I think I just blew my brains out…
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I think I just blew my brains out…
I had just finished my Starbucks coffee (I had a quad venti extra hot mocha today for those that want to know) and I got that gurgling in my stomach that told me “Nature’s Extra Special Moment” was upon us. What is it about coffee that makes you have to crap – does anyone know by any chance?
Anyway, so since I had one pokin’ out I headed for the bathroom. I think it started before my *** even hit the seat, and boy was it a good one. I made a deep bowl island and was quite proud of myself.
So before I wiped, I got the urge to blow my nose and when I did I felt it. Something big was moving up in there and only the velocity generated by plugging the opposite nostril was able to knock it loose, sending it on its way towards the fluffy blue Kleenex tissue in my hand. When I pulled the Kleenex away from my nose, I was shocked to see nothing. I have heard of ghost sh*t before but never ghost shot. I was thinking I was on the verge of a new discovery here and was quite pleased with myself.
To be sure and for scientific testing purposes I decided to give firing the snot rocket out yet another try. As soon as the Kleenex hit my nose I felt it, just hanging there out of my left nose hole. It was huge and felt very solid through the snot rag. Since it was already hanging out, I decided to grab it with the blue tissue and pull instead of firing up the nose cannon again – big mistake.
This nose goblin went back far and deep and as I was about to find out had been wrapped with nasal hair. As soon as I gave it a good tug, I felt the eye watering, nose running pain of ripping several hairs out follicle and all. The booger was quite impressive, I would estimate that it was at least ¾ inch long and the trailing end had several hairs attached – bloody follicle and all.
My first thought was to save it and take a picture, but all that changed when the first blood drop hit the Kleenex. Drip turned to trickle and trickle turned in to a dam burst of flowing red blood which took several minutes to stop. Sadly in the process, the prize was lost as I balled up the bloody snot rag and used it to apply pressure to stop the bleeding.
Just thought I would share…
Anyway, so since I had one pokin’ out I headed for the bathroom. I think it started before my *** even hit the seat, and boy was it a good one. I made a deep bowl island and was quite proud of myself.
So before I wiped, I got the urge to blow my nose and when I did I felt it. Something big was moving up in there and only the velocity generated by plugging the opposite nostril was able to knock it loose, sending it on its way towards the fluffy blue Kleenex tissue in my hand. When I pulled the Kleenex away from my nose, I was shocked to see nothing. I have heard of ghost sh*t before but never ghost shot. I was thinking I was on the verge of a new discovery here and was quite pleased with myself.
To be sure and for scientific testing purposes I decided to give firing the snot rocket out yet another try. As soon as the Kleenex hit my nose I felt it, just hanging there out of my left nose hole. It was huge and felt very solid through the snot rag. Since it was already hanging out, I decided to grab it with the blue tissue and pull instead of firing up the nose cannon again – big mistake.
This nose goblin went back far and deep and as I was about to find out had been wrapped with nasal hair. As soon as I gave it a good tug, I felt the eye watering, nose running pain of ripping several hairs out follicle and all. The booger was quite impressive, I would estimate that it was at least ¾ inch long and the trailing end had several hairs attached – bloody follicle and all.
My first thought was to save it and take a picture, but all that changed when the first blood drop hit the Kleenex. Drip turned to trickle and trickle turned in to a dam burst of flowing red blood which took several minutes to stop. Sadly in the process, the prize was lost as I balled up the bloody snot rag and used it to apply pressure to stop the bleeding.
Just thought I would share…
The rush you get from your coffee is your body speeding up your metabolism to rid itself of this poison, and your body steals water from everywhere to help flush the caffeine out.
Caffine's a “mild” drug containing a whole array of toxic substances. In addition to caffeine, coffee contains hundreds of volatile substances including more than 200 acids. These the body must reject by a great expense of energy
... many people claim that caffeine helps them maintain normal bowel regularity, but that is the same as relying on laxatives. Either way, you're using a drug to induce bowel movements, and ultimately many coffee drinkers become dependent on this laxative action. Without the caffeine stimulation, they experience what is known as ‘rebound constipation.’
i had one once that was at teh back of my throat/sinuses for a day or so, i eventually passed it hrough my nose.
it had to be the largest hunk of green bloddy mucous i have ever seen in person.
felt good afterwards to breath free.
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Originally Posted by pozzi
The rush you get from your coffee is your body speeding up your metabolism to rid itself of this poison, and your body steals water from everywhere to help flush the caffeine out.
Caffine's a “mild” drug containing a whole array of toxic substances. In addition to caffeine, coffee contains hundreds of volatile substances including more than 200 acids. These the body must reject by a great expense of energy
... many people claim that caffeine helps them maintain normal bowel regularity, but that is the same as relying on laxatives. Either way, you're using a drug to induce bowel movements, and ultimately many coffee drinkers become dependent on this laxative action. Without the caffeine stimulation, they experience what is known as ‘rebound constipation.’
Thanks...
MILF Hunter
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,242
From: Sacramento
Car Info: 2005 Legacy GT
Originally Posted by Paul@dbtuned
All that & no ****ing pictures?!
WTFs wrong with you, King of the Soul Stealer?
WTFs wrong with you, King of the Soul Stealer?
Last edited by legasti; Jan 18, 2006 at 11:48 AM.
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I recall one time I blew my nose so hard that the booger was deflected by the kleenex and found a home in my hair. Luckily, I was in front of a mirror at the time so I didn't walk around all day with a booger in my hair. 
It really surprised me, I never knew a booger could do that.
It really surprised me, I never knew a booger could do that.
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man... that was an enspired write-up. Never before have I seen bodily functions described in such vivid detail. I congratulate you on your accomplishment 
Troll
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From: Modding My Car for attention...
Car Info: GT35R White 2005 Impreza STi and a 2000 Camaro Z28/RS
Originally Posted by pozzi
and then you go and try and start one of your own...
[shakes head]
[shakes head]I personally find mine to be more plausible for your every day man... While Dz's only goes with your everyday coffee drinker... Cuz I garuntee even DZ has to take a **** when he wakes up every morning...