best salesman ever

Old Oct 18, 2011 | 11:29 PM
  #1  
Not/Available's Avatar
Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 106
From: USA
Car Info: Impreza 2006
best salesman ever

Skyline! 1990 GTSt
Old Oct 18, 2011 | 11:51 PM
  #2  
PSBeachBum's Avatar
Registered User
iTrader: (11)
 
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,106
From: Red Hill
Car Info: my wife crazy with buying parts
That was a joy to read. Might have ta go stateside with 5g's of money I don't own!
Old Oct 19, 2011 | 02:08 AM
  #3  
Walleye1974's Avatar
Registered User
iTrader: (2)
 
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 255
From: Schofield is work Ewa Beach is home
Car Info: Drochthuarach ( look it up lol ) wrx
thats fricken hilareous...but ill use it for the time travel more than out running 24 cop cars and 3 helicopters lol....creative very creative
Old Oct 19, 2011 | 09:36 AM
  #4  
Hoofus's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 487
From: USA
Car Info: subaru legacy, 01 4eat
This isn't your normal skyline. This motherfcker is the skyline God would drive if he wasn't busy doing God sh*t like making tsunamis and crap. Its set up to go fast, and go fast sideways. Who doesn't like to get sideway?! Terrorists, thats who. Are you a terrorist? No? Then you need this car.

Handling? This car handles like a junior executive CEO. Go around corners like the devil himself is chasing you, and not give a fck.

Whats that? You like drifting? Well I've got some great god d@mn news for you. This car was a drift project of mine, and the last owner was planning on making it a drift machine too. Interior is for pussies so we got rid of it. Manly as fck. It literally oozes testosterone. So much so that its puddling up in the back.

Seats? this ******cker has got two. One for you, and one for the hot @ss broad thats gunna be all upons your dick after you buy this car. You're a girl? Sh*t works both ways. One seat for you, and one seat for that hot @ss dude you've been trying to hook up with for weeks. Deal with it,sh*ts getting serious.

Stereos and AC are for hippies. Fortunately this car has neither. Oh look at me, I like listen to Simon and Garfunkel and think about puppies. F*ck that. The only noises you're gunna be hearing is the ultra manly engine noises coming from this sweet turbocharged, intercooled, 24 valve inline 6. Sh*ts getting real, real f*cking fast.

This car has got a bright orange ebrake handle (b*tches love orange) with a drift button for those super ultra megahellatastic bar room brawler ebrake lockers. F*ck. Yes.

Now, I'll be honest. The wheels are a little lackluster, although everyones gunna be so focused on your super gangster drifting that nobody is going to give a f*ck about your sh*tty stock 16s. Don't worry, I've got you fcking covered. Its like we're in Vietnam and you just got ambushed by Charlie. Don't worry, friend, I've got your fcking back and I blow charlie to kingdom fcking come. For an extra $450 I can throw in some added p*ssy magnets for wheels, just don't come crawling back to me complaining that you're getting TOO much vajayjay. Bright fcking green 18s. Greens not your thing? Super legit silver 18s. Done like dinner.

This car has got 1.5 metric f*ck tons of awesome parts. Bride, Greddy, Brembo, the list doesn't f*cking END. It just keeps going and going, like the energizer bunny on speed.

You like going fast? Ever tried to outrun 24 police cars and 3 helicopters? You need this car. It will go so fcking fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was fcking rad. Its like someone took a rocket and opened its mouth and poured steroids down its throat and and threatened to kill its family if it wasn't the fastest motherfcker you've ever driven.

I get it. You're busy, I'm busy, lets not waste time. If you're interested send me a message and I'll get back to you ASAP. You send me a message, I send you one right back. Thats how this works.
Surprised it took you guys this long to find... but yeah good stuff, I think I'll use this when I go to sell my car.
Old Oct 19, 2011 | 01:16 PM
  #5  
sigterm's Avatar
Registered User
iTrader: (4)
 
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,079
From: Isle of Man
Car Info: CGM Crumpled Beer Can
awesome *cough* work reading material. *cough*

good find
Old Oct 19, 2011 | 03:57 PM
  #6  
Ditchhanger's Avatar
Staff Member
iTrader: (16)
 
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 3,644
From: She's so hot, I'd tongue-punch her in the fartbox
Car Info: 2001 RSTi Widebody
This is almost as good as the guy trying to sell the Miata months ago...same guy maybe or a copycat? In any sense, funny as all ****!
Old Oct 21, 2011 | 09:19 AM
  #7  
Not/Available's Avatar
Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 106
From: USA
Car Info: Impreza 2006
it sounds like the guys from epic mealtime wrote it
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
JelloChex
Bay Area
18
Nov 16, 2011 04:35 PM
SwtAzn_WRX_gurl
Bay Area
44
Mar 5, 2004 04:11 PM
skoobieblue
Hawaii
1
Dec 23, 2003 01:27 AM
4080wrx
Hawaii
3
Dec 5, 2003 12:13 AM
gbmotorsports
Bay Area
31
Jun 9, 2003 11:54 PM


Thread Tools
Search this Thread

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:46 PM.