I owned myself in the company restroom today
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Posts: 1,440
From: Under a car
Car Info: some silver thing
Guard: Halt! Who goes there?
Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot.
King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!
Guard: Who's the other one?
Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length
and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my
court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Guard: What, ridden on a horse?
Arthur: Yes.
Guard: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: What?
Guard: You've got two empty 'alves of coconuts and you're bangin' 'em
together!
Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land.
Through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
Guard: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: (somewhat taken aback) We found them.
Guard: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Guard: This is a temperate zone!
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house maarten or the
plummer may seek warmer climes in winter, but these are not strangers
to our land!
Guard: Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
Arthur: Not at all! They could be carried.
Guard: (indcredulous) What, a swallow, carrying a coconut?
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
Guard: It's not a question of where 'e grips it! It's a simple question of
weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could *not* carry a one-pound
coconut!
Arthur: (exasperated)
Well it doesn't matter! Will you go and tell your master that Arthur
from the court of Camelot is here!
(pause)
Guard: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to
beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
Arthur: Please!
Guard: (patiently) Am I right.
Arthur: I'm not interested!
( A second guard appears on the rampart. )
G2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
G1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow, maybe, but not a European swallow, that's
my point.
G2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
Arthur: (extremely exasperated) Will you ask your master if he wants to join
my court at Camelot!!
(pause)
G1: But then of course, African swallows are non-migratory.
G2: Oh yeah...
(Arthur and Patsy give up and trot away)
G1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.
G2: Wait a minute! Supposing *two* swallows carried it together!
G1: Nooo..... They'd have to have it on a line...
G2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
G1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
G2: Well, why not?
Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot.
King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!
Guard: Who's the other one?
Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length
and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my
court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Guard: What, ridden on a horse?
Arthur: Yes.
Guard: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: What?
Guard: You've got two empty 'alves of coconuts and you're bangin' 'em
together!
Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land.
Through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
Guard: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: (somewhat taken aback) We found them.
Guard: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Guard: This is a temperate zone!
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house maarten or the
plummer may seek warmer climes in winter, but these are not strangers
to our land!
Guard: Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
Arthur: Not at all! They could be carried.
Guard: (indcredulous) What, a swallow, carrying a coconut?
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
Guard: It's not a question of where 'e grips it! It's a simple question of
weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could *not* carry a one-pound
coconut!
Arthur: (exasperated)
Well it doesn't matter! Will you go and tell your master that Arthur
from the court of Camelot is here!
(pause)
Guard: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to
beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
Arthur: Please!
Guard: (patiently) Am I right.
Arthur: I'm not interested!
( A second guard appears on the rampart. )
G2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
G1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow, maybe, but not a European swallow, that's
my point.
G2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
Arthur: (extremely exasperated) Will you ask your master if he wants to join
my court at Camelot!!
(pause)
G1: But then of course, African swallows are non-migratory.
G2: Oh yeah...
(Arthur and Patsy give up and trot away)
G1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.
G2: Wait a minute! Supposing *two* swallows carried it together!
G1: Nooo..... They'd have to have it on a line...
G2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
G1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
G2: Well, why not?
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hmm... didn't even read the whole thing...
Hmm, someone wasted entirely too much time researching a monty python sketch. It somehow makes it less funny. =P Now, if someone could research the holy handgrenade, that would be usefull. BOOM!
Greg
ace@inreach.com
Greg
ace@inreach.com
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Posts: 3,928
From: ...a craphole in No.County San Diego
Car Info: MMVI AW WRX STI
Originally posted by soundwave
i find it funny how you guys like to assume everything i post is straight from nasioc... LOL :banana:
i find it funny how you guys like to assume everything i post is straight from nasioc... LOL :banana:
Face it, you're not funny, you'll never be funny, and nobody likes you.
jk lol :banana:
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Posts: 14,221
From: Peoples Republik of Kalifornia
Car Info: 05 H2 SUT, 45 GPW, 10 Murano, 13 Boss 302
Originally posted by sonicsuby
hijack attempt DENIED.
hijack attempt DENIED.
I don't need more cowbell dammit!
iTrader: (5)
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 3,203
From: Equally as important as Walter
Car Info: E82
Originally posted by Sisqocqk
It's called being employed... you should try it sometime!
It's called being employed... you should try it sometime!
Registered User
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 570
From: Nor Cal
Car Info: 2010 370z Roadster, 2008 Frontier CrewCab
I'd go to the Pres, dude.
If you don't do anything, the next thing you know you'll end up in court because Dick is suing the company for age discrimination. It DOES happen. You live in California, right?
If you don't do anything, the next thing you know you'll end up in court because Dick is suing the company for age discrimination. It DOES happen. You live in California, right?
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,294
From: The confines of my own mind.
Car Info: 180sx super drift machine!
Asked, and granted!
BROTHER MAYNARD:
Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one.
SECOND BROTHER:
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
MAYNARD:
Skip a bit, Brother.
SECOND BROTHER:
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
MAYNARD:
Amen.
BROTHER MAYNARD:
Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one.
SECOND BROTHER:
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
MAYNARD:
Skip a bit, Brother.
SECOND BROTHER:
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
MAYNARD:
Amen.
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Posts: 18,369
From: Reno, NV
Car Info: 1993/2000/2001 GF4 mostly red
Originally posted by porkchop
Guard: Halt! Who goes there?
Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot.
King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!
Guard: Who's the other one?
Guard: Halt! Who goes there?
Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot.
King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!
Guard: Who's the other one?
Last edited by Kevin M; Mar 25, 2004 at 02:11 PM.
Registered User
iTrader: (12)
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 18,369
From: Reno, NV
Car Info: 1993/2000/2001 GF4 mostly red
Originally posted by Ex-ricer
SECOND BROTHER:
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
MAYNARD:
Amen.
SECOND BROTHER:
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
MAYNARD:
Amen.
and yes, I am unemployed... why do you ask?
Originally posted by FUNKED1
Great troll Sonicsuby. That was probably my favorite 80's sci fi movie. Up there with "They Live".
Great troll Sonicsuby. That was probably my favorite 80's sci fi movie. Up there with "They Live".
"I came here to kick *** and chew bubblegum...........and i'm all out of bubblegum....."
