You might want to get a second opinion on the tubes if his canals are small because they waited until i was in the third grade to put mine in and it wasn't until then i could hear correctly. When you have small canals or ear infections problems every sounds weird. The only way to simulate it is watch TV while covering your ears with your hands really fast. It took then so long to put in my tubes since the insurance company didn't want to pay for it since they felt ear infection medicine and doctor visits were cheaper and your insurance/doctor might be doing the same thing. Its also a completely painless surgery.

 

you sir have some real problems. stay safe out there.

 

Yeah, I have 2 boys, one is a 4.0 gpa and the other is 0.6 gpa, go figure. I do the same thing with both, take away what they like if they don't do their work and I also buy them things when they do well...not just do their work, but exceed...my "F" student actually got his first two "C" grades last report card, haha, but generally he's way behind and emotionally weak too.

The problem is that the "F" student seems to care less and less that I take things away. It used to influence him strongly, now he gets angry and sometimes even cries, but he doesn't do his work...he just loses his toys and says he wants to go "back to Texas", he's never been there.

Thanks for the reply.

 

I know my stress doesn't compare, but these last 4 months have been rough. Dealing with My cars transmission going out, had to drop 3k to method4 and my car still runs like ish, makes all kinds of strange noises but can't bring it in cause I don't have another car to drive at the moment.

House mate moved out so have to make up that 550 towards the mortgage, just had to pay reg, and smog but dmv said i have to take it in for a test now cause there were some emissions. My roof has a leak also that comes down around the door frame but can't seem to pin point it.

I really hate my job, but afraid to leave cause the money is good and it's fairly secure at the moment. All My gf talks about is when I'm gonna buy her a ring, or a dog. (around 1200-1600 for the dog, and 6k for the ring she wants) Her work is cutting people this week so she is stressing out as well.

All I can do is keep an optimistic outlook on things, and tell myself things are gonna work themselves out. Also I know things could be much worse.

 

I think I make too much money to change careers. I tried that a few years ago, became a power engineer, essentially took a 30% pay hit...found out I liked telecom a lot more afterwards though. So it wasn't a waste, also learned more about power than I would've ever known otherwise.

Thanks much, I don't know if they really help or not.

Tile roof, it's supposed to last "forever" warranty is 50 years, I thought that the roofer installed it incorrectly. Had a contractor out, he says it's the upstairs window that is leaking...this problem may be fixed.

He's only 10, and doesn't have a great vocabulary...I don't think the "Be a man" speech will get me very far yet.

Yeah, I'm probably at least 20 years from Retirement, but my personal savings and 401K...I always had some money to fall back on, now gone.

Well, I buy my work clothes at Nordstom's, but pretty much everything else at Ross.

I think that money stress is one of the biggest problems in society, if you ever take one of the psychological stress tests, the only money question on it relates to earning too much money...this seems inane to me, the stress of not being able to pay your bills or having a large unexpected bill is not even in the questionaire...

Thanks much for the reply.

 

Do you know how to construct one? I can make any number of trigger devices or timers, but I don't know if something I make to go boom will actually go boom.

Note : While the above is 100% true on my part, I am not seriously considering causing anyone else to go "boom".

 

Buy your work clothes at Nordstrom Rack or Loehmann's. I buy my "$200" jeans for MUCH less at those places. i.e. Last month I picked up a pair of $300 shoes for $75 at The Rack.... it's worth the hunt.


Also, since your youngest one is giving you the opposite reaction you want with the whole taking things away when bad/ rewarding good behavior, maybe there is someone at his school you could talk to. My mom is a teacher and her school has a school therapist that kids and their parents can see for free. They might have someone that could help you figure out some ways to help him since he's got a lot more to deal with than your average 10 yr old.

 

Try another country Thomas. were doing it in Fiji. May have to get married again when we get here

 

i'm sure everyone knows how it feels like to be stressed. as cliche as it may sound, i know things seem rough now but things will eventually begin to look up for you, you just have to believe it. Having the strength to keep a positive attitude, regardless of the circumstances is the only thing that will help you get through this.

