Fart stories! first edition...
General Pimpin'
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From: Knee deep in beer. subabrew crew, ca.
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Lots of booze, southern food and a long drive from riverside in the heat are never good.
I had a fierce hang over and felt like crap. Just as I start to fly over the grape vine I start to get the pains..... I'm like...oh man I'm gonna crap my pants... Then I realize it's just gas....but we all know how liquor infused gas can be. I'm about done with the vine when I finally HAVE to let one go....
Oooooppsss!!!!!!!!! Totally sharted. Just a minor one so I'm good to go. Pull into the gas station. Stay in my car. Rip my pants off...my boxers off...toss them out the window...put my pants back on...and drove away. Didn't need gas and figured I didn't want to stick around and see people's reactions to a pair of chones getting lobbed out of the window.
I had a fierce hang over and felt like crap. Just as I start to fly over the grape vine I start to get the pains..... I'm like...oh man I'm gonna crap my pants... Then I realize it's just gas....but we all know how liquor infused gas can be. I'm about done with the vine when I finally HAVE to let one go....
Oooooppsss!!!!!!!!! Totally sharted. Just a minor one so I'm good to go. Pull into the gas station. Stay in my car. Rip my pants off...my boxers off...toss them out the window...put my pants back on...and drove away. Didn't need gas and figured I didn't want to stick around and see people's reactions to a pair of chones getting lobbed out of the window.
I got a good one.
My friend, who we'll call "R", in high school, was taking a test in his french class and finished early. As he sat there, in almost complete silence, the only noise that could be heard were furious pencils scratching. He was wondering to himself, "what would jesus do?"
So he decided he was going to tickle his friend in front of him just for the heck of it, who happened to still be taking the test. You know how you sit in places and hold the fart in, as if you're saving it for future release?
So "R" tickles his other friend, who goes "AH- Ha ha ha BEERRRAAAAPPPPP! (sound of the fart resonating against the wooden seat)." I guess his friend had been saving one for after class, but when he laughed from being tickled, his spinchter muscles must have relaxed just enough to allow the pressure to release.
After about 5 minutes of uncontrollable laughter from everybody in the class, including the teacher, an embaressed friend, the test resumed... French was never the same...
BTW, gino, those "Pok" are hilarious.
My friend, who we'll call "R", in high school, was taking a test in his french class and finished early. As he sat there, in almost complete silence, the only noise that could be heard were furious pencils scratching. He was wondering to himself, "what would jesus do?"
So he decided he was going to tickle his friend in front of him just for the heck of it, who happened to still be taking the test. You know how you sit in places and hold the fart in, as if you're saving it for future release?
So "R" tickles his other friend, who goes "AH- Ha ha ha BEERRRAAAAPPPPP! (sound of the fart resonating against the wooden seat)." I guess his friend had been saving one for after class, but when he laughed from being tickled, his spinchter muscles must have relaxed just enough to allow the pressure to release.
After about 5 minutes of uncontrollable laughter from everybody in the class, including the teacher, an embaressed friend, the test resumed... French was never the same...
BTW, gino, those "Pok" are hilarious.
One time in like 8th grade I was in class in the middle of a test, and had to let out a huge one. I was trying to hold it in for the last 10min of class when all of a sudden my nose started to itch... then tickle... till i finally ended up sneezing. The sneeze in turn caused me to fart insanely loud. When I brought my head back up from the sneeze, everyone in class was staring at me, so what do I do? I immidiately turned to the person behind me and gave them this confused look! Hah, fun times.
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From: san jose, ca
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Originally Posted by gbmotorsports
I got a new one,
I was in the (10 hr flight) plane and walked from front to rear while releasing the potent gas !!!! I then walked to the otherside and looked at the area that just got hit. LMAO.. they never knew what hit em.
back now from vacation !
gino
I was in the (10 hr flight) plane and walked from front to rear while releasing the potent gas !!!! I then walked to the otherside and looked at the area that just got hit. LMAO.. they never knew what hit em.
back now from vacation !gino
LOL.. thats gross but hilarious!
one time I did something like that, I was on the train and it was double decker. I was sitting on the 2nd level.
