I have a friend who cannot go to work without smoking a bowl before work, before lunch, and before leaving... Not to mention the several alcoholics that I know... All are good workers however, who would have thought?

 

Sounds like your friend works either in retail, customer service or is a cubicle slave.

Or he has a severe dependency problem.

 

if your job sucks I guess. personally its a no no for me. I like to use **** in my fun time, not while i have to sit at work................i rather just get my **** done and go have fun at home.

 

yeah....just can't do it but when I use to work at starbucks like a hella long time ago me and my co-workers use to get hella drunk at work while serving customers! hahaha

 

All cubical slaves.



I can't do anything at work, I have to focus on things like code all day so I can't screw up...

I remember when I had a back injury I had to take a bunch of pain killers to be able to function... I don't think I've ever gotten less done at work. Actually, I think I'm allergic to pain killers, they make me feel like CRAP, have to counteract the crappyness with benadryl, then I have the attention span of a newt. I have enough left over from previous accidents to treat a small city... I think its all expired now. I hate throwing that crap away cuz Im paranoid about the bottles with my info on them.

The reason I don't say no to medicines the docs give me is because I pay out the *** to be able to get thoses meds in the first place, so if I pay, I make them pay! I'm a bastard, aren't I?

 

My friend worked at Jamba Juice for a few months.

He showed up to training high as hell and half way through a bottle of JD.

He would show up on work days with a bottle of Bacardi and mix up a smoothie for himself that was probably 120 proof.

 

I dont understand how people can work drunk...


I'm not a big drinker though... Like to a have a little vodka, or cognac, or some beer... just enough to get "talkative", but alcohol f's up my system and when I'm drunk I can't do ****! Probably one of the reasons I hate drunk drivers so much. High drivers, not so much... Drunk drivers = devil

 

I know how they hurt. Whatever you gotta do to keep your sanity in the 9 square feet of hell.

 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

caffine and nicoteen

 

Those were on his good days.

One day he threw a pineapple (he was a pitcher in college baseball) at a co-worker and dented the stainless steel dishwasher front.

That and he cold-cocked a little Hispanic lady he worked with (on accident, he was aiming for our other friend).

And the kicker - he didn't get a word of discipline.

 

a few months ago, i was in the hospital a few days for kidney stones. when i got discharged, they gave me some oral pain killers called dilaudid, which is a powerful narcotic, 10 times more powerful than vicodin.

i had returned to work the next day and took one of my dilaudid pills, and shortly after arriving in my cubicle, my arms, head, shoulders all start to go completely numb. i basically sat there in my cube for over an hour in a complete numbing daze with my eyes closed.

i get to work at 715am, so there wasn't anybody around to notice

 

i never thought of this...until i realized it would be a fast way to rehab

 

yeah, seriously... Me too... I used to test database software for a fortune 100 company, and you'd think they'd treat their employees well... HA! Cube HELL! Worst job I've probably had... Sat there all day doing tests on database software in the worst cube environment I have ever been in. The building had sqeeky pipes, rude immigrants with no manners, snorting, and other bodily sounds were common place... Pay was good, but I wanted to kill myself every day after before, during and after work. My only solace was music... Heavy industrial music... Thats all that could kill the pain.

God damn I'm glad Im out of there.... Did a year and left a went into gaming.

 

With the amount of monter and redbull i consume.