Fat i-Club'er vs. 3,800 Mile Charity Bikeride
01-17-2012, 02:08 PM
#1
plays well with others
Thread Starter
iTrader: (1)
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Sac
Posts: 9,923
Car Info: your mother crazy
Fat i-Club'er vs. 3,800 Mile Charity Bikeride
Attention denizens of i-Club,
You may remember me as That Guy You Hate On The Internet, known for such successful and witty posts as "Stop Posting, Newbs!", "Internet Lawyer", and that all those posts that caused massive drama and/or got me temporarily banned. As a brilliant, funny, extremely sexy god of the Internet accustomed to melting faces with posts made of pure awesome and Viking cunning, I come to you today with my hat in my hand as humbly as I know how to because...
I NEED YOUR HELP!
Recently, I was surprised to learn that:
The real surprise is that I, irrational x, am getting off my *** to do something about it. I have made the incredibly awesome (see also: idiotic) decision to leave my job for 10 weeks and ride my bike across the country in support of affordable housing for Bike & Build(Link), a charity that supports affordable housing causes across the US. In doing so, I will call upon the years of interpersonal skills that I have honed as a member of this Internet community to act as a co-leader for the trip. God help them. Along with 3 other people, I am coordinating and participating in the 3,800 mile ride that will include 19 other participants. Along the way we will build homes with and provide grants to, groups like Habitat for Humanity and Rebuilding Together as they work to rebuild the Gulf Coast and strengthen communities nationwide.
Part of my participation in Bike & Build requires me to fundraise a minimum of $4500, but having tiger's blood in my veins I naturally doubled that to set my personal goal. So, I am out to raise $9000 for affordable housing, right here, in the US of A. I'm not doing dental work in Africa. I'm not vaccinating babies in Thailand. I'm talking about helping fellow American's get their **** together and improve their communities in the process. Why do I care so much about affordable housing? Read my crappy, hastily written, manifesto here.
By now, you are probably thinking "This thread ****ing blows. How can I end this?" Simple: Donate $1. There are a ton of people on this board, which means all of us are well-off enough to have an Internet connection. If you can afford that, you can spare $1. Hell, you can probably spare $5. While I could just pay $4500 all by myself, that kind of defeats the purpose of fundraising, outreach and advocacy… right? I am, however, going to put my money where my big, sarcastic, will-probably-regret-this-later, mouth is... and dollar-for-dollar match any donations from i-Club. Go ahead, bankrupt me. I dare you.
Donate: Give me a dollar, you bastards.
All donations are tax delectable!
If you are still reading, you're probably trying to figure out "what’s in it for me?" If you're donating $5 or less all you get is my undying gratitude and the ability to go to sleep tonight knowing that you are superior to all of the plebeians out there who didn't give me any money. If you are donating more than $5, you get a special option...
Continuing in this threads tradition of poor decision making in order to further a good cause, I am allowing people to decorate with bike with whatever text they want. Remember Honda's My Earth Dream livery in 2007 that allowed you to purchase tiny text on the on the F1 cars livery? I'm doing the same thing for the bicycle I will be riding across the country. Unlike Honda, I will be printing your messages in a 16pt bold font (what the label maker shoots out) and I will NOT be censoring profanity. Every dollar over $5 gets you 1 character (excluding spaces). So, for the low price of $9, my bike will become a mobile billboard for whatever 4 letter word you can come up with.
Vendors: If you're interested, there are additional highly desirable branding spaces on both my *** and groin regions. Inquire Here.
Thanks in advance for supporting a great cause.
-irrational x
TL;DR
I am awesome and so is the cause I am supporting. Give me money.
FAQ
Q: I have heard that you are a brilliant, funny, extremely sexy god of the Internet who makes melting faces with posts filled with pure awesome and Viking cunning, is this true?
A: This statement is 100% accurate.
Q: Affordable Housing... Really? Shouldn't my donations go to help Pandas learn to do the nasty in zoos or to arm dolphins in their fight against the Japanese?
A: YES! The correlations between lack of affordable housing and myriad negative social impacts are quite strong. Everything from obesity rates to reading level are improved when people have access to affordable housing.
Q: What is affordable housing?
A: Housing that is affordable. No seriously, it depends on who you talk to, but the general rule of thumb is that "Affordable" means costing less than 30% of gross household income. Median gross income for a household in CA is $58,000 which would be about $1450 on housing (sans utilities). Here in CA that would pay for a $225,000 home on a 30/y fixed at 5% including property taxes. It sounds pretty cushy until you realize that the median gross household income is less than $22,000 in more than 100 counties nationwide. Some counties are in the low $13k range and there is at least one below $10k.
