Warning: VERY LONG:

I have an amazing friend. She's female and I rarely have female friends, so that says a lot about her.

Daniel and I went over to her house tonight. She's telling me about this guy she was on a date with last night. He's a PI, even gave her a business card. They've hung out before and he's talked with her about his job. He told her about some assignment he's going to be on in SF next month where he's going to be investigating a potential cocaine trafficing involving a pizza joint and some Iranian dude. He told her a ton of details about himself and his job. They've been talking for 3 weeks.

She was recounting all of this to Daniel and I with much excitement, as she always gets crapped on by guys. We were hella happy for her and asked her more questions. That's when she handed me the business card.

I'm a naturally inquizitive *****, so I question EVERYTHING. I see a business card that's not properly vertically aligned on the paper. That makes me think, "Okay, obviously not a high-quality investigative firm." Then I read it. First off, it's an acronym name *** Investigations. (remember this for later)

Then, I see that "Suite" is missing the "e." A typo on a business card that's not centered for a PI. Now I'm very suspicious and start asking her more questions about him. Turns out that she was curious about his name. He gave her two different ones. The one on his business card is B_____ M_____. She sees his driver's license and it says B_______ M________ G_________. She questioned him about it and he says, "What? You don't believe my name is B______ M_____?? I'm telling you, that's what it is!" Even though his driver's license had another (last) name on it. Odd. HRRRM.

Let's look up his company. No records anywhere on the internet. No phone number, no anything. The email address on the card? A chinese website is the registrant of the domain. They don't host emails. The email address doesn't exist anywhere on the internet (Okay, he could just never have typed it anywhere on the net, that's cool). No email addresses with this domain (which is also completely uninvolved in email hosting or web hosting, btw - translated it had NO connections).

Okay, gets better. The phone number on the business card is a cell number. It's not listed as a cell phone on the card. Kind of odd that a cell number would be the *only* number listed for an "operations manager."

So, the kicker on the card? I looked for the address on the web. Doesn't exist. No web search finds it whatsoever, for any business. Since there was a suite number listed, there had to be other suites, right? It wasn't likely that none of them would have a listing ANYWHERE on the internet (phone directories, ads, ANYTHING)... So, I gave him that possibility. Then I mapquested it. The address didn't exist. Straight up, didn't exist. SO, I thought, sure, maybe mapquest thinks that street is shorter than it really is. I clicked on the image. The only street with that name in the entire city ends at 600. His street number was four digits. If you extrapolate the street, his address would be directly in the SF bay.

Ooh, you'd think that would be enough?? WELL, IT'S NOT.

She shows me his myspace page for more investigating. He lists a Bachelor's degree in Criminology in 2000. So, sure, I go look at a commencement listing for that year. Under no derivation of his name is there an entry. So, I try the surrounding years. Nope, no degree from that university whatsoever. Cool!

Then, the chode signs on to Yahoo. I message him acting as my friend (using no pronunciation and little capitalization). I ask him what the acronym stands for. He tells me. I then search for that company name. Nothing. Remember how I said to note the acronym in the name? Well, the middle word of the acronym is Investigation. That would mean that the name literally came out to _____ Investigation ______ Investigations. Not too likely. And, the only entry listed in phone books for investigation firms with the same starting letter? Nope, not his company.

So, he still thinks I'm my friend. I ask him if his company has a website. He assures me there is no site. I play stupid and say, "but you have an email address for your company? isn't there a site for that?" He starts getting curious why I'm asking. I play it off like she's drunk and just trying to show him off to her friends who are over. Curiosity fades. I ask him another question. This time it's about vicodin, which he told her he was on the previous night. I ask him how high of a dose his vicodin is. He says, "Strong." Doesn't give a dose. Anyone who's a regular taker of vicodin (and as obviously intelligent as this guy is) would know that there's always a 5/500 or similar dosing to describe the strength. He told her he takes it all the time and is always messed up on it.


Enough of that...
I then tell him I'm me. So, I ask him about his company and whatnot. He responds with quick, flippant answers. I tell him I want to get into PI work and that's why I'm asking. I ease into asking him where his company is, telling him that I saw the business card and I mapquested it, and it would be somewhere in the middle of the bay.


Instead of disputing the address on the card, telling me it might be a typo or ANYTHING... He immediately calls me a creepy stalker. I tell him that I thought his job sounded really cool and I wanted to go talk to them at the office about getting on with them. He gets pissed and asks me for MY address so that he can stalk *ME*. I play it off telling him the same old story about just being curious about his job.


Then I ask him why there's no phone number listed online or any online presence for his company... He says that they're contracted by the government and other agencies directly, implying that they don't need an online presence or public number. OOOOKAAAAAAAYYYYYY.


