Anyone on here gone through a divorce?
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Never been married but here's my .02c
If she told YOU she wants a divorce, your relationship ended Loooong time ago. She probably gave you clues about issues going on and you ignored them at one point or another. Or she met some other dude that's giving her the attention or whatever is lacking in your relationship. Save any text or indication of infidelity that you find. It can probably help. Also, it is time to man up (mentally) she's wants out. Let her go, and get an attorney like stated above. Your priority now is your baby girl, your things and yourself. No time to be depressed over a person that does not want to be in your life.
If she told YOU she wants a divorce, your relationship ended Loooong time ago. She probably gave you clues about issues going on and you ignored them at one point or another. Or she met some other dude that's giving her the attention or whatever is lacking in your relationship. Save any text or indication of infidelity that you find. It can probably help. Also, it is time to man up (mentally) she's wants out. Let her go, and get an attorney like stated above. Your priority now is your baby girl, your things and yourself. No time to be depressed over a person that does not want to be in your life.
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Joined: May 2014
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From: SF/DC
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My advice to you is that be prepared sit down with your ex wife to be and talk set terms regarding your daughter. If you guys can't compromise, then a lawyer will have to handle this. If she's so eager to leave and telling you all these hurtful things, chances are she's doing something behind her back. Use it against her but as far as custody goes... Try to have equal custody. You guys might be separated but at least your daughter will still have both parents. Man up.. Be strong.. Don't your let your ex wife see u struggling... She's probably enjoying it seeing you like this. Just remember, it's not you... She married you for who you are and not what you can be. Don't change for anyone. Be yourself.. Good luck. Hope you end on good terms.
Never been married but here's my .02c
If she told YOU she wants a divorce, your relationship ended Loooong time ago. She probably gave you clues about issues going on and you ignored them at one point or another. Or she met some other dude that's giving her the attention or whatever is lacking in your relationship. Save any text or indication of infidelity that you find. It can probably help. Also, it is time to man up (mentally) she's wants out. Let her go, and get an attorney like stated above. Your priority now is your baby girl, your things and yourself. No time to be depressed over a person that does not want to be in your life.
If she told YOU she wants a divorce, your relationship ended Loooong time ago. She probably gave you clues about issues going on and you ignored them at one point or another. Or she met some other dude that's giving her the attention or whatever is lacking in your relationship. Save any text or indication of infidelity that you find. It can probably help. Also, it is time to man up (mentally) she's wants out. Let her go, and get an attorney like stated above. Your priority now is your baby girl, your things and yourself. No time to be depressed over a person that does not want to be in your life.
Agreed until you do what he stated you will be miserable,Take control and move on and do all you can with your daughter.You will also never be able to find someone if you are not happy with yourself so do you and enjoy it.I have two kids myself a 9 & 12 year old was with the mother for about 8 years never married but had to move on,and be prepared to fight for that kid because the court system is a huge headache they really do side with the women and it really sucks.The best to you and just keep fighting for what is right and best for you do not cave in.
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This is california, you are entitled to 50% of the property acquired during the marriage, and if you guys live pretty close to one another, 50/50 child custody (legal and physical)
I went through a divorce 4 years ago and I handled all the paperwork. After the fighting stopped and things calmed down a bit, my ex-wife agreed that it wasn't wise to spend all the $$$ on lawyer bills (as we'll both end up with financial problems).
We split the assets 50/50, agreed to cash out the retirement funds (ouch - and got hit by taxes and early withdrawal feels) and agreed on a custody split ( had my son for middle school, she has him for high school as we live in different regions - NorCal vs SoCal hence it was going to be financially and logistically impossible to split 50/50 due to school year). Basically, we have Joint Legal Custody but I had Primary Physical custody for middle school, and it switched when my son started attending high school (she now has Primary Physical Custody).
Wrote up an MSA (Marriage Separation Agreement) and the Judge was more than happy to to agree. We weren't agreeing to the split at first but the Judge made us go to Alameda / Child Services to talk to a mediator. Mediator basically told us, California = 50/50 custody, barring neither parent is crazy (or has issues like drugs and etc which may harm the child / children) tough luck for either parent to get more than that.
Fighting out child custody in court ends up wasting time, wasted money and the child ends up having issues with both parents, nobody wants to be used a weapon in a war ( more bad memories)..
