Fart stories! first edition...
07-05-2005, 09:11 AM
#1
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Fart stories! first edition...
Elevators are the best place to rip one.
Do it when they all go in the elevator then press 2nd floor and watch them all press higher floors, then cut one and get off on the second floor and watch how many follow you out.
LMAO
Do it when they all go in the elevator then press 2nd floor and watch them all press higher floors, then cut one and get off on the second floor and watch how many follow you out.
LMAO
07-05-2005, 09:21 AM
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I-70 Snowboard Road Trips
Tuna Sandwiches (lots of onions) and Cool Range Dorito's...my bro, a few friends and I tried to survive the trip typically from Denver to Loveland Pass, Breckenridge, or Copper Mtn...Telluride nearly killed us all...
It wasn't the farts man but the "BURPS!!!!' It was bad enough to make anyone gag...
OH MY GOD....try rolling down the windows at -10 degrees going 70MPH...just so you can breath...AIR!!!!
The tale tell sign....talking, silence, a very minutely audible, lip directed "Pooof", an evil Giggle....and everyone turning BLUE in the face!!!!
Now I don't have to tell you what the drive back home was like with all that stuff being mixed up in our bellies all day....
Ya, it made for a long ride home....
It wasn't the farts man but the "BURPS!!!!' It was bad enough to make anyone gag...
OH MY GOD....try rolling down the windows at -10 degrees going 70MPH...just so you can breath...AIR!!!!
The tale tell sign....talking, silence, a very minutely audible, lip directed "Pooof", an evil Giggle....and everyone turning BLUE in the face!!!!
Now I don't have to tell you what the drive back home was like with all that stuff being mixed up in our bellies all day....
Ya, it made for a long ride home....
Last edited by Island Style; 07-05-2005 at 09:24 AM.
07-05-2005, 09:31 AM
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10 pints of Kronenburg 1664 and a Vindaloo then a packed Waterloo and City line subway ride is never a good thing. Mind you it's funny seeing all the suits turn green as you and your mates **** yourself laughing at them trying to get out of the train.
Mike
Mike
07-05-2005, 09:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Steven@Coach
Fart in bed, then cover your wife's/girlfriend's head with the blanket. Guaranteed way to not get some that night.
-Steven
-Steven
Mike
07-05-2005, 10:57 AM
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That's called a dutch grenade
Originally Posted by Steven@Coach
Fart in bed, then cover your wife's/girlfriend's head with the blanket. Guaranteed way to not get some that night.
Liver pills will give you a stench so powerful that nobody can ignore it, combined with garlic, it lingers in the air. You can fill a 20x15 foot masterbedroom in about 30 mins and it will remain long after you have gone. This can be dangerous in a small bathroom with the door closed or given as a dutch grenade - she will not forgive you soon AND she will bring it up years later!
07-05-2005, 11:49 AM
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Originally Posted by UK n00b
Whit you truely are evil!
But it can be really funny locked in a car during a snow storm! or when your significant other walks into a room you were sitting watching tv in with the doors and windows closed.
07-05-2005, 12:00 PM
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I take it none of you has tried to light a fart on fire in front of some friends and had the explosive gas shoot out of your hole at such velocity, it extinguished the lighter flame, and any pride you previously had, and garnered humiliation for the rest of your life, countlessly retold at every opportunity by all witnesses?
and yes, it won't get you laid... However, the dutch oven is classic.
At my work, when I'm on the can, people are using the urinal and they constantly let them rip. I think it's the exertion of certain muscles that allow you to **** that relax other muscles that allow you to hold in your farts... It's quite funny, and I have to bite my hand from laughing through the stall... Of course, I'm also taking a dump, so it's not like I'm in any position to be laughing at them in the first place...
and yes, it won't get you laid... However, the dutch oven is classic.
At my work, when I'm on the can, people are using the urinal and they constantly let them rip. I think it's the exertion of certain muscles that allow you to **** that relax other muscles that allow you to hold in your farts... It's quite funny, and I have to bite my hand from laughing through the stall... Of course, I'm also taking a dump, so it's not like I'm in any position to be laughing at them in the first place...
07-05-2005, 03:11 PM
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In class we were taking a final and I was finished so I put my head down to sleep, and I farted a few minutes into resting LOL good thing I was sitting next to all my buddies and they were the only ones who heard it HAHAHAH
07-05-2005, 03:14 PM
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Originally Posted by sleepy22
At my work, when I'm on the can, people are using the urinal and they constantly let them rip. I think it's the exertion of certain muscles that allow you to **** that relax other muscles that allow you to hold in your farts... It's quite funny, and I have to bite my hand from laughing through the stall... Of course, I'm also taking a dump, so it's not like I'm in any position to be laughing at them in the first place...
HAHAHAHAHA that happens at school ROFL!!
07-05-2005, 04:59 PM
#13
Originally Posted by Steven@Coach
Fart in bed, then cover your wife's/girlfriend's head with the blanket. Guaranteed way to not get some that night.
-Steven
-Steven
the true fun is having a car with power windows, and locks for said windows.....
07-05-2005, 05:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Steven@Coach
Fart in bed, then cover your wife's/girlfriend's head with the blanket. Guaranteed way to not get some that night.
-Steven
-Steven
Originally Posted by sleepy22
At my work, when I'm on the can, people are using the urinal and they constantly let them rip. I think it's the exertion of certain muscles that allow you to **** that relax other muscles that allow you to hold in your farts... It's quite funny, and I have to bite my hand from laughing through the stall... Of course, I'm also taking a dump, so it's not like I'm in any position to be laughing at them in the first place...
Today I was pissing and my scottish coworker walks in, says high, grabs an empty stall and let out a little grunt, then he straight projectile diarea'd in to the pot and said "that cabbage was no ****in good!" and I burst out laughing histarically!