Is my anger reasonable or am I just an *******.....


I'm getting married. Well tradition says the bride's family forks the bill....or at least as much as they can handle minus the groom/groomsmen needs.

Well just a week ago my fiance' and I were informed we'd be getting ZERO help from her family. Ok that's fine they don't have much money...whatever.

Well today I return from work to find an overjoyed mother in law and father and law that just can't wait to tell me about the new toy they just bought.


.....background.

They have an old *** ford ranger that her dad drives that my girl gave them and a piece of crap buick park avenue with blown struts that's always broke down and gets driven like once a month....her mom lives on the computer...no joke.

back to the deal.

So they tell me...well her antenna was busted and one of the speakers blew and what not so they wanted a new deck and antenna and maybe some speakers. So they go to Best Buy. The guy says they can't get them in today so they go to the audio place around the bend....high profile gear and what not. They work on my car.

Well needless to say they walked out with Kenwoods BRAND new GPS/DVD indash combo deck. 4 new speakers and an antenna. And are talking about adding the $100 XM deal and the Ipod hook up.

All in all my best guess is they dropped $2500.


So a week after informing their ONLY DAUGHTER she would get no help whatsover on her wedding they've had her whole life to prepare for they drop what would have been a BIIIIIG help to us in dough. That would have cover quite a bit.



So my question is this...am I justified in my anger...frustration?

This basically tells me that they have no qualms in letting MY parents and US foot 100% of the bill...in fact they expect my folks to kick down.

My fiance' has been pissed for a while now but I just kind of figured...well they just bought a house and they're broke. Well apparently not. And they also mentioned that the expect a pretty fat bonus for his retirement so they can get a new car and pull their fancy gadgets out and put them in there.

Mind you this is a woman that never drives her car. Couldn't work the stereo she had. Has no clue how to burn an MP3 cd let alone figure out a GPS system. Extent of computer knowledge or use on her $3000pc is internet games....like chess and ****.



BBBBBBBBBBSAHAERRRRRErt.

 

maybe they got hoodwinked by the place...set up on some payment plan?

in any event, that is f'ed up. although when my girl and i are getting married, we're doing it on our own...no parents...i want them to retire nicely and not have to deal with our ****.

 

Yea thats really rude of them bro...sorry to hear that :/. Are they nice people otherwise?

 

well, it sounds like they aren't going to be much help in this, car stereo or not. it's probably not a good idea to guilt them into helping with the costs, because they will hold it over you and your wife for a very long time.

just keep in mind that people who contribute $0 to your wedding get 0 input when it comes to making decisions.

 

I'd be a little pissed. My wifes parent kicked down most of the money for our wedding. Apparently they were unfamiliar with the tradition. Yase took a bunch of **** from her old man because he dropped like 14 large and my parents put down about 4. Now Yase's parents are really well off, my parents could be doing a whole lot better to say the least, but they still kicked some down. In addition to the money they put down they had to pay for hotel, airfare, food, for my brother and thier girlfriends. I though it was stupid for them to pay for thier girlfriend, none of which are around mind you. Are megans parents being really obstinant about it? Have you guys asked for help? What do you folks say about it?

 

How do you pronounce this anyway

 

dude get used to it. welcome to being married. there are positives to this.... sounds like your future in-laws have money mgt issues, not getting help for the wedding is probably a good thing in the long run (especially if your fiancee is in agreement with you).

 

We're not guilting them into anything.

We haven't even been in there face about tradition or any of that. They just made it very very clear on a couple of occassions that they simple "can't" help out AT ALL. I mean we would have been stoke if they paid for the dress or something. You know $500 a grand not much you know. I mean we are pretty much planning on doing this all ourselves so any help is help.

There was no...but tradition. But you've had 22 years to save. Blah blah. None of that. Just a...hey we're getting married are you gonna help at all kind of deal. I'm pretty mellow and my lady and I have already decided that if we can't come up with the 15k it would probably take that we'll take a loan out for $5k and take all our groomsmen/bridesmaids and bolt to vegas for a weekend and just have a blast getting hitched by elvis or the aliens or something. Just fun or whatever.

We still might do that.


Fortunately my folks have offered up some help and we're gonna do as much as we can on our own via loanes and DIY stuff and what not.

 

true dat on all accounts. She's looking over my shoulder right now............as usual.








Scratch the as usual part. I'm being threatened to take it off.

 

I've been to many weddings, nice weddings for the most part has very little to do with how much you spend but rather on how you spend it and your attitude towards the whole thing.

example, one of my best friends spent 80k, yes 80 f'ing K. rolled up in Rolls, had exotic flowers, etc. they were so stressed that everything had to be perfect cause they spent all that money.

 

if it's not too late...


www.dontmarry.com











jk

 

since they didnt help pay for anything, they have 0% say in how the wedding goes. if they dont agree on something, too ****ing bad for them.....

 

when i met your wife at FLI (hi fli!) i noticed she had an accent, where is she from?

 

and ray thats life, but yes i understand and feel your frustration to be justified.

 

I hear ya on that one. My girl and I will pay for everything.. I don't want our parents to have to worry about that kind of crap.