Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."

 

Nice... but no need for the card. You didn't post "Haha!" or "+1."

 

Yeah but that joke kinda sucked compared to some of the others I have posted. I played the card because I did not consider this joke to be a significant contribution to the thread...

 

Good show on the card though.

 

heard this one on Stern this morning...

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. You already told her twice.

 

No only is that joke the oldest joke EVAR... I think it's even been posted in this thread already!

/me reserves the right to change his **** talking if said joke does not exist in this thread.

 

I know, and I'm not sure, but I don't care.

 

 

Beto and Maria were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital
swimming pool, Beto suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Maria promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the
bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Director of
Nursing became aware of Maria's heroic act, she
immediately ordered her to be discharged
from the hospital, as she now considered her to be
mentally stable.

When she went to tell Maria the news she said, "Maria,
I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're
being discharged; since you were able to rationally
respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life
of another patient, I have concluded that your act
displays sound-mindedness. The bad news is that Beto,
the patient you saved, hung himself in his bathroom
with the belt to his robe right after you saved him I
am so sorry, but he's dead."

Maria replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there
to dry. How soon can I go home?"

 

whats black and blue all over and hates sex....

the 6 year old boy in my trunk

 

michael jackson was chillen on the beach one day when a lady walked up to him and siad

"michael, your in my son"

 

what does wal-mart and michael jackson have in common?

they both have kids pants half off

 

a bl0nde girl, a brunette, and a red head decide to rob a bank, and soon hear some sirons coming...
so they all go run and hide in the back of a truck in the allie behind the bank.
when the police come in to the bank they ask where teh robbers went and the bank employee said they wen tin the back.. so then the cops head out back and they hear some movement in three potatoe sacks inj the back of a truck...
they decide to kick the first one (red head), **meow** it was just a cat
then they kick the second one (brunette), **ruff ruff** it was just a dog, finally they kick the last potatoe sack with the blonde in it and the blonde says "POTATOE!!! POTATOE!!! POTATOE!!!"

 

wrxfinatik, I thought we already have a place for crappy jokes...that last one wasn't too bad though.

 

Little Billy just met his first girl friend and wants to practice "safe sex" by buying many condoms. The only problem is, all he has is a dollar. He visits the local drugstore.

Little Billy: Mr. Pharmacist how much are the condoms?

Pharmacist: .50 cents a piece Billy.

Little Billy: Good, I'll take two

Pharmacist: That will be $1.07

Little Billy: What's the .07 for?

Pharmacist: Tax

Little Billy: TACKS!!! You mean they don't stay on by themselves !?!?!