Salty

iTrader: (14)

Let's say you were married to your wife after 40+ years and you died first. Odds are the man is going to go first anyways. So do you think it's reasonable to consider her (or you) getting remarried? Please give your your opinion and your wife's opinion as well.

Reason I ask is because my very close Grandad recently passed after 54 years of marriage. There's no way my Grandma would ever remarry but I wonder how I would feel if she did. My wife thinks it's okay... wtf?

The Score Is:

Me: NO

S.O.: YES

Max Xevious

iTrader: (8)

no way for me.. think of it this way

I don't care if you are religious or believe in some sort of afterlife, but how confusing would it be when you die and go to "wherever" and you have to worry about 3 wifes from al of your marriages

no thanks..

Salty

iTrader: (14)

I think that's a very good point and I'm agnostic partially for this reason. What if she remarries to find that I waited for her in the afterlife. How in the hell do you explain that one? Imagine how devastating that would be.

But then you'd have to assume that you could remarry in the afterlife. True, but all you can consider is your time here and the possibility of an immediate afterlife without the possibility of remarriage. If she got there to find out I remarried in the afterlife, then she'd have that life do to the same.

bassplayrr

iTrader: (9)

Add one to NO.

S.O. won't give a clear answer, so I must assume yes. :/

pbchief2

iTrader: (3)

No. You already made it thru life with one partner, and you want to try it again. At least thats my grandfathers reason when I asked him the other day.

jvick125

iTrader: (2)

Yes, because I'm looking at it this way. My grandfather was married to his wife for 35+ years. I'm not sure exactly because my grandmother passed 3 or 4 years before I was born. But anyway, people at that age (about 70) that are single, are most likely in the same boat (widow/widower). So I say yes, because it is used more for the comfort factor rather than the true love factor that we look at it as. Old people don't want to die alone, that's why they still date. It's not for the sex, it's for the companionship. They've already gone through all the other bullcrap, they just want to be happy and be with someone. If that makes sense.

Sorry, I'm not married, so I have no S.O.'s opinion to give, but I know my mom feels that same way. Even then, if my father passed away, I'd be a bit concerned if my mom wasn't at least started dating 5 years later.

Furthermore, Salty and Xev, looking down from 'where ever' would you want to watch your S.O. be so lonely and moap around and be depressed or happy and having fun with someone? Even then, if that person is also a widow/widower, don't you think they'd go to their first husband/wife (or true love) once they made it there too?

RussB

iTrader: (2)

^^^ and you could hook up in the afterlife with the deceased spouse of whoever your widow / widower is currently boinking.

ipozestu

iTrader: (18)

I may, my wife might. Her father passed about 5 yrs ago. Her mother is very lonely. I kind of wish she'd find someone and move on. Even to this day, she spouts about her husband. Ok she loved him, but is it right to spend the rest of your life in mourning? I'd hope that my wife would look for happiness.

Salty

iTrader: (14)

Good points. And i've thought of them too. It's more of an honor thing for me. I know i'd be as content with myself with a beer in my hand, a dip in the lip, and a rod in the other if I lost my wife after a lengthy, meaningful marriage. Sure, I may be somewhat lonely but at least I went out knowing that nobody could ever replace her in any way, shape, or form. My memories and the idea we'd meet again would be enough. To me it wouldn't feel right being with another women on that level. But when I say that she thinks i'm pushing my views on her and says i'm being selfish. Women.

And then I leveled with her by saying that her happiness is what matters and if that meant moving on after a lengthy, meaningful marriage, then fine. And when I meet her in the afterlife with her new mate, i'd be happy for her but not entirely happy. Honestly, how could you be? Again with the "you're being selfish" crap. Maybe i'll throw the "first love" angle into the debate.

Salty

iTrader: (14)

Mourning is not the answer but happiness is in the eye of the beholder. It all depends on where she could find happiness. It doesn't need to be with another man. It could be with a friend, family, a dog, looking back on happy memories, etc. Some widows live meaningful, happy lives without ever meeting another person.

jvick125

iTrader: (2)

This is where I think you're looking at it from the wrong point. You're not looking for a replacement, you're looking for a companion. And at that age, I believe that's what everyone who has lost their long-term S.O. is looking for. There is that understanding that the person they're dating/marrying is not a replacement. They know that in the semi-short time they have left that they will not be able to have the same connections that they did with their long-term someone.

Salty

iTrader: (14)

I see.

HellaDumb

iTrader: (3)

My current opinion is that Wifes/husbands are earthly companions and death breaks that bond. I would want my wife to be happy and secure and if that meant marriage then so be it. I don't think she'd remarry, but if my kids were grown and out of the house I might. Everybody's different I guess.

We have a running deal that if either of us die that we'd stay single and dedicated to raise the kids until they are up and out, but waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down the road...who knows

Kevin M

iTrader: (12)

I agree with this. If I were married for a long, long time, I would approve of my widow eventually re-marrying.

gpatmac

iTrader: (3)

No way!