Joke thread!!
03-20-2009, 12:06 PM
#32
-What's brown and white and flops on the beach?
A Filipino and a seagull fighting over a fish!
-What's the difference between select and choose ??
Select is when you pick out something...choose is what Filipinos wear on their feet !!!
-What do you get when you cross a Filipino & Hawaiian?
Somebody who loves to clean yard but no more land.
A Filipino and a seagull fighting over a fish!
-What's the difference between select and choose ??
Select is when you pick out something...choose is what Filipinos wear on their feet !!!
-What do you get when you cross a Filipino & Hawaiian?
Somebody who loves to clean yard but no more land.
03-22-2009, 12:26 AM
#36
A visiting Filipino was in New York City and it was a particularly windy day. He was standing by a bus stop when the wind blew and raised the skirt of a nice American lady standing near him.
He smiled at her (wanting to make conversation) and said, "It's hairy, isn't it?" (What he meant to say was that it was "airy" - mahangin or windy)
The American lady got mad and hit him with her umbrella and said, "Well, what did you expect - feathers?!"
He smiled at her (wanting to make conversation) and said, "It's hairy, isn't it?" (What he meant to say was that it was "airy" - mahangin or windy)
The American lady got mad and hit him with her umbrella and said, "Well, what did you expect - feathers?!"
03-22-2009, 02:18 AM
#37
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How do you know you're not local?
If you say, "No worry, Beef Curry" EXACTLY the way i spelt it.
Also if you say stuff like "You're so... LOWLOW.
Or One big MOWKE is chasing me...
AHAHAHA
Oh one more- If you sound like barbie sneezing when you say CHEEHEWW
If you say, "No worry, Beef Curry" EXACTLY the way i spelt it.
Also if you say stuff like "You're so... LOWLOW.
Or One big MOWKE is chasing me...
AHAHAHA
Oh one more- If you sound like barbie sneezing when you say CHEEHEWW
03-22-2009, 11:15 PM
#41
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What is the difference between hookers and drug dealers?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it
.Why are there no Wal-Marts in Iraq?
'Cause everything's a Target.
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it
.Why are there no Wal-Marts in Iraq?
'Cause everything's a Target.
Last edited by alienbreed69; 03-22-2009 at 11:40 PM.
03-22-2009, 11:19 PM
#42
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Two homeless guys are in front of a posh resturant. One guy has his pants down around his ankles, the other has his index finger stuck in his buddies rectum. Needles to say the patrons and owner are very taken back by this, so the owner calls the cops. The beat cop comes around to asses the situation and asks the fellow, "Why do you have your finger stuck in you buddies rectum like that?" The homeless guy replies, "Well officer, my friend here has had too much to drink and I'm trying to make him throw up." The cop, somewhat flustered says, "You're never going to make him throw up with your finger up his ***!" The guy quips, "Yeah, I know, but you just wait till I turn him around and stick it in his mouth."
03-22-2009, 11:28 PM
#43
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There was a guy who had been having chronic trouble in trying to get an erection. After weeks of frustration, he finally breaks down and goes to the doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough examination and finally makes the diagnosis.
"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," she says. "The bad news is that the muscles around your ***** are deteriorating, and there is no cure."
The guy, on the verge of panic, finally regains his composure.
"So what's the good news?" he asks.
The doctor says, "There is an experimental treatment available, but there are no guarantees. It involves transplanting the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk into your *****. Would you like to try it?"
The guy thinks about it and finally says, "Well, the thought of going through life without being able to have sex is just too much for me. What have I got to lose? Let's do it."
So the doctor performs the operation.
A few weeks later, the guy takes his girlfriend out to a nice restaurant to celebrate his new equipment. While sitting at the table, he feels a stirring between his legs; it gets progressively worse until it reaches the point of being painful.
Seeking relief, he reaches down and unzips his fly to relieve some of the pressure.
Suddenly, his ***** leaps free from his pants, slides over the tabletop and grabs a dinner roll, then returns to his pants again.
"Wow!" says his stunned girlfriend, "That was impressive! Can you do that again?"
Eyes watering and face flushed, he says, "Probably...But I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ***!"
"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," she says. "The bad news is that the muscles around your ***** are deteriorating, and there is no cure."
The guy, on the verge of panic, finally regains his composure.
"So what's the good news?" he asks.
The doctor says, "There is an experimental treatment available, but there are no guarantees. It involves transplanting the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk into your *****. Would you like to try it?"
The guy thinks about it and finally says, "Well, the thought of going through life without being able to have sex is just too much for me. What have I got to lose? Let's do it."
So the doctor performs the operation.
A few weeks later, the guy takes his girlfriend out to a nice restaurant to celebrate his new equipment. While sitting at the table, he feels a stirring between his legs; it gets progressively worse until it reaches the point of being painful.
Seeking relief, he reaches down and unzips his fly to relieve some of the pressure.
Suddenly, his ***** leaps free from his pants, slides over the tabletop and grabs a dinner roll, then returns to his pants again.
"Wow!" says his stunned girlfriend, "That was impressive! Can you do that again?"
Eyes watering and face flushed, he says, "Probably...But I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ***!"
