Am I justified (about my anger with future in-laws?)
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Originally Posted by ryball
Pirate ship wedding at Treasure Island in Vegas. You have the option of sinking the ship at the end of the ceremony with the wedding party on board.
the end.
Seriously, we would have done this if we thought our parents wouldn't have a coronary. :rotfl:
the end.
Seriously, we would have done this if we thought our parents wouldn't have a coronary. :rotfl:
It's still in the thought process....honestly.
When I was at the golf club with my folks I said something and my mom just said...bye...how can we help you. And laughed. They wouldn't care. Either would her parents. It would be a blast to just spend a couple grand on a dope *** hotel room in vegas. Fly our wedding party out and pay for their rooms. Anyone else and everything else is up to them. Just party for a couple days. Jump on a plane and fly to said location and commense the week of fornication.
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Originally Posted by OneManArmy
I honestly don't understand how it's a favor? I don't like oweing favors either. I hate oweing people money or asking for help. Ask anyone that saw me go through the last 8 months of life. I grew up on my own. Got adopted at 15. Left the house at 17. Fortunately my family is my family and we do nothing but grow closer and closer every day.
anyways....I don't see how it's a favor? Tradition says that brides family foots most of the bill. Most people I know the parents pay as much as they possibly can because they don't want their kids starting out in debt...etc..etc. It's not a favor. It's your life. If your parents are guilting you about something like that then they need to get ****ing life. It's your wedding for christ's sake.
If I wanted to buy tv and asked for $3000 I'd feel like I owed a favor. But not for this. I don't feel bad at all expecting as much help as one can honestly offer...it's they don't want to that erks me....and it doesn't so much erk me that I even want their help. It erks me because I know it really herts my fiance' that her parents didn't think enough about her to plan for this or about us to even pinch pennies for the last couple years. I mean they got a $22,000 check last year and another chunk about that size not to long after from life insurance policies and houses being sold. (grandpa died) They knew we were getting married. We'd be talking about it then. We've been together 4 damn years. Out of $40k or so in a year on top of other stuff they couldn't put a couple grand into a bank? but they could afford over $15,000 in furniture, $3000 car stereo, $3000 computer....etc....etc......etc...
anyways....I don't see how it's a favor? Tradition says that brides family foots most of the bill. Most people I know the parents pay as much as they possibly can because they don't want their kids starting out in debt...etc..etc. It's not a favor. It's your life. If your parents are guilting you about something like that then they need to get ****ing life. It's your wedding for christ's sake.
If I wanted to buy tv and asked for $3000 I'd feel like I owed a favor. But not for this. I don't feel bad at all expecting as much help as one can honestly offer...it's they don't want to that erks me....and it doesn't so much erk me that I even want their help. It erks me because I know it really herts my fiance' that her parents didn't think enough about her to plan for this or about us to even pinch pennies for the last couple years. I mean they got a $22,000 check last year and another chunk about that size not to long after from life insurance policies and houses being sold. (grandpa died) They knew we were getting married. We'd be talking about it then. We've been together 4 damn years. Out of $40k or so in a year on top of other stuff they couldn't put a couple grand into a bank? but they could afford over $15,000 in furniture, $3000 car stereo, $3000 computer....etc....etc......etc...
It was pretty much the same way then where you had to do it yourself for most of the people I knew that were getting married. Another thing possible was my wife's parents didn't like me too much because I was too young in their view. Now that I am older, they still don't like me much.
Originally Posted by OneManArmy
It's still in the thought process....honestly.
When I was at the golf club with my folks I said something and my mom just said...bye...how can we help you. And laughed. They wouldn't care. Either would her parents. It would be a blast to just spend a couple grand on a dope *** hotel room in vegas. Fly our wedding party out and pay for their rooms. Anyone else and everything else is up to them. Just party for a couple days. Jump on a plane and fly to said location and commense the week of fornication.
When I was at the golf club with my folks I said something and my mom just said...bye...how can we help you. And laughed. They wouldn't care. Either would her parents. It would be a blast to just spend a couple grand on a dope *** hotel room in vegas. Fly our wedding party out and pay for their rooms. Anyone else and everything else is up to them. Just party for a couple days. Jump on a plane and fly to said location and commense the week of fornication.
I WISH we could have had a nice private wedding with just immediate family and our best friends...
Whatever you guys end up deciding, you know we all wish you nothing but the best when you guys do get married.
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whatever we end up doing we're still having a big bash at the house so all you beeches are invited to poach my beer..haaaa.
Every family is different.
No one, especailly friends, will tell you they had a bad time at your wedding.
Tradition goes out the window in this day and age and especially when wedding cost $15K nowadays minimum.
