Here is something that some of you might find funny and disturbing at the same time. I'm down at the Tropicana the other night playing poker, as I always do. This attractive older woman across from me keeps giving me the eye. A few drinks later, we're in my room steaming up the windows. Out of the blue, she whips out this butt plug, which is new to me, but i figured I'll try the old prostate massage. I bend over for her as she applies what i thought was lube to the plug. It turns out that it was tiger balm. If you don't know what tiger balm is, I'll tell you. It is a balm that you typically put on sore muscles, similar to Icy Hot, but hotter and more intense. I thought it had a funny smell. Anyway, it goes up there....about ten seconds later, the pain kicks in. I'm talking pain like I wouldn't wish on a third world theocratic dictator. I jumped up, pulled the butt plug out, and rushed to the bathroom where I proceeded to try to get this manowar type stinging out of my rear end. I didn't come out of the bathroom for at least 30 minutes. When i did, the woman was gone, $400 in cash was gone, but the butt plug and tiger balm were right there on the bed. My *** still feels like there is a jellyfish in it today. Atlantic City is a dirty place kids. Stay at the poker table. There are some evil MILF's roaming around waiting to violate your brown eye and your wallet at the same time. The next time I plan on getting laid, I'm gonna be wearing a butt chastity belt. Look out.