rofl that is some funny shizznit!!!

 

The best Absinthe has low proof.

 

i braught some back from my own euro trip.heh. it was so easy. i payd for a vintage bottle i am saving for a specail occasion. (payd like 130 bucks)

 

there's a lot of myths surrounding absynthe...most people who halucinated while taking it in the late 19th century and early 20th century were also ravaged with maddening syphillus.

 

Its the wormwood in it that makes you feel all funny. If the Absinthe has too high a alcohol content, you end up getting to drunk to notice the wormwood effect.

ive had both good and bad absinthe. the best suff i had was german. i have the bottle in storage somewhere still.

 

Dear Alcohol,

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours.

As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect

post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the

holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in

the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been

wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have

my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some

unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important,

I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or

necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call anyone when I

know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all

hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest

that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball

and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat

after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater,

but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do

more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home

by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black

& blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are

beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to

get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting

ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's

debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is

completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the

proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products,

aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen

floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no

way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like

to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of

great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed

companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my

pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully

review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for

an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible

solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,

Your Biggest Fan

P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity

2. British Constitution

3. Passive-aggressive disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.

2. Nope, no more beer for me.

3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.

4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.

 

I can speak for this personaly

 

:rotfl: