UberMaus

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHA


omg its zack wtf: my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

UberMaus

Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable

UberMaus

<Quake-Hat> brad, your mom is fine as ****
<Quake-Hat> i think i will ********** to her while i play with my *****
<bad_brad> brad had to go blow his nose, but thanks for the compliment, i will be calling your mother
<Quake-Hat> Jesus-***ing christ!!!

UberMaus

WallJam7: roses are red
WallJam7: violets are blue
WallJam7: all of my base
WallJam7: are belong to you

UberMaus

<factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who doesn't **********, even while he's single."
<factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, ****

UberMaus

<@AntiHeiss> friend of mine went to jail last night
<@AntiHeiss> he probably isn't getting out for a while
<%The_Coolest> y?
<+Enyo> why?
<%The_Coolest>
<@AntiHeiss> it was a girl cop, she was pretty cute too
<@AntiHeiss> she said anything you say can and will be held against you....he sat there for a while and said '****'

theheckwithyou

<+emul8or_>
<+kritical`> damn look at them linux people
<+kritical`> are they ever gonna get a woman???
<+emul8or_> maybe if they pool their money

theheckwithyou

<SirCourage> So anyways, I knew at 1:30 am this morning that my english paper would not be finished, so I opened up mirc.exe in notepad, saved it as a .txt, emailed it to my school email and told them that their email server must have ruined my paper. I got an A-

theheckwithyou

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT ***
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

theheckwithyou

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

UberMaus

< Ammon > i rememeber that dare where i had to stick that tampon in my ***. it hurt for a minute but then i got aroused

UberMaus

<MepitansTAD> this kid we call Crosswalk Kramer tried to kill himself by walking into traffic
<MepitansTAD> but he walked in front of a truck going 15 mph and he was in a crosswalk
<MepitansTAD> the truck just stopped and asked him to move

UberMaus

HAHAHAHAHAHAAH

<theTrick> Canada volunteered 10 Battleships, 4 Jet Fighters, and 200 Soldiers to the U.S. anti-terrorism cause
after the exchange rate, that came up to 4 canoes, 2 flying squirrels and 3 canadian mounties

:canada:

UberMaus

<Bank6000> What is the best way to approach a person who you are attracted to at a book store, library, animal shelter or football game shown on TV at a bar?
<CrustyNutz> You can do it put your *** into it!
<TheBrat> uummm personally just don't say some cheesy pick up line..
<xTrinity Luvx> yeah just be yourself
<speedracer> Kick her in the shin.
<speedracer> She'll remember you next time.
<Evil_Couch> zap her with a ***ing tazer and then drag her back to your place
<Evil_Couch> by the time she wakes up, she'll be chained to your bed and she'll HAVE to love you or you'll cut her food ration in half.

UberMaus

<Mike_Works> There should be holes in massage tables so if you get an erection when you're getting a massage, you can just put it in the hole, so you don't have to stick your *** in the air.
<Mike_Works> There should also be midgets under the tables. Midgets who need the money.