jvick125
Ali, I got some for you.
What's the difference btwn a mexican and a trampoline?
--You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
What is the diff. btwn a large pizza and a black man?
--A pizza can feed a family of four.
What is the diff, btwn a Cadillac and pile of dead babies?
--I don't have a caddy in my garage.
An asian, a mexican, and a black guy are all riding in a car, who's driving?
--The Cop.
Why do black ppl wear flat brimmed hats?
--To keep the pigions from $hitting on their lips.
Why does asprin have cotton btwn the cap and the pills?
--To remind black ppl what they did before they started taking drugs.
That's all I can think of right now.
What's the difference btwn a mexican and a trampoline?
--You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
What is the diff. btwn a large pizza and a black man?
--A pizza can feed a family of four.
What is the diff, btwn a Cadillac and pile of dead babies?
--I don't have a caddy in my garage.
An asian, a mexican, and a black guy are all riding in a car, who's driving?
--The Cop.
Why do black ppl wear flat brimmed hats?
--To keep the pigions from $hitting on their lips.
Why does asprin have cotton btwn the cap and the pills?
--To remind black ppl what they did before they started taking drugs.
That's all I can think of right now.
05-20-2005, 07:20 PM
#311
Father Time
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Originally Posted by topnotchwrx
Are you racist or you just don't like anything other than white people?
05-21-2005, 12:00 AM
#314
Originally Posted by R4ND0M_AX3
know one cares if you hate white people. He's just pushing peoples buttons. "Oh no he di-int!!"
Lol,
I personally am not racist, but there are some stereotypes that are too constantly proven. There have been other black and mexican jokes in the thread already. I was just sharing mine.