I went through a divorce 4 years ago and I handled all the paperwork. After the fighting stopped and things calmed down a bit, my ex-wife agreed that it wasn't wise to spend all the $$$ on lawyer bills (as we'll both end up with financial problems).
We split the assets 50/50, agreed to cash out the retirement funds (ouch - and got hit by taxes and early withdrawal feels) and agreed on a custody split ( had my son for middle school, she has him for high school as we live in different regions - NorCal vs SoCal hence it was going to be financially and logistically impossible to split 50/50 due to school year). Basically, we have Joint Legal Custody but I had Primary Physical custody for middle school, and it switched when my son started attending high school (she now has Primary Physical Custody).
Wrote up an MSA (Marriage Separation Agreement) and the Judge was more than happy to to agree. We weren't agreeing to the split at first but the Judge made us go to Alameda / Child Services to talk to a mediator. Mediator basically told us, California = 50/50 custody, barring neither parent is crazy (or has issues like drugs and etc which may harm the child / children) tough luck for either parent to get more than that.
Fighting out child custody in court ends up wasting time, wasted money and the child ends up having issues with both parents, nobody wants to be used a weapon in a war ( more bad memories)..
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A couple of friends of mine are getting ready for this life changing event. Thankfully, they are mature enough to realize that being hurtful or vindictive doesn't solve anything. She's moving out next month, and they're doing what's best for their 7 year old boy.
Amicable divorce, joint custody, just agreeing that it's what's best.
Amicable divorce, joint custody, just agreeing that it's what's best.
sorry to hear. everyone here has given good advices! i think the best bet is to just get a mutual agreement with one another in spliting assets. if you know she's gonan play it dirty, it's probably best you lawyer up. CHances are she has already done that. If she's talking about a divorce.. chances are the probablem has already been happening before she brought it up.
some things your lawyer is proabbly gonna ask you to do is to stay off the text messages and dont start deleting stuff because there will be a way for them to recieve it and if it shows that you went and redacted or deleted information, it would look bad. Also, to stay off the social media and stay off the dating scene the case has been settled. In california, males are at a disadvantage before going into a divorce court. So again if you can jsut settle outside the court system, it would probably be best, and must easier to get through. best of luck to you.
some things your lawyer is proabbly gonna ask you to do is to stay off the text messages and dont start deleting stuff because there will be a way for them to recieve it and if it shows that you went and redacted or deleted information, it would look bad. Also, to stay off the social media and stay off the dating scene the case has been settled. In california, males are at a disadvantage before going into a divorce court. So again if you can jsut settle outside the court system, it would probably be best, and must easier to get through. best of luck to you.
Hey CBSubie..is this you?
Are you the scammer formally known as CaliSuby?
Are you the scammer formally known as CaliSuby?
Met him in Watsonville first week of June to give him the money and he said it usually take a few weeks since his friend will wait for a similar car to test... mind you, he did my smog two years prior and came through. This time, a month passed and he said his friend would not return his text nor calls. He finally paid him a visit July 3rd and he said that his friend wasn't there and had been gone three weeks. I asked him if he knows his whereabouts nor if he can give me his name, so I can help track him down. He could have just moved to another shop somewhere close. He said, he paid for two smogs, mine and his for a total of $600 and have not received his cert either. The challenge for him is he lives in Watsonville and the smog tech was in Salinas. He can only check on the days he's off work. I left him a couple of messages since and no reply after that... it's been 5 days.
I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but from what I'm seeing here, he's scammed a few folks too in the past. He's moved twice from the last time we met but I'm sure he can be tracked... All I want is the truth and my money back. If he's in a bind, I'll take payments.. been there before. What I'm pissed about is I'm the one chasing him when it's his responsibility to let me know what's going on. He took my money in exchange for something, so if his friend drops the ball, it's his word and should pay back.
I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but from what I'm seeing here, he's scammed a few folks too in the past. He's moved twice from the last time we met but I'm sure he can be tracked... All I want is the truth and my money back. If he's in a bind, I'll take payments.. been there before. What I'm pissed about is I'm the one chasing him when it's his responsibility to let me know what's going on. He took my money in exchange for something, so if his friend drops the ball, it's his word and should pay back.
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Well, being a lying slime ball douchebag may have something to do with why your woman don't want to be with you anymore. Perhaps it's your drug habit, perhaps it's your lying and stealing, perhaps it's your "Efren Carrillo" attitude...
...you deserve what you get.
...you deserve what you get.
