Uber's Bash Thread
04-17-2007, 11:18 AM
#46
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<Kris> ****! someone stole all my beer and drank it and left the empties all over my apartment!
<Kris> either that or I now know why I have a headache and no real memory of anything after 21:00
<Kris> either that or I now know why I have a headache and no real memory of anything after 21:00
04-17-2007, 11:20 AM
#47
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<dodgo> what the ****
<dodgo> school students demonstrating against copyright infringement?
<Count> mmm, it's like the poor demonstrating against food stamps and welfare
<dodgo> school students demonstrating against copyright infringement?
<Count> mmm, it's like the poor demonstrating against food stamps and welfare
04-17-2007, 11:23 AM
#48
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not bash but quite funny
After Great Britain's Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided it would be fun to hit a pub in London and go out for a beer.
The first sits down and says, "Hey, Seņor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."
The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The second says, "I'd like the best beer in the world. Give me 'The King of Beers.' One Budweiser please."
The bartender gives him one.
Another guy says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water; give me a Coors."
The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Guiness sits down as he orders a Coke. The bartender is a bit taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Guiness?"
The Guiness president replies, "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."
After Great Britain's Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided it would be fun to hit a pub in London and go out for a beer.
The first sits down and says, "Hey, Seņor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."
The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The second says, "I'd like the best beer in the world. Give me 'The King of Beers.' One Budweiser please."
The bartender gives him one.
Another guy says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water; give me a Coors."
The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Guiness sits down as he orders a Coke. The bartender is a bit taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Guiness?"
The Guiness president replies, "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."
05-01-2007, 05:00 PM
#54
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< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucing pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucing ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucing seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the *** out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucing pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucing ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucing seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the *** out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail
05-01-2007, 05:05 PM
#57
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The Fishchaser: we should tell the japaneese we found a planet full of giant tentacle monsters and their females are somehow little school girls
The Fishchaser: we'll be going faster than the speed of light in a week
The Fishchaser: we'll be going faster than the speed of light in a week
05-01-2007, 05:13 PM
#58
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<Chrysalid^Revenge> LOL! Worst mom evar!
<Sectoid^Authopsy> Coming from you, I'm tempted to ask if you got laid again... ^_^
<Chrysalid^Revenge> I'll smack your *** later for that, but anyways
<Chrysalid^Revenge> I was hanging out with a friend today, and he had BB-gun with a cracked barrel.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> So he decides to fix it with epoxy, getting it functional before the seaguls arrive
<Chrysalid^Revenge> And in a futile attempt to get the glue to harden faster, he puts the damn gun in his mouth and starts blowing down the barrel.
<Sectoid^Authopsy> I'm starting to sense where this is going...
<Chrysalid^Revenge> Now his mother walks in with some laundry, takes a look at her son with a damn good replica of a 9mm Beretta stuck in his mouth
<Chrysalid^Revenge> And her only words were "Try not to make a mess, and don't get anything stuck in your throat."
<Chrysalid^Revenge> What a lovely relationship those two must have...
<Sectoid^Authopsy> Coming from you, I'm tempted to ask if you got laid again... ^_^
<Chrysalid^Revenge> I'll smack your *** later for that, but anyways
<Chrysalid^Revenge> I was hanging out with a friend today, and he had BB-gun with a cracked barrel.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> So he decides to fix it with epoxy, getting it functional before the seaguls arrive
<Chrysalid^Revenge> And in a futile attempt to get the glue to harden faster, he puts the damn gun in his mouth and starts blowing down the barrel.
<Sectoid^Authopsy> I'm starting to sense where this is going...
<Chrysalid^Revenge> Now his mother walks in with some laundry, takes a look at her son with a damn good replica of a 9mm Beretta stuck in his mouth
<Chrysalid^Revenge> And her only words were "Try not to make a mess, and don't get anything stuck in your throat."
<Chrysalid^Revenge> What a lovely relationship those two must have...
05-01-2007, 05:13 PM
#59
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<THC|Rawk> I've literally got a -blind- date tonight.
<THC|Stone> ORLY? o_O
<THC|Rawk> It suits me fine for two reasons. First of all, I'll get to see if this "wonderful personality" crap I keep getting from girls actually is true.
<THC|Rawk> And if not, she'll never see what I slip into her drink
<THC|Stone> ORLY? o_O
<THC|Rawk> It suits me fine for two reasons. First of all, I'll get to see if this "wonderful personality" crap I keep getting from girls actually is true.
<THC|Rawk> And if not, she'll never see what I slip into her drink
05-01-2007, 05:17 PM
#60
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justsara: so, i started a new job today
justsara: one of my co-workers, feels like i've known him for years
a2so4: Where are you working now?
justsara: CSO
* sillyme has joined #random
sillyme: I had the strangest day at work.
sillyme: The new girl started today.
sillyme: Seems nice enough, but looks like a ***ed-out *****.
a2so4: You work for CSO, right?
sillyme: Yeah, why?
justsara: that was me, ashole
justsara: one of my co-workers, feels like i've known him for years
a2so4: Where are you working now?
justsara: CSO
* sillyme has joined #random
sillyme: I had the strangest day at work.
sillyme: The new girl started today.
sillyme: Seems nice enough, but looks like a ***ed-out *****.
a2so4: You work for CSO, right?
sillyme: Yeah, why?
justsara: that was me, ashole