Check the pivot bolt that holds the shift lever in place, it may be overtightened. It is only supposed to be tightened to about 8 ft-lbs. which isn't much, basically that is just snug with a small ratchet or box wrench. If it's too tight the shifter will feel tighter and notchier than it really is. Also make sure the bushings the bolt passes through (on the lever) are lubricated.
As for first and reverse, those are normal characteristics for these transmissions. Reverse is a non-synchronized gear so it will often be difficult to get into. Most cannot shift easily into first while moving, some can for whatever reason but you really don't need first above a few MPH anyway.
Different fluids may help with some of the shifting issues and there is plenty of info and debate on the topic here, on NASIOC and elsewhere.

 

my 04 seemed that way at first too, but after awhile the transmission has broken in and it feels much better, but im pretty sure it was gone within the first 8k.

one thing i did do was change my gear oil at 7500, maybe thats what made the difference