http://forums.nasioc.com/forums/show...hreadid=416868

To long to post again, feel free to contact me for payment methods.

 

I offer you $1

 

For those banned or lazy people.

i will sell you my job!

Work mon-thurs (sometimes a friday)

You must be able to do all sorts of technical support related things. Such as Change printer toner, fix paper james in 70's era fax machines. Must be able to pick up at least 50lbs and carry it or drag it by its power cord for at least 200 feet. You must be willing to deal with the stupidest people in the world all the while maintaing a facade of caring and sympathy for the problems at hand.

You must be able to deal with senior management that has no clue how to manage no matter how many times they call you in for a "team meeting". You must be willing to hard and scurry at all signs of day light while still maintaing a bright glowing neon white complextion. Their may be after hours work that needs to be done at co workers office's which may or may not include having to install wireless networks so that the president of the company can stay up all night playing madden 2004. So that the next buisness day he is in a ****ty mood and fires 4 people. Mind you these people may be critical to the companies operations, so then you would be tasked with picking up their duties and repsonsibilties (only an interm thing we promise you!).

All this can be had for an easy up front cash payment of aprox 15,000 dollars.

Annual pay is in the area of 45-55g a year full bennies (if you can consider kaiser a medical operation)


Please contact me via PM to make or arrange transfer of this wonderful life oppertunity!

 

Would this dollar be made of any sort of highly rare ultra expensive metal or material?

 

newer version with more info on the goods at sale .

http://forums.nasioc.com/forums/show...hreadid=416878

i will sell you my job!

Work mon-thurs noon - 9pm(sometimes a friday)

You must be able to do all sorts of technical support related things. Such as Change printer toner, fix paper james in 70's era fax machines. Must be able to pick up at least 50lbs and carry it or drag it by its power cord for at least 200 feet. You must be willing to deal with the stupidest people in the world all the while maintaing a facade of caring and sympathy for the problems at hand. The person who is perfect for this position will have the ability to multitask projects and juggle donuts and a redbull all at the same time. You musth have previous knowledge of all possible things that a stupid user can do to an application programmed by an even more stupid developer. You must be willing to clean viruses off of computers that have no connection to the work network at all. You must be willing to walk a coworkers cousins best freinds uncles daughters aunts neice who was adopted by an albinoe eskimop tribe thru complex things such as using aol instant messenger. You must be able to do all these things with large smile and bounce in your voice. You may be required to create from scratch imposibly complex software systems from scratch on a moments notice. You must be able to engineer horrendously complex hardware and software integration schemas with no knowledge of actual buisness needs or requirements. These systems can not fail nor can they suffer from any bugs or glitches. And yes you must retain that same smile on your face and bounce in your step that you had when you were walking the bosses 4yearold thru how to set up the newest version of "The incredible Adventures Of Sponge Bob" just 15 min ago.

Another aspect of this postion is the fact that you must be able to take any and all technicaly related or even non technical questions at any hour of the day. This may include calls at 2am in the morning about why someones DirectTV went out in the middle of a porno. This may include troubleshooting such a system at the same time. Also do expect calls at 6am that same morning from a different co workers asking why he can not get his DSL line up. Expect to spend 1 hour on the phone with him trying to tell him to call up tech supportt.

You must be able to deal with senior management that has no clue how to manage no matter how many times they call you in for a "team meeting". you must be able to sit thru such meetings and contribute such finer insight such as "I agree fully", "let me look into that for you", "I dont think i can create a button on the webpage that when clicked would open your office door".
You must be willing to run and scurry into the shadows at all signs of day light while still maintaing a bright glowing neon white complextion. Their may be after hours work that needs to be done at co workers office's which may or may not include having to install wireless networks so that the president of the company can stay up all night playing madden 2004. So that the next buisness day he is in a ****ty mood and fires 4 people. Mind you these people may be critical to the companies operations, so then you would be tasked with picking up their duties and repsonsibilties (only an interm thing we promise you!).

All this can be had for an easy up front cash payment of aprox 15,000 dollars.

Annual pay is in the area of 45-55g a year full bennies (if you can consider kaiser a medical operation)


Please contact me via PM to make or arrange transfer of this wonderful life oppertunity!

 

You need to post that on E-bay.

 

Okay, this sounds like the typical IT job, except your position pays less, but sounds a bit more glamorous and exciting.
Hmmmmm

 

I get to do practically whatever the hell I want , play with some of the most powerful computers in the world and I get paid twice as much. If I want more education my job will pay for it and I can get it on company time. I get the fattest retirement package ever and a host of medical plans to choose from. Not to mention a huge lack of meetings and some of the most mellow and cool folks around with no business/commerce/dotcom/must-work-a-minimum-of-50-hours/we-gotta-get-this-done-NOW crap!

You can have a job where work for FREE.

http://www.lbl.gov/Workplace/employment.html


jason

p.s. if you really want a job there let me know... I get like 1 or 2 grand ... which I'll share with you

 

Who does the security there? no not uniformed but l33t m4d h4x0rz type shiznit..Well that would be ideal but right now anything to get me out of the fraternity i mean job i have right now.

My boss once bought a coworker a hooker for getting a project done on time.. How is that for being in a prof. enviroment.

 

HEY BACKOFF MY THREAD BUDDY!!!

Or i will beat you down with my l33t letters at the end of my name foo!