Just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
plays well with others
iTrader: (1)
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,923
From: Sac
Car Info: your mother crazy
(443): So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull **** his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
plays well with others
iTrader: (1)
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,923
From: Sac
Car Info: your mother crazy
(970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
(303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
(303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
(905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
VIP Member
iTrader: (17)
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 22,776
From: Sunnyvale, CA
Car Info: '13 BRZ Limited / '02 WRX
VIP Member
iTrader: (17)
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 22,776
From: Sunnyvale, CA
Car Info: '13 BRZ Limited / '02 WRX
(408): When I'm drunk i like to pretend my ***** is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Something Custom
iTrader: (9)
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 14,505
From: Las Vegas NV
Car Info: 2018 Grand Cherokee Limited Ecodiesel EOC Stage 1
Some ****ing gems!
(650): you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
(1-650): noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
(1-650): noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
(650): I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
(650): I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
(614): Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
(1-614): I had better be ****ing involved with step four.
(1-614): I had better be ****ing involved with step four.
(215): I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
(267): I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
(267): I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
(502): i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
(404): "tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
