awsome IM conversations
12-29-2006, 03:11 PM
#1561
Registered User
iTrader: (1)
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: ubermeister of pr0n
Posts: 5,967
Car Info: oh seben lay-gah-C
Originally Posted by UberMaus
<Pulits> So we a have a masochist, a sadist, a zoophilic, a necrophile, a coprophilic and a fetichist.
<Maltos> Why the *** do I have the impression this is going to be nasty?
<Pulits> They're all in jail. So suddenly, the zoophilic says "Hey guys, lets ***ing rape a cat!"
<Pulits> And everybody is like "*** YES!", but suddenly, the coprophilic says "After we *** it, we **** on it!"
<Pulits> Everybody applauds. And the necrophile then says "Then, we kill it. And after that, WE *** IT!"
<Maltos> Ok dude this is sick.
<Pulits> Everybody is orgasmed. The sadist then says "Before we kill it, lets ***ing torture it!"
<Maltos> Jesus leave the cat alone!
<Pulits> So the fetichist is like "And then, we ***** rape it!"
<Pulits> Everybody is like "YEAH MAN LETS DO IT!"
<Maltos> What does the masochist says, then?
<Pulits> "Meow."
<Maltos> HAHAHAHA. XD
<Maltos> Why the *** do I have the impression this is going to be nasty?
<Pulits> They're all in jail. So suddenly, the zoophilic says "Hey guys, lets ***ing rape a cat!"
<Pulits> And everybody is like "*** YES!", but suddenly, the coprophilic says "After we *** it, we **** on it!"
<Pulits> Everybody applauds. And the necrophile then says "Then, we kill it. And after that, WE *** IT!"
<Maltos> Ok dude this is sick.
<Pulits> Everybody is orgasmed. The sadist then says "Before we kill it, lets ***ing torture it!"
<Maltos> Jesus leave the cat alone!
<Pulits> So the fetichist is like "And then, we ***** rape it!"
<Pulits> Everybody is like "YEAH MAN LETS DO IT!"
<Maltos> What does the masochist says, then?
<Pulits> "Meow."
<Maltos> HAHAHAHA. XD
01-05-2007, 03:13 PM
#1562
Originally Posted by sigma pi
mei401: i still haven't told my parents i'm going back to vegas this weekend
D Duval 059: HAHA how odl are you????!?!?!?!?!
mie401: 25
D Duval 059: HAHA how odl are you????!?!?!?!?!
mie401: 25
01-05-2007, 03:25 PM
#1564
Originally Posted by sigma pi
no thats not her real sn 
01-08-2007, 11:51 AM
#1566
VIP Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: My beer needs an f5 button
Posts: 7,187
Car Info: Meep Meep!
<DW>So, I had to get a colonoscopy today
<DW>That's where they stick a camera up your *** and take pictures of your intestines
<Relentless>that's just great
<DW>Anyway, that part wasn't bad, the bad part was the prep for it
<pyr0>which was...
<DW>I didn't eat anything yesterday. Starting at 3 PM I had to drink about 2 liters of this **** that would help clear my intestines out. Basically, from 3 PM until about 12 I had SEVERE abdominal cramps. I mean severe. I'm talking about rolling around on the floor punching **** severe
<DW>Anyway, during this, I started to get horny for some reason
<DW>It was a strange feeling really. Not even being able to stand up because of crippling pains, and yet at the same time, having a raging boner and wanting to jack off
<Relentless>this wont end well
<DW>Anyway, I had been sh!tting brown water since 3 (that's what the nasty **** I drank did), and I needed to again. But since I had a huge boner I figured I'll take care of it while I'm in the can. So, I'm standing over the toilet cranking one off, and I'm getting the *****, so I sit down. Just before I'm about to ***, I start feeling like I'm going to puke. Now, I had vomit brewing for awhile. You know that feeling you get when you're going to puke? When you start to feel sick and start salivating a lot? I had been getting that since I went to the bathroom. Anyway it built up enough that I started VIOLENTLY and LOUDLY puking. I'm ***ing lucky the sink is right next to the toilet. The force of this caused me to begin shooting ****-water out of my **** with the force of a pressure washer. The spasming of my entire body caused my hand to move around enough that I started cumming.
<DW>So after all was said and done, I had a line of fire burning a line from my ***** to and up my arsecrack, puke in the sink, and *** covering my legs.
<DW>Yeah yesterday was not a good day :\
*LONG pause*
<pyr0>...
<Neo>what the ***
<SSB>.....
<CT_Frog>o_o
<MMB>You have lived more in that one moment than anyone else in their entire lives
<DW>That's where they stick a camera up your *** and take pictures of your intestines
<Relentless>that's just great
<DW>Anyway, that part wasn't bad, the bad part was the prep for it
<pyr0>which was...