I know what you mean.. I don't even make enough to help my mom pay for the bills and I'm the only one working.. I cut back a lot of my hours due to school, which is hurting us now but in the longrun it will be worth it. Be thankful you still have a job.. Don't see this as a negative thing. Be thankful that your company still keeps you around.. There must be something about you that makes them want to keep you, otherwise they would've let you go already. During this tough time, you just have to find the strength to understand that your company needs to survive so the only way is to cut wages.. Who knows.. that may be the only way that you and your co-workers can keep their job.


In life, you have choices. You decide what you want to do with your life, no one else. Just because they passed you over for a promotion doesn't mean that you have no future.. It just means that it wasn't meant for you. You were meant to do something else, something that will make you happy. These are just obstacles you're going to have to overcome. And if you truly feel like this was something that you're meant to do then fight for it. Don't let opportunities pass you by. If you want something, you have to work hard for it. I always believe that anyone can do whatever they set their mind to. Just don't give up on yourself.


I understand it may seem frustrating, but just remember this. He is your son and it hurts him just as much as it hurts you. Just never give up on him because he needs someone to support him. You just have to work with him.. Maybe spend more time with him and don't emphasize his failures, use positive reinforcements. If he's getting F's, find out why. Find out what he likes and what he is good at. Sit down with him and try to read a book with him. Try different kinds of books especially the ones with pictures. Whatever approach you choose to go with, just remember to never make him feel as if he is a failure.

I'm telling you this because my brother grew up having difficulties learning. He has a hard time speaking like everyone else, but I can understand him. He's a smart guy, much smarter than me, but he isn't able to learn the same way I am. He gets F's as well.. I feel like the reason why he wasn't able to improve was because my mom would always tell him how stupid he was and she would always put him down because he wasn't able to get A's or B's. I feel that if she had supported him and understood that he might just learn a little bit differently than others, he could have done a lot better. Right now I put him back in school and I'm allowing him to choose what classes he wants to take. Whatever makes him happy and you know what? He's passing all of his classes. He might not be able to be what everyone expects him to be, but he's doing what he wants to do, and that's all that matters in the end. The point I'm trying to make is, even though it feels like him getting Fs and being disabled from certain things is a bad thing, don't look at it like it's something bad but as a challenge. Work with your son and help him. Ask him what he thinks will help him. Sometimes us adults forget that children have a mind of their own as well. All you need to do is listen, and trust me.. you will see results.

I know how it feels to want to die sometimes, but in the end it's not worth it. I'm sure you're wondering, how could this person who speaks to me about being positive, knows about wanting to die. Well I am the way I am because I've gone through a lot during my childhood.

I had an abusive father who was also an alcoholic, a mom who attempted to commit suicide at least 2-3 times in her life (because my dad beat her), both parents been to jail, matter of fact a huge majority of my family have been to jail, growing up in a rough home where I got constant visits from police, from losing our home and having no money with nowhere to live. I've seen it all and trust me, I was in 4th grade when I wanted to commit suicide. Can you imagine a 9 year old wanting to die? I felt strongly about it too. I even wrote a story about it in my STAR testings and I drew pictures. I didn't know it was bad at the time, that's just how I felt. I was really sad when I was younger and I hated everything. I thought the world hated me.. I hated the world more when my dad got stabbed multiple times when I was in 6th grade over something stupid.

I got in a lot of fights too, most of them from protecting my brother because bullies would always pick on him since he was extremely underweight. In highschool he was 16 at 70lbs. Can you imagine that? And a bully threw him in the garbage, chipping his front teeth. I was very angry.. and this was about 6 years ago..

