You don't look for answers or companionship in your right hand, what is wrong with all of you? He needs some resolution in this matter.

Your wife COULD be cheating on you, and you go for your hand??? No, you put your hand on the phone and get your isht enulled, or call a counselor, or call a P.I. and get to the bottom of it.

I'm willing to bet the communication is BAAAD between him and her...

 

lol.
If she don't put out. Put her out.

I voted for the mistress one though. Seems like the best compromise.

 

I also think that communication is the key here. I told my buddy already and he said that's not the problem.

Here's what I gathered so far from him. They were together for about 3 years before they go married. Things were great and after marriage, they were and are still happy. They are church going people so divorce would be a BIG problem. They are Christians, after they got married. He did say that their sex life had been on the decline before marriage. His wife had said sex is not that important to her.

His wife recently got a new job and has been very busy. Personally, I think this might the cause. I told my buddy that and he thinks also. But he said his wife is very focussed on her career and afraid only things will get worse...well not much worse since they're not having sex now

But, she is just busy at work. I asked him if his wife might have a "Fabio" on the side and he thinks not. She comes home after work and does nothing. They spend their free time together and no "weird" phone calls at strange hours. But this doesn't mean she's not having her pipes worked on doing working hours

I suggested he just wait and see for some time. Maybe his wife will get better. I don't think cheating would be a good idea though. It's too risky. And divorce would be the last resort. He said sex is VERY important in a relationship, I agree!!! So, this is big problem he has to face. I just hope for the best for them...

 

Right in da poopah!

 

So the sex life has already been on decline, huh?

This doesn't sound so good. Imagine spending potentially the rest of your life with someone like that...

A good P.I. would be able help with wiretaps and the like.

My gut feeling is that she's cheating, and I don't know if counseling can help. This is pretty early for a serious problem like this. Plus it's not even a year yet, you can still get the marriage enulled, don't even have to divorce.

WTH did he marry her if their sex was already on the decline??

I'm not a Christian, so I don't have any experience with feeling guilty because of Church membership & that kind of stuff. To me that doesn't matter one bit. I wouldn't think he owes the Church a damned thing.

I still think their communication blows....

 

Simply for the sake of enlightening messicanpizza I feel it necessary to note that the poopah is generally something the dude enjoys more than the chick...

Y'know how sometimes when you take a massive dump it actually hurts? Well imagine that turd hopping up out of the bowl and trying to wriggle its way back INTO your ***. Now imagine it hammering away for a good 30 minutes like that.

You can see now why many women have an aversion to takin' it in the coolo(sp?).

 

LMAO!!! but yeah although I voted for mistress, he should really sit down and talk to her...express his desire for a love life and the fact that although he supports her having a successful career that it is taking away from "them"...No job (unless you got the person you are cheating with is well worth it..lol jk) is worth risking your marriage....Your job should never consume your entire life...you need balance...and yes sex is important in a marriage..it not only helps relieve stress but heck everyone needs some hardcore loving

 

Actually, my buddy was a tiny bit concerned about the decline in bedroom activity before they got married. But he thought he's fine with 2-3 times a week. I guess they were more active before. But anyway, for his sake I hope she's not cheating on him.

I don't know if they have communicated a lot on this issue. But I totally think they should see a sex/marriage tharapist on this. The last time I talked to his wife, she did say she is very consumed with work. I suggested they take a vacation together when ever possible and she agreed.

Maybe like Mexicanpizza said, my buddy is not "doing a good job". I don't know, as far as he knows their sex is good and she does enjoy it very much. But all girls are liers anyway. j/k... I know a lot are.

 

I seriously could not imagine having sex as little as 2-3 times/week, but then again, I am 25...

I hope your buddy didn't wait too long to have a little "hear to heart" with her.

 

this is that all-important "communication" thing...

Emma and I both used to work 120+ hrs./week when we ran the restaurant, but we still made adjustments, whatever we had to do, to make it work.

But then, we were working together, so the stress was from being around each-other 24/7...

 

OK, here's my 5¢ :
First of all, a Marriage is about GIVE AND TAKE...the door swings BOTH WAYS....She says sex is NOT that important to her!?!?!? OK FINE...but a marriage is NOT supposed to be ONE SIDED....what about HIS needs? HE says that sex IS very important......well...why the HELL doesnt SHE take better care of her man and address HIS needs? Why does HE ALWAYS have to make the compromises for HER, yet she cant make any for HIM? thats FUBARED UP BIGTIME in my book. Sometimes you have to do things that you dont really wanna do, but if it makes your partner happy, or is something that your partner needs, or feels is important in a relationship...then a compromise needs to be made. The Wife should NOT have THAT kind of control over any relationship....THATS BS if you ask me!

On the other hand.....she says she is very tired from work at her new job....cool, fine...whatever....but he says, that she comes home from work and does nothing......hmmmmm, ok....soooo, that sounds like a pretty good time for some good loving to me....a nice stress relief after a hard day at the office.....works for me....I dont believe she is cheating...but it sounds like the relationship is VERY one sided...and when you take the sacred vowes of marriage....you agree to support eachother, and help eachother in times of need, which yes, does INCLUDE SEX. I believe there is a saying in the actual marriage ceremony that goes something like, "you will not walk ahead of her, nor will she walk ahead of you....but they will walk through life TOGETHER SIDE BY SIDE......" or something along those lines.....the words are different but the point is the same...

ok, I could go on and on about this one.....so I am gonna stop before I write a novel....but that is my general opinion and I will probably think of more to say, but that is basically the point I wanted to get a cross.

-Ted

EDIT:
I didnt vote because I dont feel that any of the options are good....I would say try and work it out, but make damn sure SHE knows that SHE needs to compromise JUST AS MUCH as HE does, and a relationship is about BOTH of you, NOT just HER.....




Weird.......I just had De-Ja-Vu.....

 

werd...

 

anyone else here think that we take divorce so lightly nowadays? what ever happened to the sacred vow to work things out through thick and thin?

maybe i'm just old fashion

db

 

so what is your friend doing for his wife to comfort her about her new job and stress? women under stress will not feel like having sex, not like a man. a man is always ready whenever. we all don't know the full details of the situation, he wants it, she doesn't, but is he doing anything to help her in the new job? maybe she is bored with the same old thing?

its like almost every relationship, in the beginning they always got presents or little things here and there because you were still trying to win her heart, and now that u have it, u stop doing all those little things, like flowers, or going out on dates. women will always want that feeling of being wanted and persued, and when they stop, so will she.

tell your friend to try it out. do something he used to do with his wife that he did in the beginning stages of the relationship. it might just work.