Now that we have those facts out of the way; you should let both sides know exactly how much they are contributing. It's not a guilt thing, it's a lot to do w/ family pride and you don't want there to be a miscommunication on this. Let her parents know upfront that yours are putting in said amount. It's up to them to match, put in some, or shut-up.
Unsaid Expectations and assumptions seems to be the worst part of planning a wedding. Clear the air and move on.
No one, especailly friends, will tell you they had a bad time at your wedding.
Tradition goes out the window in this day and age and especially when wedding cost $15K nowadays minimum.
Now that we have those facts out of the way; you should let both sides know exactly how much they are contributing. It's not a guilt thing, it's a lot to do w/ family pride and you don't want there to be a miscommunication on this. Let her parents know upfront that yours are putting in said amount. It's up to them to match, put in some, or shut-up.
Unsaid Expectations and assumptions seems to be the worst part of planning a wedding. Clear the air and move on.
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Yea Ray its pretty jacked but me and Dawn are having the same problems. Her dad and stepmom are talking about spending some 2 to 3 grand to renovate their house. Yet they don't have money to help us. I know her mom and stepdad have no money and my parents don't have any either. we're just lucky enough to be living at home and can save money. We aren't doing a great job at it now. But next year we seriously will be doing absolutely nothing but work. No fun stuff cause we have to save every penny we earn.
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Originally Posted by bluwrxwgn
Yea Ray its pretty jacked but me and Dawn are having the same problems. Her dad and stepmom are talking about spending some 2 to 3 grand to renovate their house. Yet they don't have money to help us. I know her mom and stepdad have no money and my parents don't have any either. we're just lucky enough to be living at home and can save money. We aren't doing a great job at it now. But next year we seriously will be doing absolutely nothing but work. No fun stuff cause we have to save every penny we earn.
no joke. And you guys know you can get any help you need from us.
Invites. Photos. Assembly. Whatever. We're down.
We're the same way with funds right now. Get bills paid down. Cars fixed. Then next year we're saving saving saving.
BOOST. good advice there. My folks offered up help but made it very clear they didn't want to step on toes. So we've done the talking. Everyone knows. It'll work out.
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well i guess they are not invited over for christmas now
that is bull**it they need to atleast pay a small part or give you guys the new stereo as a wedding gift
that is bull**it they need to atleast pay a small part or give you guys the new stereo as a wedding gift
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yes you are justified! but feel better about your situation my (future in-laws) are tryin to break me and my girl up because i joined the army.
so i'm going through hell in that area, thought it might encourage you
so i'm going through hell in that area, thought it might encourage you
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Originally Posted by OneManArmy
no joke. And you guys know you can get any help you need from us.
Invites. Photos. Assembly. Whatever. We're down.
We're the same way with funds right now. Get bills paid down. Cars fixed. Then next year we're saving saving saving.
BOOST. good advice there. My folks offered up help but made it very clear they didn't want to step on toes. So we've done the talking. Everyone knows. It'll work out.
Invites. Photos. Assembly. Whatever. We're down.
We're the same way with funds right now. Get bills paid down. Cars fixed. Then next year we're saving saving saving.
BOOST. good advice there. My folks offered up help but made it very clear they didn't want to step on toes. So we've done the talking. Everyone knows. It'll work out.
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Bro, forgive me I haven't read this whole thread:
That said, this marriage is all about you and your fiance, especially since there isn't any help from the in-laws. Seriously, get married in Vegas, or even local at City Hall, and then throw an after party at a friends house, or some place to host a nice party. Use the money you do have to do a nice honeymoon. Becareful about getting into debt with this whole thing. Money issues can be a big source of frustration in a marriage.
Not sure if your fiance has been dreamin about the whole white dress and bridemaids senario. . . if so that may be a different challenge. hmmmm!
That said, this marriage is all about you and your fiance, especially since there isn't any help from the in-laws. Seriously, get married in Vegas, or even local at City Hall, and then throw an after party at a friends house, or some place to host a nice party. Use the money you do have to do a nice honeymoon. Becareful about getting into debt with this whole thing. Money issues can be a big source of frustration in a marriage.
Not sure if your fiance has been dreamin about the whole white dress and bridemaids senario. . . if so that may be a different challenge. hmmmm!
Last edited by adizon; Aug 3, 2006 at 12:33 PM.
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Originally Posted by adizon
Becareful about getting into debt with this hole thing.
But, this is coming from someone who wants a small/modest wedding.
-Mike-
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The problem with having anger towards your in-laws is that they will always be your inlaws, will always be your wife's parents and so you HAVE to get along with them.
All you can do is think happy thoughts and try your best to respect them. It's hard.
All you can do is think happy thoughts and try your best to respect them. It's hard.
