theheckwithyou

<mooman> so i saw this number plate on some ricer car today... YAG-108
<mooman> except i saw it in my rear view mirror, so it looked like BOI-GAY
<mooman> i nearly hit the car in front from laughing so hard :/

theheckwithyou

<DN-Mark> touch and taste are basically the same
<Jude> Please... I dare you to go squeeze a donut in your fist until you can feel how sugary and sweet it is.

UberMaus

[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps
[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps
[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps
[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english?
[01:35] (hilo21) *** you
[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my azz, but can't read the road signs to get to my house?

UberMaus

<JFalcon> sex is too much work... and the customers always complain.

silentkry

iTrader: (1)

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

silentkry

iTrader: (1)

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

silentkry

iTrader: (1)

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh ****!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....

silentkry

iTrader: (1)

<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .

silentkry

iTrader: (1)

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can ****?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

silentkry

iTrader: (1)

<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> p****.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> p****.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> p****.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> p****.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard

silentkry

iTrader: (1)

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ***
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^

UberMaus

<outcaste> costume party tip #417 - If you forget to pick up a costume, just turn up in your underwear. If someone asks you what you've arrived as, just say "premature ejaculation - I came in my underwear".
<sara> oh god that's awful
<outcaste> yes, yes it is
<jimmie> what a great idea
ð jimmie/#hades makes notes
<outcaste> or...wear a condom on your nose, when people ask you what you are, just say "*** knows"

UberMaus

<freshbob> man, this banana is huge
<freshbob> i don't think bananas this big are natural
<freshbob> they must be genetically engineered or something
<manna> dude, it's not natural, but you have to give your *** a chance to relax

UberMaus

<gee-> i stole a 5 dollar pen from officemax and it didnt work
<homieC> your dad stole a 5 dollar condom from a 7-11 and it didnt work

UberMaus

<kethepoo> i remember the first time windows said "this program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down", and i was worried that they found out about the **** i had looked at