Story time...

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Old Apr 6, 2005 | 10:01 PM
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Story time...

So today I drove into the city to see my chiropractor. Ever since I rode the "Dueling Dragons" at Islands of Adventure in Florida last week I've had this awful kink in my neck. I've never had whiplash but I'm guessing it felt something like this.

Today was a beautiful day and it felt really good to be back in my WRX after driving a rental Chevy Cobalt all last week. Through Florida. With a broken air conditioner. And no CDs.

Anyways, it was around 3pm and there was sparse traffic on the 101 south. I think I must've averaged about 85-90 the entire way down. Nothing dangerous. Changing lanes safely. But still mobbing the whole way down.

My appointment went great. My spine shot of like a machine gun (no BruceLee, I dont know what kind of machine gun) and I felt 100% better. After my appointment I stopped and visited some friends while I waited for traffic to die down. Around 6:30 pm I jetted back up the 101 to Petaluma and fell comfortably back into my 90+ mph rhythm.

Right after I pass Strawberry Village I spot him. There's a Black and White creeping up on me in the slow lane. Well, he looks like he's crawling because I'm doing about 100 mph now. Note: my V1 hasnt binged other than the auto dealerships that I'm already aware of. So I slow down to match the flow of traffic and he slides over behind me. Where the hell did he get on the freeway at? No radar, he must be trying to pace me CHP style. I look down and curse. Even though I'm now going with the flow of traffic I'm still sitting between 65 and 70 mph. He follows me for about 30 seconds before he pops his lights on. I try to pull over but I'm in some lady's blind spot and she's trying to get over to exit also. The more I slow down, the more she slows down. Dammit! So I decided to pass her and pull over in front of her. Mister CHP doesnt like this and flashes me some more as I move over. Dammit again! I get off at Paradise Drive and there's nowhere to pull over. All red curb with no driveways on my right and only car dealerships on my left. I keep turning right until I see a parking lot for Dennys on my right. Right then he megaphones over, "Since you cant figure out what you are doing why dont you pull into that parking lot on the right." Great, now I've really pissed him off.

I pull into a spot and he blocks me in. He storms up next to me and practically yells, "Give me one reason why I shouldnt haul you off to jail right now?!"

"EEK!"

I knew I was screwed so I told him I didnt have a reason. I apologized profusely and acknowledged that I was ****ed. Lot's of "yes sirs" and "no sirs." He asked me how fast I thought I was going. I said, "65-70, sir?"

"Try again"

"Er, honestly sir? 75-80 mph."

"Try again" He's just staring me down.

"Errr...ummm....(gulp)..."

He shook his head, "I've been following you since Golden Gate Bridge when I got on 3 cars behind you. I have been doing 85-100 mph for the last 10 miles trying to catch up with you. I almost had you about 3 or 4 miles back before you swooped across 3 lanes of traffic and took off like a bat out of hell while I got boxed in"

"Oh man..."

"What the hell were you thinking?!!!"

Look, I knew I was f****d, he knew I was f***ed so I told him straight up, "Sir, I dont want to argue with you. I know I've screwed up and any excuse I give you is simply an excuse at this point. Throw the book at me, I was out of line."

I think this defused the situation somewhat. That and the fact that I didnt exactly meet the young profile he was probably expecting when he walked up to the car. Hell, I was probably older than him. He asked for my excuse anyways and I threw in some "been at work since 6am" bs.

He inhaled deeply and looked at me, "I could get your for reckless driving, I could get your for over a 100 mph, and I could write you up for your tinted taillights (EEK!!). I could take you to jail right now." I was shaking my head trying not to laugh at myself and the situation. I think he was doing the same thing. "I'm going to do you a huge favor" he says, "...and you know it. I think you realize how pissed I am. How stupid that was. And I think you realize what a huge favor I am doing for you. I'm going to give you a warning. I'm going to drop everything except the speeding and lower the speed to 75. He steps back and looks at my car, "Now why dont you pop the hood while we're at it? Let me guess, cold air intake?"

What the hell just happened?!! Luckily my engine looks pretty stock from above. The only visible mod from above is my grounding kit and a stealth GFB BOV, which he of course points out immediately, "It's been a while since I've looked under one of these but what is that?"

"A stock recirculatory valve sir. It release back pressure... blah, blah, blah." Somehow he bought it but he proceeds to point out aftermarket headlights, lack of side markers, and tinted taillights again. I went back to the car and he goes back to his cruiser.

Somehow lady luck was on my side tonight. He came back and we talked some more and reached a couple of agreements about what I was going and not going to do with the ticket, and how you do not want to accelerate to pass someone you are behind when there is a CHP cruiser flashing his lights at you. And he pointed out all of the car dealership parking lots I could've pulled into. And that I was still doing over 60 even when I exited the freeway. And then he let me go with 75 in a 55. Which means I can go to traffic school.

Wow. He followed me for 10 miles trying to catch me, doing 85 to 100 mph the entire way, watching me make tons of illegal lane changes, numerous violations on my car, and he still lets me go with 75 in a 55. This is about the point where I cracked and started laughing at myself and the situation. Wow. What just happened? He started laughing at me too. I shook his hand and thanked him. And tried to do under 65 mph the rest of the way home.
















Oh, and I almost forgot... He also dumped the 1/8th of weed he found in my pocket. :P

Last edited by huck; Apr 6, 2005 at 10:14 PM.
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 10:07 PM
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w t f!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111


lucky bastard.
if it was me id be using the communal bandwith right now in jail.
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 10:09 PM
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heh. i work with marin county CHP all the time.
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 10:12 PM
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Wow. I don't know what to say other than thats great. And a great story.
Sounds like you said all the right things.
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 10:34 PM
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i guess some people just have a way with words
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 10:48 PM
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Damn!

Fair play to you for having the lady luck on your side.

Mike
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 10:52 PM
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wow, just wow..
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 10:57 PM
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theres one thing to look forward to when getting old, you dont look like some young punk.
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 10:59 PM
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Originally Posted by huck
Oh, and I almost forgot... He also dumped the 1/8th of weed he found in my pocket. :P
Dammn, i would have yelled at the cop, thats a crime
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 11:05 PM
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Great Story! Loved every minute of it and luck was with u...

Originally Posted by huck
*snip*Oh, and I almost forgot... He also dumped the 1/8th of weed he found in my pocket. :P
Tsk.. Tsk.. I'm speachless!
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 11:23 PM
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damn...
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 11:28 PM
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Originally Posted by huck

Oh, and I almost forgot... He also dumped the 1/8th of weed he found in my pocket. :P


Speeding and....

Speeding and....

Speeding and....

Speeding and....

Smokin the refer!

damn if that were me I'd been beaten, thrown in the back of the cop car, and had my STI crushed into a little cube. Dont lie Huck, I know you give a great hand job. Err, I mean, I'd imagine you give a great hand job.
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 11:39 PM
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100 past Strawberry Village? Chu crazy mang. You should know by now how many CHP are on that section of 101!
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 11:45 PM
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1/8 of weed? and he let you go?!? you are one lucky bastige. go and buy yourself a lotto ticket while you're still hot...seriously.

man, that is one hell of a story.
Old Apr 6, 2005 | 11:48 PM
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Lucky SOB!

Wow.



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