Two years ago, I think I felt the greatest amount of stress. That's when my grandfather passed away and my mom was an emotional wreck because this is the man that cared for her all her life.. My mom would cry nonstop and when you care so much about your mom, you never want to see her in pain, so of course it hurts you too. This was around the times of my finals.. I was really sad and super depressed.. I never lost anyone before.. I remember the day I called my so called friend to help comfort me, they told me they were too busy to be there because of their bf/gf. I was angryyyy and I didn't want to trust anyone anymore.. So I think that added to the Stress list. Then I called my other friend who I haven't talked to hella months, and he was there to listen which was cool. But I think this was the MOST i had ever been stressed out.. All my life, I had been stressed out... I would always pretend to be happy (for my friends), when realistically i was sad.. which adds more stress to this fat stress list..

It sucks, I know. But what got me through everything was the fact that I knew I couldn't give up on myself. I knew that I had to remain strong, not only for me, but for my family and friends. I got passed the suicidal phase because I decided to ask myself one day, did I want to be happy or sad.. and it struck me.. you will only be sad if you choose to be sad.. and vice versa. So one day, I decided I didn't want to be sad anymore, and that's what got me through it.

I know you'll find the strength to get through these rough times. Sorry for the EXTRA long post. I just wanted to make sure that you understood that I actually understand how you're feeling, instead of just saying.. "hope things work out." Just remember, you have choices in life, it's up to you to decide what will make you happy, no one else..

If ever you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to shoot me a pm. I'm sure everyone here will be more than happy to lend an ear

 

word. were one happy family for the most part

 

couple bong rips and a beer usually helps

 

I'm sorry about what you're going through right now... it's uplifting to see how many people are offering up words of comfort and advice in this forum though I'm 20 years old and can't say with a straight face that I've carried burdens such as yours; I don't think I've even developed the maturity to digest all that information yet... kids? Career? Investments? Eck

The advice so far pretty much covers my expanse of knowledge... I guess I'd just like to add my two cents about your 10 year old. I minor in education and am tutoring 3rd, 8th and 9th grade right now so hopefully I can offer up some fresh ideas/ thoughts

First of all... kids at that age can be cruel. I know because I used to be the schoolyard bully's girl/ sidekick, and I've seen the other end of what your son might be going through. We used to chase around a mildly mentally retarded Indian kid and torment him to no end, because he was unclean and had a heavy accent. To this day I can remember the tears running down his dust-stained face and it torments me... but I didn't know better then. We did it from 3rd to 5th grade, and the kid's parents finally transferred him elsewhere You or your wife have probably tried it already... but its crucial to get him to open up about issues like that; find out whether school life is further hindering his interest to formal learning. If he just cries, ask leading questions and gently start training him to articulate.

The CA school system nowadays is at a low point; thanks to No Child Left Behind and whatnot, the state's education goals is bent towards weeding out the less-capable students rather than helping everyone through in order to meet standards and get adequate funding. If your son is truly struggling with the curriculum... perhaps talk to the school counselor and see about placing him in special ed? In some ways, going through academic/ motivational issues at 10 may be better than at 15 or 16, when they don't even want to see their parents let alone talk to them. A 9th grader I just began tutoring has been averaging straight F's (0.8 GPA)... he's got diabetes that almost killed him, and some recent deaths in the family. My role in his life is a college student mentor/ tutor, and he's finally opened up a tiny bit after weeks of effort. Perhaps you can find an online community who specifically discusses the hearing problems your son experiences, and ask for advice on how parents in similar situations get through these tough times. At 10, the possibility of parental help is much bigger than when he's older, so I hope you and your family can work out this issue soon.

Dang I ranted... sorry about that. Guess I just get super concerned when I hear kids are having a tough time :\ Best of luck with this and everything else going on in your life!!



Short list of my current s t r e s s factors:
- School tuition is about to take a mid-year hike; my financial aid + job wages aren't nearly enough to pay off bills so my cc bill is building... again
- I'm about to transfer from UC Davis to a private school... and get myself $25k more debt
- Butting heads with mom again about moving in with the boyfriend after college grad
- Still trying to conquer my social anxiety issues... I still get randomly nauseous and get stomach pains x_x

 

Go see a counselor. Seriously.

 

I'd actually counsel you... but you'd have to be willing to understand that I'm sure there are some great pluses in your life. Most of the decisions of bumness or awesomness are 99% controlled by yourself.

 

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