I had really bad gas for some reason, so I laid one and I guess fart gas is heavier than air, so it traveled down to the first level. The next thing I hear is the ppl accusing each other of farting. mwahha im evil, they never seen me up there.
Oh yeah this one kid I knew grewing up would literally save his farts in a jar bottle. Whenever he had to fart he'd quickly unscrew this glass jar and fart into it and close it right away, afterwards putting it in the refridgerator... He kept doing this for one year until he unleashed it upon his unsuspecting brother. His brother said it was the nastiest thing he ever smelled in his life... o..0
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From: gbmotorsports Hayward, CA
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Originally Posted by DanyoCantDrift
good thing i wasnt on that plane, lol....and they recirculate the air in planes too, dont they 
welcome back gino...did you go to back to the homeland (PI) like Riggs....i'm going in June for a wedding
- daniel
welcome back gino...did you go to back to the homeland (PI) like Riggs....i'm going in June for a wedding- daniel
.... went and did a European tour and almost did not get back due to the scare in London.Oh yeah, on a good note!!!
I farted on all the countries we went, "yes" I farted on the queens/kings bedrooms in all the castles/palaces we went to....
LMAO
gino
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From: gbmotorsports Hayward, CA
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Originally Posted by yungjin
:rotfl:
LOL.. thats gross but hilarious!
one time I did something like that, I was on the train and it was double decker. I was sitting on the 2nd level.
I had really bad gas for some reason, so I laid one and I guess fart gas is heavier than air, so it traveled down to the first level. The next thing I hear is the ppl accusing each other of farting. mwahha im evil, they never seen me up there.
Oh yeah this one kid I knew grewing up would literally save his farts in a jar bottle. Whenever he had to fart he'd quickly unscrew this glass jar and fart into it and close it right away, afterwards putting it in the refridgerator... He kept doing this for one year until he unleashed it upon his unsuspecting brother. His brother said it was the nastiest thing he ever smelled in his life... o..0
LOL.. thats gross but hilarious!
one time I did something like that, I was on the train and it was double decker. I was sitting on the 2nd level.
I had really bad gas for some reason, so I laid one and I guess fart gas is heavier than air, so it traveled down to the first level. The next thing I hear is the ppl accusing each other of farting. mwahha im evil, they never seen me up there.
Oh yeah this one kid I knew grewing up would literally save his farts in a jar bottle. Whenever he had to fart he'd quickly unscrew this glass jar and fart into it and close it right away, afterwards putting it in the refridgerator... He kept doing this for one year until he unleashed it upon his unsuspecting brother. His brother said it was the nastiest thing he ever smelled in his life... o..0
dam that is sick, jar farts !!!!
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From: rightBehindYou, HI
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i will challenge anyone to a farting duel. i will beat anyone. even if it means spreading chocolate on my underpants. i never lose. period.
aloha from the summit of *-^-Mauna Kea-^-*
aloha from the summit of *-^-Mauna Kea-^-*
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I think I just had the worst gas in the world.
Ever get that heavy amount of gas where you're also constipated? The only thing you could do is burp but that takes like 200 burps to clear. Feels like your intestines are going to blow up or something.
Remedy: Rubbed the pain area with some Chinese cooling oil.
Ever get that heavy amount of gas where you're also constipated? The only thing you could do is burp but that takes like 200 burps to clear. Feels like your intestines are going to blow up or something.
Remedy: Rubbed the pain area with some Chinese cooling oil.
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nah.... you gotta do it like a bov.. my friends and i call this direct to atmosphere.... haha.. it feels really good to... riding your bike down the freeway at like 80mph and then you get up off your seat and fart... hahahha... its like nos... but w/ your *** and it comes out so quick and smooth, with no smell... haha
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From: rightBehindYou, HI
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i nuked my wife this morning- i sealed the blanket tight, and exploded like a trumpet having sex with a tuba... she nearly passed out. so did i. i'm deadly i tell ya.
aloha from the summit of *-^-Mauna Kea-^-*
aloha from the summit of *-^-Mauna Kea-^-*
