Or drink coffee.... always works for me

 

Coffee will just dehydrate you, to make truly healthy huger turds, you need to clean the fecal deposits off yhe inner walls of your digestive tract.

 

I wish you had a signature I could modify. :rotfl:

 

I dropped a LOG today. I had to "hunker down" AND "power through". Normally I would only have to do one or the other, but today was brutal. It also had an overwhelming "meat poo" stench.

The toilet actually shook when I flushed.

I feel empty.

 

No screenplay for the movie version this time?

 

That was my attempt at the "indie student film" scripting style.

 

no sweats or shivers?

 

No sweating, but there might have been a shiver at the end.

 

Today, I was running early and I mistakenly thought it might be a good idea to swing by McD's for breakfast. I was craving a McGriddle sandwich because of a billboard I saw.

So I get a McGriddle, a hashbrown, and McD's new "good" coffee.

Driving to work, I busted into the sandwich. Before I had finished it, my stomach was protesting... loudly. I figured it was just regular morning grumblings. Just a little rumbling because I don't usually eat breakfast. Sandwich done, I moved onto the hashbrown. Mmm... McD's best product IMHO; the yumminess that is grease wrapped in potatoe's clothing.

More rumbling... and a little ping in the corner of my bowels.

Hmm... maybe it's the grease... I'll just wash it down with this fine cup of joe.

gurgleblubgurglegrumblegluggluggluggloblgraplpoplg rob...

uhoh.

I barely made it to work.

It doesn't help that I have to park 2 blocks from work... further more, I work on the second floor...

I ran into the bathroom and had to flex my glutes to keep my scphincter from popping while I got the bowl gasket in place.

I am convinced the poo started flying even before my *** hit the porcelin. It was like the lakes of hell pouring from my inerts. It was like a deepfried enima. It was like nitroglycerin in the hands of an epileptic. It was like setting a bag of cats on fire.

I have never been so ruined before in my life. It was worse than soggy's Kentucky Fried ***.

It's not funny, my *** is on fire.

 

It's not the Mickey D's, it's whatever you had last night. And you deserve such fate simply for the existence of this thread.

 

Ya grease filled food cooked by mexicans could NEVER cause your stomach to mess up, if anything it coats it in grease so your previous food just sorta slips out faster... I agree with SUVS on this one

 

No, it's actually just not possible for you to get diarhea from food you haven't even finished eating yet. It would make you vomit if it was bad going down.

 

you must not know the power of mc donalds...

 

I have a theory... bear with me here.

I think theres a special intestine for mcdonalds, as soon as your body detects incoming mcd's it opens a special valve in your stomach that leads to a 6" straight pipe that connects directly to your *******.... its a gastric cutout of sorts to prevent excessive backpressure

 

Mine must not be working then. Guess my **** aint catless.