twas the night before christmas and all through the house
not a creature was stirring except me clicking the mouse
through the i-club.com forums i did surf with care
in hopes that saint nick would sell me his spare

the children were nestled all snug in their beds
while visions of rota wheels rolled through their heads
and ma in her teddy and i in my subaru cap
had just settled down for a nice little nap

when down the street there arose such a clatter
i jumped in my rex to see what was the matter
away down the road i flew like a flash
redline i did hit and the gas i did mash

the headlights hitting the new fallen snow
gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear
but a tricked out ricer, with full apc gear

he was a fat old driver, feeling cocky and quick
i knew in a moment, he was probably a dick
more rapid than a yugo his engine it came
he whistled and shouted, but still he was lame

now, greddy! now, garrett! now, brullen and sti-key!
on, hellas! on, utec! on, hks and boost-monkey
To the top of third gear, He'd hit the wall
Now in my mirror, my mirror, in he did fall

At home in the weather when the wild snow fly,
When approaching an obstacle confident - was I,
So up to the stop-sign, the victor I knew,
With gifts in the trunk - felt like St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard that poor goof,
The old man pulled up - asking for even more proof
As I fingered my hand, and turned it around
I let out the clutch while the engine was wound

The car jerked and bucked controlled by my foot,
With all wheels spinning it was hard to stay put.
A plethra of snow I had flung from the back,
Trying to keep up - the gear box he did hack.

His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a whoa,
And by now you'd think he wouldn't have bothered to go;

The expression changed, went angry - clenched teeth,
And his car jerked forward something new underneath;
He started gaining on me, one hand on his celi,
This can't be possible, he passed booming nelli!

He looked chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon he was far out in front - I knew I was dead.

He drove like an ace now, i'll forget not that smirk,
And the license plate "Santa" - I felt like a jerk,
And then he slowed down so we had matched nose,
And giving a thumbs up, the car and he rose.

For this was his sleigh, Santa's own import missile,
All decked out, rice, to sucker me in for dismissal.
However, I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"

- written by ledbetter10 and Joncas