<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he ****ing KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a ****
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh ****... if i were taking a **** and someone came in and was sick and threw up all over me, i'd want to **** him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he ****ing SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

 

damn thats funny

 

<acidwar> last night, tony and I decided to stop off on the way to the party to get some beer
<acidwar> we come out of the shop a few minutes later and there's a parking guy writing a ticket
<acidwar> tony goes up to him and asks him what the ticket's for, parking guy explains that the car is parked in a no standing zone
<acidwar> tony starts abusing him and tells him to cram it up his ***, so the guy writes a ticket for abusing him
<Nuzzler> haha
<acidwar> so tony gets up him even more, and every time he says something the guy writes another ticket
<acidwar> 14 tickets later, the guy gives up and walks off
<dendyh0> ...
<acidwar> and we both **** ourselves laughing as we walk back to tony's car around the corner, leaving some poor bastard with 14 parking fines
<dendyh0> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<Nuzzler> ROFL!!

 

Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a ****ed up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest **** in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to **** and I find myself covered in ****. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some **** and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.

 

haha thats good stuff

 

<nick> ****ING HELL!!!!
<nick> I swear one day I'm just gonna go and hunt down every stupid ***** on earth and put them out of their misery...
<R4an0m> ?
<nick> Ok, theres this resteraunt just down the road from me where I eat every now and then.. other night I go in for dinner with my girlfriend. After drinking half a bottle of wine, my bowls begin to complain, so I head to the bathroom
<nick> I use the urinal and turn towards the sink and start to zip up at the same time when in walks this young girl of about 18, quite nice looking, and there I am with my dick still halfway out of my pants...
<nick> so I turn pretty damn fast in the other direction and zip up, then turn back expecting to find she'd dissapeared, only to discover that not only hadn't she left, she'd let the door shut and walked in a couple of steps towards me. Now I'm pretty embarrassed and point out to her that she had gone through the wrong door.
<nick> She tells me that no she didn't and then she ****ing reaches down and grabs my dick through my pants! I take a quick step backwards and ask her what the hell does she think she's doing (I mean **** what would happen if I wandered into the ladies and started feeling people up??).. she gets this disgusted look on her face and turns round, storms out the bathroom
<nick> Now I'm left standing there going "what the **** just happened??" for about a minute, then wash my hands and head back to the resteranut... only to be greeted by the young lady, the resteraunt manager and some 7 foot tall, 4 foot wide dude with "Security" written on his shirt. Alarm bells proceed to go off in my head, but I stay calm and ask what the problem is
<nick> the manager tells me the young lady (known from here on in as the *****) has complained about me sexually harassing her when she accidently walked into the wrong bathroom!
<nick> I resist the urge to walk over and punch her, and try to explain my version of what happened. At this point the ***** pipes up and calls me a "lying son of a *****" that was a "menace to society"
<nick> so I think "right I'll fix you" and turn to her and say "look you stupid *****, you came onto me, I turned you down, what kind of sad pathetic loser are you, that you have to hit on random guys in a bathroom anyway? Get over it, you lost, no need to get all *****y over it."
<nick> I figure now she'll either shut up or totally lose it and start screaming at me, but alas, I was mistaken about how ****ed I truely was. Instead of shutting up, she looked at me for a second then burst into tears, before turning to the manager and saying inbetween sobs....
<nick> ".....you're not going let him say that to me, are you daddy?"
<R4an0m> aahahahahahaa!!
<nick> so now Im sore from being thrown out the door by that bouncer, and I got a vist from the police this morning telling me I was being charged with sexual assault.. .

 

where are you finding these im convos?

 

yeah where are you getting these at jerry?

 

bash.org..??

 

dunno if he put this one up but...

Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

 

yes.. Omg, i've wasted so much time at work these days just readin this stuff..

lol

 

hehe, y eah... me and my friend always tried to get our convo up in there. had some good one they rejected but ah well..

 

* jasn_78 then sucks ur **** as finger ur wet tight *****
* hot_gurl_4_u grabs hold of your **** harder, moaning louder and louder, until finally her anus can take no more and she accidentally ****s on your hair
<hot_gurl_4_u> hehe, sorry
<jasn_78> yuck
<hot_gurl_4_u> sorry, its a medical problem
<-- jasn_78 has quit (Exit: )




lol!!!

female bloodninja??

 

<mikeD> ya i got into a fight im so pissed....
<abrutii> well... did you win?
<mikeD> no but i got a good hit in
<abrutii> ya? thats good, where did you hit him?
<mikeD> i hit his hand with my eye
<abrutii> lmfao

 

haha wtf