A-10 Warthog Pilot 4 Lyfe, f00 or "You can't handle the truth!"
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Pr0n King
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A-10 Warthog Pilot 4 Lyfe, f00 or "You can't handle the truth!"
An A-10 pilot's response to a corporate recruiter:
The recruiter writes:
"Dear Alumni Member:
I am a recruiter in Dallas that specializes in placing students from key colleges in the positions they desire to be in with my clients across the nation. I work with companies of all sizes and industries. I received your name from several other members of the "Association of Former Students" here at Texas A&M University that I am currently working with. Feel comfortable that your information is confidential with my company. I would like to discuss whether you are currently in the market or even keeping your eyes open for the right opportunity. I would like to see a current copy of your resume to see what opportunities that you may be perfect for. Please send your resume via e-mail or fax to my attention, and I will follow up with you in the next few days to determine your level of interest. I thank you in advance for your response. Please e-mail me back at ******* or call me direct at *********.
BJ McCartney,
Senior Recruiting Consultant,
Odell & Associates"
The pilot responds:
Dear Mr.McCartney-
This is in response to the email you sent me regarding your services as a recruiter. Currently I am employed as a US Air Force Fighter Pilot flying A-10 Thunderbolts for the 25TH Fighter Squadron, Osan AB, Republic of Korea. My contract with the USAF does not expire until 2006. Here are some of my qualifications nonetheless, just in case any of your clients are in need of someone with my expertise:
1. The ability to employ my aircraft, the feared A-10 Warthog, as one of the most capable ground attack/Close Air Support (CAS) platforms in the world and in so doing close with and destroy the enemy with vicious skill and wanton bloodlust. There's nothing like using my windshield wipers to smear the fecal matter and blood of an enemy invicerated at close range....(sigh).
2. Protect South Korea from communist hordes led by the Great Pornographer, Kim Jung Ill. I'd love to have my ejection seat upholstered with that ****-sucker's skin.
3. Drop cluster munitions from 10,000 feet onto unsuspecting DANKS(dumb *** north Koreans) and send 202 individual bomblets of wrath and fury into their starving, bloated, pink bodies. (Pardon me, but I think I'm giggling).
4. Take a 6000 foot, slant-range, Forced-No-Solution High-angle gun shot and kill troops in their little ***** APC's with reckless abandon. Do you have any idea, Mr. McCartney, what a 30mm Armor Piercing Incendiary round that is as long as your forearm does as it boars through a tank's walls like Jell-O? Let me tell you, it's not pretty. In fact, if given the choice you'd be smart to volunteer to **** your own mother in the *** rather than be in front of my gunsights.
5. Get wicked-***-drunk at the Officer's club on Friday nights, smokin' big fat Cuban cigars (this is Korea, not the U.S.), drink Gin and Tonic like water, throw furniture off the roof, say '****' a lot, and **** off all the wives and hapless souls who hate our guts because they are not fighter pilots.
6. I have no idea how to "hold a meeting," "do a memo," "take a lunch," "think outside the box" or even sit behind a desk for that matter. I eat, sleep, fly, **** and drink. I am an instrument of national policy the likes of which your clients have never seen. I would just as soon detonate a Mk 82 Air Burst 20 feet above a DANK playground and decapitate DANK 4year olds (who'll grow up to be DANK Special Forces, anyway) than wander through some corporate office blabbering about business plans and the latest episode of Ally "I'm a ****ing loser anorexic *****" McBeal.
Thank you for your letter and please let me know if any of your fat, stupid, getting-soft-on-my-account-of-defending-your-weak-*****-little-***-associates show interest in my capabilities. I look forward to hearing from you.
CPT Xxxxx Xxxxxx
Fighter Pilot (read: Killer for the U.S Government)
United States Air Force
__________________
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The recruiter writes:
"Dear Alumni Member:
I am a recruiter in Dallas that specializes in placing students from key colleges in the positions they desire to be in with my clients across the nation. I work with companies of all sizes and industries. I received your name from several other members of the "Association of Former Students" here at Texas A&M University that I am currently working with. Feel comfortable that your information is confidential with my company. I would like to discuss whether you are currently in the market or even keeping your eyes open for the right opportunity. I would like to see a current copy of your resume to see what opportunities that you may be perfect for. Please send your resume via e-mail or fax to my attention, and I will follow up with you in the next few days to determine your level of interest. I thank you in advance for your response. Please e-mail me back at ******* or call me direct at *********.
