Disaster averted...my closest call yet!
12-18-2006, 10:55 PM
#1
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Disaster averted...my closest call yet!
After my wife's graduation ceremony at UC Davis, her family and the two of us drove back to our townhouse apartment for a celebratory barbeque. While prepping the burger patties, my wife asked me to take out the trash. Wouldn't ya know it, we're all out of trashbags. We're also low on milk, and a couple of people requested sliced onion for their burgers, so it was time to run over to Safeway. As I grabbed the keys to my '04 WRX, my brother-in-law decided he wants to tag-along so that he can buy a football at Big 5, so people can throw it around at the nearby park after lunch.
We cruised up to the shopping center at Covell Blvd and Hwy 113, and pulled into the parking lot. What with the recent graduation event, the lot was packed with people on mini-missions similar to my own. I hung a left at the second row of cars and tried to find a place to park. The car in front of me had stopped to let another car back-out, and there was a third car waiting in line behind me. As I looked over to my left, a middle-aged brunette finished loading her groceries, and got into her white 5yr old Toyota Camry.
I was about to turn my head back to check on the action in front of me, when I noticed that she had started her engine and put her car into reverse. I thought to myself, "Kinda jumping the gun, aren't we?" And with that thought, I realized that she was, in fact, backing up. Puzzled, I stared right at her and noticed that while she looked out her passenger front window, and then turned her head to look over her left shoulder, she hadn't checked any of her mirrors or bothered to turn her head over her right shoulder to clear the area dircetly behind her car. Which just happened to be where I was sitting.
As I thought to myself, "This woman can't possibly be THAT stupid", she proceeded to prove me wrong. Though she was riding the brakes and sloooowly backing up, she was still coming at me just like in the steamroller scene in 'Austin Powers'. I laid into my horn, and my wanna-be Supertones screamed for attention. The driver behind me hit his horn about two seconds after I did, which had the unfortunate effect of directing her attention over her left shoulder, as she continued backing up.
When her rear bumper was about 6 feet off of my door, I realized that this woman was officially brain-dead. I hit the power window button, and as the express-down feature did it's thing, I stuck both of my long gangly arms all the way out the window. As soon as her car was within reach, I began slapping her trunk lid and spoiler in an effort to grab her attention. And yet she still kept coming at me!
From inside my car, strapped-in with my belt, I started raising my hands as high as I could from my seat before slamming my hands down on her trunk lid and rear spoiler. My hands began aching and the spoiler began flexing wildly as I pounded as hard as I possibly could with open palms on the back end of her car. And yet she...
still
kept
backing
up!!!
When the Camry was two feet away, I freaked out. She was going to cave-in my door for sure, and now that my window was down, it was going to become a pile of itty-bitty pieces in the bottom of my soon-to-be crumpled door shell. In a final, desperate attempt to keep this dumb old bag from deflowering my car's collision cherry, I braced my left shoulder against the B-pillar and stuck both of my arms out against her trunk, trying in vain to straight-arm her Camry just like back in the day when I played defensive-end on the high school football team. I screamed at the top of my lungs...
"STOOOP YOOOUUU STOOOOOPIIIIID B************TCH!!!!!
And then she finally stopped. When I quickly looked down to see if anything had happened to my car, I realized that she had missed touching my door panel by TWO INCHES! She quickly threw her car into Drive and parked her car back into the original position. As I lay draped over my own door, exhausted and out of breath, she quickly stepped-out of her Camry and said, "Are you all right?!?!"
I slowly raised my head, and looking at her I wearily replied, "You almost gave me a frickin' heart attack. Thank you." With that said, I pulled myself back into my seat, drove to the end of the row, hung a U-turn around to the other side of the same row, and pulled into the third slot on the left. My brother-in-law was so stunned he was totally speechless for the next three minutes. We got out, got what we were there for, got back in my car and got the hell out of there.
OMFG, my left shoulder blade and upper arm are sooooo sore right now, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to sleep very well tonight. But now it's getting late and I had better get to bed.
G'night folks.
We cruised up to the shopping center at Covell Blvd and Hwy 113, and pulled into the parking lot. What with the recent graduation event, the lot was packed with people on mini-missions similar to my own. I hung a left at the second row of cars and tried to find a place to park. The car in front of me had stopped to let another car back-out, and there was a third car waiting in line behind me. As I looked over to my left, a middle-aged brunette finished loading her groceries, and got into her white 5yr old Toyota Camry.
I was about to turn my head back to check on the action in front of me, when I noticed that she had started her engine and put her car into reverse. I thought to myself, "Kinda jumping the gun, aren't we?" And with that thought, I realized that she was, in fact, backing up. Puzzled, I stared right at her and noticed that while she looked out her passenger front window, and then turned her head to look over her left shoulder, she hadn't checked any of her mirrors or bothered to turn her head over her right shoulder to clear the area dircetly behind her car. Which just happened to be where I was sitting.
As I thought to myself, "This woman can't possibly be THAT stupid", she proceeded to prove me wrong. Though she was riding the brakes and sloooowly backing up, she was still coming at me just like in the steamroller scene in 'Austin Powers'. I laid into my horn, and my wanna-be Supertones screamed for attention. The driver behind me hit his horn about two seconds after I did, which had the unfortunate effect of directing her attention over her left shoulder, as she continued backing up.