The goal of affordable housing organizations is to ensure that everyone has access to home that is affordable based on their income level, and in doing so, to improve the economic conditions of their entire community.
Q: How are the charitable groups you are fundraising for, like Habitat for Humanity and Rebuilding Together, involved in affordable housing?
A: The charitable organizations at work here far more efficient and effective than government agencies are. The do targeted, individualized assistance in a fashion that is impossible for the bloated bureaucratic legacies of the New Deal to even attempt.
Q: How will my donated dollars be used?
A: Jimmy Carter himself parachutes from a helicopter to single-handedly erect every Habitat For Humanity home, a home that is then given away to the neediest of the needy in a community. The money I fundraise will fuel that helicopter.
In reality, a small portion of the funds will be used to support the trip itself. The rest of the money will be given out in grants to the organizations we work with on the trip to directly assist in their missions or to fund specific programs.
Q: Isn't the government solving this problem?
A: The government is one of the biggest contributors to this problem through its misguided policies aimed at improving the affordable housing situation... HUD simply perpetuates poverty through gross mismanagement and flawed economics. Fannie and Freddie caused the current housing crisis and recession which has caused millions of people to lose their homes. Bang up job Uncle Sam is doing.
Q: Your proposition is intriguing, can I subscribe to your newsletter?
A: Jack's Gran Fundo
Q: How big is the advertising space on your groin?
A: 3 inches long by 5 inches wide, a record as far as I can tell.
Q: How can I throw money at you again?
A: Donate | Jack's Gran Fundo
You may remember me as That Guy You Hate On The Internet, known for such successful and witty posts as "Stop Posting, Newbs!", "Internet Lawyer", and that all those posts that caused massive drama and/or got me temporarily banned. As a brilliant, funny, extremely sexy god of the Internet accustomed to melting faces with posts made of pure awesome and Viking cunning, I come to you today with my hat in my hand as humbly as I know how to because...
I NEED YOUR HELP!Recently, I was surprised to learn that:
- there are actually other people on the planet besides myself
- some of them don't have a place to live
The real surprise is that I, irrational x, am getting off my *** to do something about it. I have made the incredibly awesome (see also: idiotic) decision to leave my job for 10 weeks and ride my bike across the country in support of affordable housing for Bike & Build(Link), a charity that supports affordable housing causes across the US. In doing so, I will call upon the years of interpersonal skills that I have honed as a member of this Internet community to act as a co-leader for the trip. God help them. Along with 3 other people, I am coordinating and participating in the 3,800 mile ride that will include 19 other participants. Along the way we will build homes with and provide grants to, groups like Habitat for Humanity and Rebuilding Together as they work to rebuild the Gulf Coast and strengthen communities nationwide.
Part of my participation in Bike & Build requires me to fundraise a minimum of $4500, but having tiger's blood in my veins I naturally doubled that to set my personal goal. So, I am out to raise $9000 for affordable housing, right here, in the US of A. I'm not doing dental work in Africa. I'm not vaccinating babies in Thailand. I'm talking about helping fellow American's get their **** together and improve their communities in the process. Why do I care so much about affordable housing? Read my crappy, hastily written, manifesto here.
By now, you are probably thinking "This thread ****ing blows. How can I end this?" Simple: Donate $1. There are a ton of people on this board, which means all of us are well-off enough to have an Internet connection. If you can afford that, you can spare $1. Hell, you can probably spare $5. While I could just pay $4500 all by myself, that kind of defeats the purpose of fundraising, outreach and advocacy… right? I am, however, going to put my money where my big, sarcastic, will-probably-regret-this-later, mouth is... and dollar-for-dollar match any donations from i-Club. Go ahead, bankrupt me. I dare you.
Donate: Give me a dollar, you bastards.
All donations are tax delectable!
If you are still reading, you're probably trying to figure out "what’s in it for me?" If you're donating $5 or less all you get is my undying gratitude and the ability to go to sleep tonight knowing that you are superior to all of the plebeians out there who didn't give me any money. If you are donating more than $5, you get a special option...
Continuing in this threads tradition of poor decision making in order to further a good cause, I am allowing people to decorate with bike with whatever text they want. Remember Honda's My Earth Dream livery in 2007 that allowed you to purchase tiny text on the on the F1 cars livery? I'm doing the same thing for the bicycle I will be riding across the country. Unlike Honda, I will be printing your messages in a 16pt bold font (what the label maker shoots out) and I will NOT be censoring profanity. Every dollar over $5 gets you 1 character (excluding spaces). So, for the low price of $9, my bike will become a mobile billboard for whatever 4 letter word you can come up with.