Then he gets mad at me for calling him a PI, because he doesn't do PI work. Then I question what he does, saying something about how what he does is just a glorified PI position - even getting him to admit that 45% of his job is surveillance and "investigating." !@!!_)$)!(&*$)(*!&$


So, when I can tell he's getting eerily upset/threatened by me.... (Keep in mind the only thing he knows that I know is the address is bunk and there's no online presence) I say, "isn't investigating just a paid stalker?" He said something about it being creepy unless you get paid to do it. :P He then calls me creepy again and tells me he's going to lay down and signs off abruptly. The whole conversation was *maybe* 30 lines and not in an accusing fashion, yet he was CLEARLY uncomfortable with it.

Before I talked to him as me, we invited him over... it was clear that he only wanted to spend time with our friend. (He told us he was too ****ed up on vicodin to drive....haha)(yeah, ONE vicodin).


Okay, I've rambled enough, here's the obligatory:

IBwhydoesitmatterthathe______?,what'swithallthe___ 's?,where'shisinfo?,etc.



Disclaimer:

Yes, some of the points/things I discovered were not significant alone, and could entirely be a coincidence. I do not discredit the possibility of him being genuine and honest. I did not tell him all of my evidence, as I did not want to help him become a wiser liar for future conquests - god only knows what this obvious psychopath does with the women he lures with his amazing career. Yes, I blabber.



CN: Friend meets guy on internet who claims to be SUPER PI!!! I find NUMEROUS reasons to believe he's full of ****. Good times ensue!

 

dang...wierd...

 

ummm is your friend hot?

pixs please...

 

I'd say he's too ****ed up to socialize with, sounds like a real shady cat- I'd start checking "America's most wanted", you might find everything you need to know about him there

 

Not trying stand up for the guy nor your other clues, but I'm associated with a new facitility, it is a campus facility and it has 4 bldings on the campus with dozens of suites. NONE of them are listed on any map program or with the PD or even the FD and more importantly for business are they listed with the phone company!

This has made getting service very hard....I know they will be listed some day, but honestlly, constrution completed over a year ago!

Bad business cards mean he either works for himself out of his home/garage or he's a fake. I've seen both, but his DL is his real ID almost for certain.

Your friend must be cute.

Good job.

 

Yeah, she is, actually, quite hot.

And, if you want pics, I'm doing a vigorous screening effort. hahahha

 

Yeah, I thought that it was a possibilty, also, that it was to protect the secrecy of the company. But, the address isn't listed on any mapping software because...
You know the block system? How one street doesn't just jump from 101 SuchNSuch Street to 29998 SuchNSuch street without a change in the directional flow (north, south, east, west) or a change in the street type (court, terrace, lane, ave, etc). The street he listed was literally only 5 blocks long. No other street exists in the SF bay area with that name. If you took the address and extrapolated its location based on the block system, he'd be in the middle of the bay. No mapping program needed to tell me that.

The rest of the signs were too much to ignore.

 

UPDATES:

She is arguing with him right now on yahoo regarding his name. He swears that the last part is just his father's last name and that if she married him, her last name would be the name listed on his business card.
Odd, considering he has THREE names listed on his DL. We all know how often those are fakes. *blink, blink*

Even better, guys...
She just sent me his resume. (He sent it to her in his defense of his bull**** stories)
I looked up the most recent job. Doesn't exist. The company doesn't exist. Only thing it could be is loss prevention for a store (with a similar name), in which case his description of job details is a complete fabrication.

He lists a ton of organizations that he belongs to. All of them are either payed membership for anyone who states they belong to a company, or they're free to loss prevention employees. One of them even strictly forbids PIs from joining. I'm thinking the douche is a loss prevention employee at a store.

--------------------------------------
Now that I have his hotmail address, I did a search for that. I found a member on a loss prevention board. Here is a post by him:
"Posted 11/12/2004 4:42 PM (GMT -5)
Teams I am looking for an internal investigations checklist. If you were to walk into a new store or case what steps would you take to find a merchandise internal?

If you have an actual checklist could you please email me a copy to play with. "

Sounds like he's not too up on his chosen profession. (at least he wasn't a year ago, when he was supposedly: "Investigator for Over 150 Fortune 500 companies and government agencies")

 

Mikkito, looks like your investigating the non-investigator who is an impostigator than just got pwned

 

hAHAHAHAH.... Impostigator!(*$&!@(*&(!#*&)(!*$&()*@&

HAHAHAHAHHA

Dude, now he's sending her pictures of him and his "team" dressed up and carrying heat.
Are PIs allowed to carry heat??? In california?

I asked her... "Does he look any different than daniel and friends dressed up in gear to play airsoft???"
hahahhahahh No name badges or badges of any sort.

 

resume and W2's from the past 5 years good enough????? lol....

 

No. There's a 1000$ application fee and that doesn't guarantee that you'll make it past the screening.

 

$1,000,000 question, has she been sleeping with him?



Good job, you actually found out what he is, not just what he isn't.

 

damn... just want a pixs... not a marriage proposal...



LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL

 

so what now? Your friend still dating him?