Sorry, weird post but a buddy of my is going through this...

His wife is now cold as a freezer, she has NO interest what so ever in SEX...

She says she still and always loves him (who knows), and she does not want to leave him. She works a lot and always has work on her mind. But they do spend their times together happily...just no or verrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy little sex.

If you were my buddy, would you stay?

 

how old are they?

edit: its the guys fault btw... dont ask why, thats just the way it works.

 

Well, they are 33 (guy) and 28 (girl). And he tells me that their sex life was pretty good before they got married...maybe a few time a week when they get the chance.

They've been married for almost a year now and she lost interest in it. He said she's very busy at work and it occupies her time a lot, she thinks about it even after work.

 

This is a tricky one.. so i didn't vote


I'd stay longer to see if things get better in a month or two. Maybe treat her by getting a room in Tahoe of SF. Then if things get bad turn to counseling, then possible seperation and divorce


If things work out, GREAT!

If not then it's time to do a little digging. Sounds like she could be financially comfortable with him but at the same time is getting banged by fabio, you know what i mean!? she "loves" him because he's bringing home the bacon... someone else is bringin' her the goods

Same crap happened to my sister about 6 months ago expect she was in your buddies shoes.

 

 

This is a no-brainer. Best friends are what wives are for, especially if they have good times together (and it sounds that way). Mistresses are just that, good times with no strings. Just make sure that the mistress is on-board too. There are good books out there about it too. ;-)

Truthfully, this is a tough situation. Obviously it's high on the guy's priority list, but not the gals... Keep us posted, and much luck.

 

How long were they together before they got married?

Sounds like she's going elsewhere for the sauzage.

OTW, she's just turning into a cold fish, and he ought to either look elsewhere for action, or just get the marriage enulled.

She's not "consumating" the marriage, and if its this bad less than a year after getting married, imagine what bad shape he will be seven years from now, at which point he will owe alimony should they get divorced after that.

You'd be surprised how many women change for the worst once they get married.

If your buddy really really wants to look into "whats going on", my GF is a private chef for a very successful Private Investigator, who specializes in these cases.

I personally would end it right now. She's def. either cheating, or she's the type that changes for the worst after getting married, and this happening so early on in the marriage is a seriously bad omen. I don't think counselling could help them now, with what I suspect is going on.

David

 

i vote for counseling first. work as much as possible.

NEVER EVER cheat... that will ruin you and others.

IMO, marriage is an out of date thing these days. used to be in the old days, parents wanted to get rid of their daughter by getting them married.

these days, women are more independent than ever. why marry when you can remain monogamous with someone and if that relationship turns sour, you can make a nice break and start over.

from what you gave as an example, it seems that the woman's career has taken the top most priority. and if she is having an affair, even worse.

i just hope the couple does not have any children.

 

I agree with you about the fading purpose of marriage these days.

But sometimes married couples have only a financial relationship, and mutually accept looking elsewhere for nookie...

 

d00d shes 28. that prime time for women in their sex lives...if she aint gettin none at home i can almost gaurantee you shes gettin it elsewhere. this is coming from a divorcee whos wife had been cheating on him for 8mos. same thing happened to me...i wasnt gettin any but she "does and will always love me" then BOOM when i come back from TDY shes 4mos pregnant...when i was gone TDY for 6mos. ok maybe this may not be the case, wont always be...but a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do

josh

 

mebbe i'm old fashioned, but i actually think marriage is a sacred thing and shouldn't be so easily ended. it's about sacrifices and learning how to deal with each other.
personally, i would wait till she's not bogged down with so much work and see wut happens then. sometimes girls can forget about *ahem* when their mind is too preoccupied... (from a girl's perspective: she probably is just too tired from work!)
cheating would be a HUGE no no.. and leaving would be the last thing i'd turn to...
best of luck in their relationship!
-bbsmurf

 

this is when you become best friends with your right hand again...
but i dont think they should get a divorce just because of this. it doesnt seem like a good enough reason. they still care/love each other dont they?
and if all else fails, get her drunk...spike her drinks.
j/k

 

I didn't answer the poll and I didn't read any of the other posts, but...I would say marriage shrink (counselor) 1st for the both of them. Espically if they arn't really talking about it. Communication is a must. If they can't come to a agreement then then he should get out. Having a mistress just dosen't seem like a real marriage IMO.

If there are any kids involved then they really need to think about things before making any rash or quick decisions.

Just don't start sneeking around. Marriage is supose to be about honesty and openness. If you don't have that along with trust you don't have much.

Again this is just MHO and seeing it 1st hand from one of my friends. His ended in the big 'D'.

 

Yes it time to become best friends with his right hand.

This is funny because I have a female friend (age 25) that always wants to have sex with her boyfriend, but he doesn't want to.? She doesn't know what to do because it seems like she needs it. But they are still together because the care about each other.

If he needs sex so badly that he willing to cheat on her, then it’s best to separate.

Just my opinion.

 

Maybe homeboy just needs to learn how to hit it correctly.

Communication can solve virtually every problem in a relationship. He needs to plan out something to get her attention and guarantee himself a piece. Then when he gets to the gettin a piece part, he needs to make damn sure that she's gettin hers too. He's gotta point blank ask her if there's something he can do to make it more enjoyable for her.

If she's not, then what motivation does she have for doing it again. She might be gettin' it elsewhere alright, but it's probably just from her vibrator.

Dont you people ever listen to Love Lines?!

Seriously, good luck to "your buddy" but communication and trust will solve this problem.

-Alan