BJ McCartney,
Senior Recruiting Consultant,
Odell & Associates"
The pilot responds:
Dear Mr.McCartney-
This is in response to the email you sent me regarding your services as a recruiter. Currently I am employed as a US Air Force Fighter Pilot flying A-10 Thunderbolts for the 25TH Fighter Squadron, Osan AB, Republic of Korea. My contract with the USAF does not expire until 2006. Here are some of my qualifications nonetheless, just in case any of your clients are in need of someone with my expertise:
1. The ability to employ my aircraft, the feared A-10 Warthog, as one of the most capable ground attack/Close Air Support (CAS) platforms in the world and in so doing close with and destroy the enemy with vicious skill and wanton bloodlust. There's nothing like using my windshield wipers to smear the fecal matter and blood of an enemy invicerated at close range....(sigh).
2. Protect South Korea from communist hordes led by the Great Pornographer, Kim Jung Ill. I'd love to have my ejection seat upholstered with that ****-sucker's skin.
3. Drop cluster munitions from 10,000 feet onto unsuspecting DANKS(dumb *** north Koreans) and send 202 individual bomblets of wrath and fury into their starving, bloated, pink bodies. (Pardon me, but I think I'm giggling).
4. Take a 6000 foot, slant-range, Forced-No-Solution High-angle gun shot and kill troops in their little ***** APC's with reckless abandon. Do you have any idea, Mr. McCartney, what a 30mm Armor Piercing Incendiary round that is as long as your forearm does as it boars through a tank's walls like Jell-O? Let me tell you, it's not pretty. In fact, if given the choice you'd be smart to volunteer to **** your own mother in the *** rather than be in front of my gunsights.
5. Get wicked-***-drunk at the Officer's club on Friday nights, smokin' big fat Cuban cigars (this is Korea, not the U.S.), drink Gin and Tonic like water, throw furniture off the roof, say '****' a lot, and **** off all the wives and hapless souls who hate our guts because they are not fighter pilots.
6. I have no idea how to "hold a meeting," "do a memo," "take a lunch," "think outside the box" or even sit behind a desk for that matter. I eat, sleep, fly, **** and drink. I am an instrument of national policy the likes of which your clients have never seen. I would just as soon detonate a Mk 82 Air Burst 20 feet above a DANK playground and decapitate DANK 4year olds (who'll grow up to be DANK Special Forces, anyway) than wander through some corporate office blabbering about business plans and the latest episode of Ally "I'm a ****ing loser anorexic *****" McBeal.
Thank you for your letter and please let me know if any of your fat, stupid, getting-soft-on-my-account-of-defending-your-weak-*****-little-***-associates show interest in my capabilities. I look forward to hearing from you.
CPT Xxxxx Xxxxxx
Fighter Pilot (read: Killer for the U.S Government)
United States Air Force
__________________
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This sounds like a resume I sent some ***** that wanted me to work for them when I really didn't want to work for them in return. They thought my "Army leadership" would do the company some good. I even included foreign decorations (wings) and foreign marksmanship qualifications (German gold schutzensnur & expert qual with the Thai Rangers) to make it seem like I was a cold-blooded killer. Stuff they never knew about. Of course, I made it out to be James Bond type stuff when it really, really wasn't. They must have lost my number.
This sounds like a resume I sent some ***** that wanted me to work for them when I really didn't want to work for them in return. They thought my "Army leadership" would do the company some good. I even included foreign decorations (wings) and foreign marksmanship qualifications (German gold schutzensnur & expert qual with the Thai Rangers) to make it seem like I was a cold-blooded killer. Stuff they never knew about. Of course, I made it out to be James Bond type stuff when it really, really wasn't. They must have lost my number.
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There's nothing like using my windshield wipers to smear the fecal matter and blood of an enemy invicerated at close range....(sigh).
:rotfl:
:rotfl:
Originally Posted by Oaf
There's nothing like using my windshield wipers to smear the fecal matter and blood of an enemy invicerated at close range....(sigh).
:rotfl:
:rotfl:
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