<DW>I didn't eat anything yesterday. Starting at 3 PM I had to drink about 2 liters of this **** that would help clear my intestines out. Basically, from 3 PM until about 12 I had SEVERE abdominal cramps. I mean severe. I'm talking about rolling around on the floor punching **** severe
<DW>Anyway, during this, I started to get horny for some reason
<DW>It was a strange feeling really. Not even being able to stand up because of crippling pains, and yet at the same time, having a raging boner and wanting to jack off
<Relentless>this wont end well
<DW>Anyway, I had been sh!tting brown water since 3 (that's what the nasty **** I drank did), and I needed to again. But since I had a huge boner I figured I'll take care of it while I'm in the can. So, I'm standing over the toilet cranking one off, and I'm getting the *****, so I sit down. Just before I'm about to ***, I start feeling like I'm going to puke. Now, I had vomit brewing for awhile. You know that feeling you get when you're going to puke? When you start to feel sick and start salivating a lot? I had been getting that since I went to the bathroom. Anyway it built up enough that I started VIOLENTLY and LOUDLY puking. I'm ***ing lucky the sink is right next to the toilet. The force of this caused me to begin shooting ****-water out of my **** with the force of a pressure washer. The spasming of my entire body caused my hand to move around enough that I started cumming.
<DW>So after all was said and done, I had a line of fire burning a line from my ***** to and up my arsecrack, puke in the sink, and *** covering my legs.
<DW>Yeah yesterday was not a good day :\
*LONG pause*
<pyr0>...
<Neo>what the ***
<SSB>.....
<CT_Frog>o_o
<MMB>You have lived more in that one moment than anyone else in their entire lives
01-08-2007, 04:39 PM
#1567
Hurray, it's Ian!!
iTrader: (4)
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: on an airplane
Posts: 3,612
Car Info: 2002 MBP WRX Sedan
Originally Posted by UberMaus
<DW>So, I had to get a colonoscopy today
<DW>That's where they stick a camera up your *** and take pictures of your intestines
<Relentless>that's just great
<DW>Anyway, that part wasn't bad, the bad part was the prep for it
<pyr0>which was...
<DW>I didn't eat anything yesterday. Starting at 3 PM I had to drink about 2 liters of this **** that would help clear my intestines out. Basically, from 3 PM until about 12 I had SEVERE abdominal cramps. I mean severe. I'm talking about rolling around on the floor punching **** severe
<DW>Anyway, during this, I started to get horny for some reason
<DW>It was a strange feeling really. Not even being able to stand up because of crippling pains, and yet at the same time, having a raging boner and wanting to jack off
<Relentless>this wont end well
<DW>Anyway, I had been sh!tting brown water since 3 (that's what the nasty **** I drank did), and I needed to again. But since I had a huge boner I figured I'll take care of it while I'm in the can. So, I'm standing over the toilet cranking one off, and I'm getting the *****, so I sit down. Just before I'm about to ***, I start feeling like I'm going to puke. Now, I had vomit brewing for awhile. You know that feeling you get when you're going to puke? When you start to feel sick and start salivating a lot? I had been getting that since I went to the bathroom. Anyway it built up enough that I started VIOLENTLY and LOUDLY puking. I'm ***ing lucky the sink is right next to the toilet. The force of this caused me to begin shooting ****-water out of my **** with the force of a pressure washer. The spasming of my entire body caused my hand to move around enough that I started cumming.
<DW>So after all was said and done, I had a line of fire burning a line from my ***** to and up my arsecrack, puke in the sink, and *** covering my legs.
<DW>Yeah yesterday was not a good day :\
*LONG pause*
<pyr0>...
<Neo>what the ***
<SSB>.....
<CT_Frog>o_o
<MMB>You have lived more in that one moment than anyone else in their entire lives
<DW>That's where they stick a camera up your *** and take pictures of your intestines
<Relentless>that's just great
<DW>Anyway, that part wasn't bad, the bad part was the prep for it
<pyr0>which was...
<DW>I didn't eat anything yesterday. Starting at 3 PM I had to drink about 2 liters of this **** that would help clear my intestines out. Basically, from 3 PM until about 12 I had SEVERE abdominal cramps. I mean severe. I'm talking about rolling around on the floor punching **** severe
<DW>Anyway, during this, I started to get horny for some reason
<DW>It was a strange feeling really. Not even being able to stand up because of crippling pains, and yet at the same time, having a raging boner and wanting to jack off
<Relentless>this wont end well
<DW>Anyway, I had been sh!tting brown water since 3 (that's what the nasty **** I drank did), and I needed to again. But since I had a huge boner I figured I'll take care of it while I'm in the can. So, I'm standing over the toilet cranking one off, and I'm getting the *****, so I sit down. Just before I'm about to ***, I start feeling like I'm going to puke. Now, I had vomit brewing for awhile. You know that feeling you get when you're going to puke? When you start to feel sick and start salivating a lot? I had been getting that since I went to the bathroom. Anyway it built up enough that I started VIOLENTLY and LOUDLY puking. I'm ***ing lucky the sink is right next to the toilet. The force of this caused me to begin shooting ****-water out of my **** with the force of a pressure washer. The spasming of my entire body caused my hand to move around enough that I started cumming.