When her rear bumper was about 6 feet off of my door, I realized that this woman was officially brain-dead. I hit the power window button, and as the express-down feature did it's thing, I stuck both of my long gangly arms all the way out the window. As soon as her car was within reach, I began slapping her trunk lid and spoiler in an effort to grab her attention. And yet she still kept coming at me!
From inside my car, strapped-in with my belt, I started raising my hands as high as I could from my seat before slamming my hands down on her trunk lid and rear spoiler. My hands began aching and the spoiler began flexing wildly as I pounded as hard as I possibly could with open palms on the back end of her car. And yet she...
still
kept
backing
up!!!
When the Camry was two feet away, I freaked out. She was going to cave-in my door for sure, and now that my window was down, it was going to become a pile of itty-bitty pieces in the bottom of my soon-to-be crumpled door shell. In a final, desperate attempt to keep this dumb old bag from deflowering my car's collision cherry, I braced my left shoulder against the B-pillar and stuck both of my arms out against her trunk, trying in vain to straight-arm her Camry just like back in the day when I played defensive-end on the high school football team. I screamed at the top of my lungs...
"STOOOP YOOOUUU STOOOOOPIIIIID B************TCH!!!!!
And then she finally stopped. When I quickly looked down to see if anything had happened to my car, I realized that she had missed touching my door panel by TWO INCHES! She quickly threw her car into Drive and parked her car back into the original position. As I lay draped over my own door, exhausted and out of breath, she quickly stepped-out of her Camry and said, "Are you all right?!?!"
I slowly raised my head, and looking at her I wearily replied, "You almost gave me a frickin' heart attack. Thank you." With that said, I pulled myself back into my seat, drove to the end of the row, hung a U-turn around to the other side of the same row, and pulled into the third slot on the left. My brother-in-law was so stunned he was totally speechless for the next three minutes. We got out, got what we were there for, got back in my car and got the hell out of there.
OMFG, my left shoulder blade and upper arm are sooooo sore right now, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to sleep very well tonight. But now it's getting late and I had better get to bed.
G'night folks.
Last edited by Snot Rod; 12-19-2006 at 07:38 AM. Reason: censored for language... sorry mods!
12-18-2006, 11:30 PM
#4
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Originally Posted by GT35 STI
Anyone got the cliff notes version of this???
Only thing i got outa the whole thing was he wants me to stop doing something?
Only thing i got outa the whole thing was he wants me to stop doing something?
12-19-2006, 03:08 AM
#9
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Please don't circumvent the language filter, guys. Alex put it there for a reason, thanks.
I got hit while waiting in a line of cars to exit a parking lot by a driver backing out of a space without checking her mirrors or her blind spots over her shoulder. I never saw her coming, because she was backing towards my vehicle's right rear corner. I felt a 'thud', looked in my rear view and saw nothing. Looked over my right shoulder and saw that she'd already bumped my vehicle and was still pressing on the accelerator pedal in reverse. Her car had stopped when it made contact with my vehicle but instead of trying to find out why, she gives it more gas!
I exited my vehicle to check out the damage and then approached the driver to exchange information. She sat there, gazing forward and not making eye contact with me. I tapped on her window. No response. I guess she thought I'd go away if she ignored me long enough, LOL. Finally she rolls her window down about one inch. I calmly said, "Next time, LOOK before backing up."
--
0==WW==0
"…axles of evil…" - george w. bush
I got hit while waiting in a line of cars to exit a parking lot by a driver backing out of a space without checking her mirrors or her blind spots over her shoulder. I never saw her coming, because she was backing towards my vehicle's right rear corner. I felt a 'thud', looked in my rear view and saw nothing. Looked over my right shoulder and saw that she'd already bumped my vehicle and was still pressing on the accelerator pedal in reverse. Her car had stopped when it made contact with my vehicle but instead of trying to find out why, she gives it more gas!
I exited my vehicle to check out the damage and then approached the driver to exchange information. She sat there, gazing forward and not making eye contact with me. I tapped on her window. No response. I guess she thought I'd go away if she ignored me long enough, LOL. Finally she rolls her window down about one inch. I calmly said, "Next time, LOOK before backing up."
--
0==WW==0
"…axles of evil…" - george w. bush
12-19-2006, 06:08 AM
#10
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Location: Kansas - BAIC 4 LIFE!
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I would have went off on her very badly. Thank god I have supertones and they are uber loud and have scared the shiiiit outta people so far 
You need to get a set sean
You need to get a set sean
12-19-2006, 07:48 AM
#13
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holy crap I know how that goes. first time my first car got hit was some old man baking up. I honked, he stopped, then he went again, I honked again and he crunched my bumper and turn signal
good thing your car came out ok
good thing your car came out ok
12-19-2006, 08:02 AM
#15
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Originally Posted by STi deede
Wow! Stupid women drivers, eek. Maybe I should hand in my license for the betterment of mankind. On another note... I got supertones for Hanukkah!