No I will not fix your computer.

 

+1.

 

Women are evil.

 

Do not eat at BJ's in Folsom.

 

perfectly acceptable comments from your IT support person:

"I don't know."

"hmm..."

"give me some time to figure this one out."

"I put a ticket in. It's up to them, now."

"That is pending approval."

"my phone/pager must have died."

"I could do that for you, but then I would have to do it for everyone."

"no you cannot have a flat panel."

"welcome to microsoft."

"reboot."

 

Those are my lines.

 

ditto

 

God I'm glad you guys don't work at my company.

Me: "Hey Ray, I think I accidentially locked myself out of the windows login domain. Can you check that?"
Ray: "You dumbass, let me fix that for you"

 

sigh... he doesn't even make you work for it a little?

 

No, he knows his place.

 

Oh snaps! Like that?

I'd lock you out of every database you had access to.

 

Psha, hell no.

We don't give the IT guys access to Databases. We control that ourselves.

 

:rotfl:

"I'm not sure what happened. Looks like you lost all rights on the network. I'll fix it as soon as it gets approved. I need an email from your manager, then it goes to my manager, then I'll send it on to the network guy."

 

"what did you do?"

"nothing"

"nothing changed on our end... what did you do?"

"nothing I swear!"

"you didn't load any software or change any settings?"

"oh... well..."

"yeah."

 

Hehe, no, I screwed my own permissions up. It was because I wrote a program that authenticates over the windows network login, then while I was debugging I accidentially sent like 10 auth requests over the network with bad passwords. Automatic lockdown of my account commenced shortly thereafter.

Like I said, he called me a dumbass.