Joke thread!!!
01-26-2005, 12:43 PM
#18
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Originally Posted by Ali G
Why do they call it PMS?
Because mad cow disease was already taken
Because mad cow disease was already taken
01-26-2005, 12:52 PM
#21
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Originally Posted by Paperchasin
What do women and tornados have in common???
They both make a lot of noise when they *** and take everything when they leave!!
They both make a lot of noise when they *** and take everything when they leave!!
01-26-2005, 12:53 PM
#22
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Originally Posted by Paperchasin
What do women and tornados have in common???
They both make a lot of noise when they *** and take everything when they leave!!
They both make a lot of noise when they *** and take everything when they leave!!
01-26-2005, 12:54 PM
#23
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Big Gay Ed goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.
The doctor comes back and says "Ed, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS."
Ed is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"
"Eat 1 sausage,1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."
Ed asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"
Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your *** is for."
The doctor comes back and says "Ed, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS."
Ed is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"
"Eat 1 sausage,1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."
Ed asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"
Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your *** is for."
01-26-2005, 12:58 PM
#25
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Some six year old school kids come in from lunch. The teacher asks Alice,"What did you do at lunch time?" Alice says, "I played in the sand box." The teacher says,"that's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." She does and gets a cookie.
The teacher asks Billy what he did at lunch. Billy say,"I played with Alice in the sand box." The teacher says, "Good, If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a frsh baked cookie." He does and he gets a cookie.
The teacher then asks Mustaffa Machmoud what he did at recess. He says,"I tried to play with Alice and Billy, but they threw rocks at me." The teacher says,"Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go to the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a fresh baked cookie.
The teacher asks Billy what he did at lunch. Billy say,"I played with Alice in the sand box." The teacher says, "Good, If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a frsh baked cookie." He does and he gets a cookie.
The teacher then asks Mustaffa Machmoud what he did at recess. He says,"I tried to play with Alice and Billy, but they threw rocks at me." The teacher says,"Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go to the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a fresh baked cookie.
01-26-2005, 01:00 PM
#26
The governemt is conducting a test to see which branch is the best at apprehending criminals. They gather the fbi, the cia, and the lapd. They release a marked rabbit into the woods and tell the fbi to go catch it. Two months later the fbi makes a statement saying that they have no proof and no knowledge of the rabbits existance. Next the CIA is sent into the woods and they come back two weeks later, burning the whole forest down on the way out, including the rabbit. Finally, the lapd is sent into the woods and they come back two hours later with a badly beaten bear screaming, "alright I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit"
01-26-2005, 01:05 PM
#29
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Mrs. Smith's class is studying vocabulary one day. Little Johnny raises his hand and tells the teacher, "I have to ****."
The teacher replies with, "we say urinate, not ****." Thinking this would be a good opporutnity for Johnny to learn, she says "since we are studying vocabulary, can you use that word in a sentance Johnny?"
Johnny replies, "Mrs. Smith, urinate, but if you had bigger **** you'd be a ten!"
The teacher replies with, "we say urinate, not ****." Thinking this would be a good opporutnity for Johnny to learn, she says "since we are studying vocabulary, can you use that word in a sentance Johnny?"
Johnny replies, "Mrs. Smith, urinate, but if you had bigger **** you'd be a ten!"
01-26-2005, 01:06 PM
#30
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Originally Posted by Ali G
I agree, when I first heard it I thought it was funnier than a retard on fire...
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