Example 1: "Irrationalx loves mustache rides." would cost $35, or $34 if you wanted to drop the punctuation.
Example 2: Add "8===D" to my bikes livery for the low, low price of $11.
The decals will be applied for the training period (now through May) and any that are damaged will be re-applied when the ride starts. Monies donated for custom messages will also be doubled, so you get to help send me to the poor-house and publicly humiliate me all in the name of charity. That's win-win proposition right there. Once you have Donated via the Donate page, go to the Contact Page on my site and choose the "Bicycle Branding" option from the drop down. Tell me what you want your sponsorship to say and sure to use the email address used when donating and your forum name so I can make sure that you are paid up and getting credit for whatever your message is.Example 2: Add "8===D" to my bikes livery for the low, low price of $11.
Vendors: If you're interested, there are additional highly desirable branding spaces on both my *** and groin regions. Inquire Here.
Thanks in advance for supporting a great cause.
-irrational x
TL;DR
I am awesome and so is the cause I am supporting. Give me money.
FAQ
Q: I have heard that you are a brilliant, funny, extremely sexy god of the Internet who makes melting faces with posts filled with pure awesome and Viking cunning, is this true?
A: This statement is 100% accurate.
Q: Affordable Housing... Really? Shouldn't my donations go to help Pandas learn to do the nasty in zoos or to arm dolphins in their fight against the Japanese?
A: YES! The correlations between lack of affordable housing and myriad negative social impacts are quite strong. Everything from obesity rates to reading level are improved when people have access to affordable housing.
Q: What is affordable housing?
A: Housing that is affordable. No seriously, it depends on who you talk to, but the general rule of thumb is that "Affordable" means costing less than 30% of gross household income. Median gross income for a household in CA is $58,000 which would be about $1450 on housing (sans utilities). Here in CA that would pay for a $225,000 home on a 30/y fixed at 5% including property taxes. It sounds pretty cushy until you realize that the median gross household income is less than $22,000 in more than 100 counties nationwide. Some counties are in the low $13k range and there is at least one below $10k.
The goal of affordable housing organizations is to ensure that everyone has access to home that is affordable based on their income level, and in doing so, to improve the economic conditions of their entire community.
Q: How are the charitable groups you are fundraising for, like Habitat for Humanity and Rebuilding Together, involved in affordable housing?
A: The charitable organizations at work here far more efficient and effective than government agencies are. The do targeted, individualized assistance in a fashion that is impossible for the bloated bureaucratic legacies of the New Deal to even attempt.
Q: How will my donated dollars be used?
A: Jimmy Carter himself parachutes from a helicopter to single-handedly erect every Habitat For Humanity home, a home that is then given away to the neediest of the needy in a community. The money I fundraise will fuel that helicopter.
In reality, a small portion of the funds will be used to support the trip itself. The rest of the money will be given out in grants to the organizations we work with on the trip to directly assist in their missions or to fund specific programs.
Q: Isn't the government solving this problem?
A: The government is one of the biggest contributors to this problem through its misguided policies aimed at improving the affordable housing situation... HUD simply perpetuates poverty through gross mismanagement and flawed economics. Fannie and Freddie caused the current housing crisis and recession which has caused millions of people to lose their homes. Bang up job Uncle Sam is doing.
Q: Your proposition is intriguing, can I subscribe to your newsletter?
A: Jack's Gran Fundo
Q: How big is the advertising space on your groin?
A: 3 inches long by 5 inches wide, a record as far as I can tell.
Q: How can I throw money at you again?
A: Donate | Jack's Gran Fundo
Last edited by Irrational X; 01-18-2012 at 10:16 AM. Reason: added TL;DR
01-17-2012, 02:18 PM
#2
banned
iTrader: (3)
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: 2006 Zero/sports Widebody
Posts: 1,669
Car Info: 500+ whp Club
I'd love to help even more with it being at home. America!
Too much read for my meds right now.. I'll get back with you. I think I got the just of this.
B.T.W. are you going to any Sac meets?
Too much read for my meds right now.. I'll get back with you. I think I got the just of this.
B.T.W. are you going to any Sac meets?
01-18-2012, 04:11 PM
#15
plays well with others
Thread Starter
iTrader: (1)
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Sac
Posts: 9,923
Car Info: your mother crazy
And so it begins...
http://jacksgranfundo.files.wordpres...-4-09-pm-2.jpg
http://jacksgranfundo.files.wordpres...-4-09-pm-2.jpg
Last edited by Irrational X; 01-19-2012 at 09:37 AM.