"Superman has Jack Bauer pajamas." RIP OFF!!!! cuz... super man has chuck norris on them

 

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane."

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing a finger at her and saying "booya"

Chuck Norris can watch "60 minutes" in 20 minutes.

When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

 

I'm taking a speech class, and decided to do my informative speech on the life of Chuck Norris.

 

When Chuck Norris sits on a teeter totter it is then referred to simply as a bench; because Chuck Norris can never been made to Teeter or Totter.

 

Chuck Norris' Tear can Cure Cancer. Too bad he's never cried.

 

that is one of my favorite lines.

 

in jack bauer's presence, chuck norris pees sitting down

 

the show was called walker texas ranger, cause chuck norris doesn't run

 

Adolf Hitler did not commit suicide. Chuck Norris actually travelled back in time and teabagged him to death.

 

Chuck Norris does have a house. and yes it is round.

in the back of the guiness book of world records Chuck Norris' name is the back in small print. All the other names in the book are those who simply got the closest to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris lost his verginity before his dad did.

JFK did not get assasinated. Chuck Norris actually round house kicked the bullet and when JFK saw it his head exploded in shere amazement.

 

Chuck Norris threw a roundhouse kick so power***l it caused the earth to tilt farther on its axis causing the poles to move closer to the sun

 

Chuck Norris once visited "the Virgin Islands".

They are now called "The Islands".