irrational - you scottish, irish, or german? lol

sean - thanks for the info man. I went today to get a suit with my parents and I really didn't care what I got. Of course my mom did the usual mom thing and was trying to pick stuff out since I just sat there, I ended up just picking whatever the guy chose for me. I really didnt like trying on suits for a funeral since it reminded me of what was comming. Your right tough right now I feel pretty numb and don't care about alot, but I'm definently not drowning my sorrows in booze since trying to forget stuff with substances are not a good/healthy way to deal with an issue.

 

ricky man, i'm really sorry to hear about this. i used to have nightmares about being at work and then getting a call that my grandma, or one of my parents, even my sister had died. it's always a scary feeling, and when something like this happens, it just reminds you of how precious life is, and how great it is to be able to spend any amount of time with the people in your life.

being a Buddhist, i'm sure that my experience and metodology are going to be a lot different from what anyone else has to say. but i always look on it as being that death is a part of life, it is simply the moment when that person's time on this world, and in this life is over. they are special to you in some way, and so you will grieve for their loss in some way. a lot of Buddhists say that to grieve for the loss of someone is to be selfish, as all you are doing is grieving for the fact that you lost them, not that they have died. i don't see it that way though, i'm not the kind of Buddhist who thinks that enlightenment can only be found through the self. i believe that finding the self can only be done be surrouding yourself with people who matter to you, who you care about in some way. and so when those people are no longer there, whether it's because they have passed on into the next life, or because there is great physical or temporal distance between you, it is natural for you to grieve.

but you can only grieve for so long, once the sorrow that is in your heart has worked its way out, it is then up to you to find the strength to get on with your life with their absence. if you spend the rest of your life in sorrow because someone died, then you will have missed out on your life, and everything that you could have done with it. however long it takes to get over your loss, that is how long you should take, but no more.

i guess what i'm trying to say is you do what you need to do to work the pain from within you. if you need to cry, then cry, if you need to be angry, then be angry. if you just need to get drunk, then i guess go ahead and do that (not my recommendation though). just do whatever it takes, and don't stop until it's finished. but once it's finished, it's finished. drop that stone, and do not carry it with you for one more step. always remember your grandma, always remember the times spent with her, but don't cry over her for the next 45 years, i seriously doubt that she would want that any more than any of us would.

i hope this helps man.
--Aaron

 

all 3 =D


lowland scot, name unknown
irish, name Kiernan
german, name Gross

the scottish part is a abstardization of lowland scott with some welsh. this is according to the lineage test thingy that national geograph does. 100 bucks, then send u a kit to take some blood, send it in, they show you your lineage.

my aunts husband is related to 78% or ireland, slutty family i guess

 

Can't tell you how to deal with it, but only time will tell.
Just wanted to say sorry about your loss.
bill

 

Irrational - Haha I knew you had to be all 3. 1 of my friends is the same way lol

Bill- Thank you. I know time will only tell and we'll find out come wed/thurs (viewing & service) I'm going to try my hardest not to cry of course and just bite my cheek and work through it. Also good to hear from you since I haven't seen you on the boards in a LOOOONG time lol. Take care man.

Aaron - Thank you very much for your condolences I really appreciate it. Funny how you say you're buddhist since my grandma used to live in China and when she came back here she did have alot of buddist stuff around the house, primarily a buddah statue on her front porch and when she went to a convelesent home the 2nd time because she really could live on her own anymore I got her a little present that was a miniture buddah sitting on a turtle with the head of I believe a dragon and you'd put this coin in the dragon's mouth and it would bring good fortune. She was really happy that I got it for her and she kept it right next to a picture of our family and my grandfather. I did feel pretty bad that she had to live there and wasn't happy because she obviously wanted to be in her own home even tho we all offered for her to stay with one of us in our homes. When we'd visit her, even on my own without family she would bring it up and I hated telling her I didn't have any say in any of the decisions and as much as I'd love her to be with one of us she strictly wanted to be in her own home. It is hard to deal with this and I'm trying to surround myself with friends and family and not drink away my sorrows. I came home today and I saw alot of her stuff in the living room and I couldn't bear to see it so I had to leave the house. It just caused too much pain. I just feel really numb is all. Anyways enough of my rambling on. I'm going to bed since I have to get up early and want to visit my godmother, other grandma, and take my mom out to breakfast tomorrow morning as well. Loosing a grandparent is really hard obviously, but I'm going to try to spend more time with my other grandma and not make the same mistake again.
Nite all.

 

There's nothing wrong with crying. In fact, you might feel better.
Hang in there.

 

"I pointed to a heap of dust which had been swept together, and foolishly asked that I might have as many birthdays as there were grains of dust; but I forgot to ask for perpetual youth as well."

 

Definitely. When I lost my grandfather I had a serious mental breakdown about a month ago come out of nowhere on a day I felt fine. At first doctors thought it was a serious mental illness called Myesthenia Gravis and the first thing they asked me was if I had a close member of my family die. I was in shock when they asked that. Now they believe I just had a anxiety attack followed by severe vertigo caused by mental stress. I've still got some mild symptoms and they're still testing me to be sure with a neuro opthamologist.

Turns out that after talking to a neurologist friend of mine on the east coast for support during their testings, mental stress associated with a loss of a close loved one can trigger serious mental problems. It isn't uncommon so don't keep that **** inside.

 

I know what you mean Salty. I'm not having any pent up emotions or anything by any means. At the moment I don't feel the need to cry or at all not because I'm holding it back but I think I let most of it out the other day when I found out. I'm sure it will be a different story later this week.

 

Just hang in there, man. Remember the good times. Be with family. Please accept my most sincerest condolences.

 

Thanks man. I really appreciate it. I'm definently not holding anything in because I know thats definently not healthy. I'm just hanging out with friends and family at the moment. Right now I'm at work and a few people asked why I'm here and I can't be home at the moment with alot of her stuff being at our house and it would devistate me more right now so I'm trying to keep my mind off it for right now. I find the best way to deal with this situation is to keep positive and don't let it completely bring you down. It is a sad situation, but I am keeping positive.

 

also: prepare to get really sick of people talkin about it. everyone is gona say basically the same thing, two or three times, multiply that by everyone u know.... it gets old fast

 

My grandmother passed in November. I lived next to them nearly all my childhood, then moved them to Sac. I visited nearly everyday and still can't walk in their house without missing her. Just remember she's past but not forgotten.

 

Definently. I can't ever forget about her especially she always encouraged me about cars and we'd always look through my mustang magazines together.

 

That's probably the coolest thing I've ever heard about a Grandmother.