<DW>So after all was said and done, I had a line of fire burning a line from my ***** to and up my arsecrack, puke in the sink, and *** covering my legs.
<DW>Yeah yesterday was not a good day :\
*LONG pause*
<pyr0>...
<Neo>what the ***
<SSB>.....
<CT_Frog>o_o
<MMB>You have lived more in that one moment than anyone else in their entire lives
01-12-2007, 05:12 PM
#1568
VIP Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: My beer needs an f5 button
Posts: 7,187
Car Info: Meep Meep!
Damn im bored..
<Spock> I haven't received an email in a week
<Spock> and felt so lonely I bought a book off amazon.com
<Spock> just to get a confirmation via email
<Dougster> wow, you are even a loser in the internet
<Spock>
__________________________________________________ ________________
scruss: a guy called us and complained because his dsl didn't work, come to find out he had win98 and actually took a knife and trimmed the rj45 connection to fit into the rj11 jack
__________________________________________________ ________________
<komies> It got dead in here.
<komies> Riech, tell me a story.
<Shish> make it have pirates in it!
<Riech> Five pirates and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
<Riech> Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
<Riech> Each pirate will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next pirate in line will marry her and so on.
<komies> Five pirates and one woman? Seems like my kind of island.
<Riech> All the pirates get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different pirate each week.
<Riech> The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies...
<Riech> The first week after wasn't too bad.
<Riech> The second week was getting sort of bad.
<Riech> The third week was getting pretty bad.
<Riech> The fourth week was really bad.
<Riech> The fifth week was horrible!
<Riech> By the sixth week it was unbearable...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> So they buried her.
__________________________________________________ _____________
<Spock> and felt so lonely I bought a book off amazon.com
<Spock> just to get a confirmation via email
<Dougster> wow, you are even a loser in the internet
<Spock>
__________________________________________________ ________________
scruss: a guy called us and complained because his dsl didn't work, come to find out he had win98 and actually took a knife and trimmed the rj45 connection to fit into the rj11 jack
__________________________________________________ ________________
<komies> It got dead in here.
<komies> Riech, tell me a story.
<Shish> make it have pirates in it!
<Riech> Five pirates and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
<Riech> Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
<Riech> Each pirate will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next pirate in line will marry her and so on.
<komies> Five pirates and one woman? Seems like my kind of island.
<Riech> All the pirates get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different pirate each week.
<Riech> The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies...
<Riech> The first week after wasn't too bad.
<Riech> The second week was getting sort of bad.
<Riech> The third week was getting pretty bad.
<Riech> The fourth week was really bad.
<Riech> The fifth week was horrible!
<Riech> By the sixth week it was unbearable...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> So they buried her.
__________________________________________________ _____________
01-12-2007, 05:45 PM
#1569
Registered User
iTrader: (1)
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: ubermeister of pr0n
Posts: 5,967
Car Info: oh seben lay-gah-C
Originally Posted by UberMaus
<komies> It got dead in here.
<komies> Riech, tell me a story.
<Shish> make it have pirates in it!
<Riech> Five pirates and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
<Riech> Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
<Riech> Each pirate will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next pirate in line will marry her and so on.
<komies> Five pirates and one woman? Seems like my kind of island.
<Riech> All the pirates get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different pirate each week.
<Riech> The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies...
<Riech> The first week after wasn't too bad.
<Riech> The second week was getting sort of bad.
<Riech> The third week was getting pretty bad.
<Riech> The fourth week was really bad.
<Riech> The fifth week was horrible!
<Riech> By the sixth week it was unbearable...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> So they buried her.
<komies> Riech, tell me a story.
<Shish> make it have pirates in it!
<Riech> Five pirates and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
<Riech> Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
<Riech> Each pirate will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next pirate in line will marry her and so on.
<komies> Five pirates and one woman? Seems like my kind of island.
<Riech> All the pirates get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different pirate each week.
<Riech> The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies...
<Riech> The first week after wasn't too bad.
<Riech> The second week was getting sort of bad.
<Riech> The third week was getting pretty bad.
<Riech> The fourth week was really bad.
<Riech> The fifth week was horrible!
<Riech> By the sixth week it was unbearable...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> So they buried her.
01-12-2007, 06:41 PM
#1570
Last edited by datboijon; 03-05-2011 at 05:05 PM.