Originally Posted by herrjr

(Hope this is not a repost - SIA if it is - enjoy)
You know you belong in this group if the follow things apply to you when you go home:

You have a 4-person family, but you own at least 6 cars ( 2 person family 3 cars)

You're driving on the 101 and see a clear cut definition of where the smog begins and ends ( I see it starting at the 15 fwy and 215)

You understand why some people call the 101 a parking Lot (hey hey norcal gets teh 101 also)

You're sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day (45 mins to be exact)

You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch (we get gay men named Nathaniel)

You see purple and gold and the word "Threepeat" on every corner (huh? don't get it?)

You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there). (I tell them I'm on the fwy already when I'm getting off the can for real)

You eat a different ethnic food for every meal (McDs, Carls, Taco Bell, Dell Taco...yup different ethnic foods.)

You make a conscious choice to watch Jay Leno over David Letterman (Conan)

You mourned for Tupac and not for Biggie [Anna Nicole Smith)[/b]

You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm. ( its not good to be on any fwy)

Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes". ( we now give a range, 20-25 minutes)

You know what neighborhood someone lives in by the degree of damage incurred during the riots. ( I know by the amount of Chinese people)

In school, you did Earthquake Drills (those were the times we would tell the girls to go under the desk and I'll hold the back of their neck down)

You've inadvertently learned Spanish.
( only to hook up with a girl or to stay out of a fight)


You've got to bring the cat/plants in when it drops to 55 degrees.
(pets ok, plants...they're plastic now)

In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
( we do this every winter)

You've bumped into a celebrity at El Pollo Loco.
( Brad Pitt, lol saw him at a laker game back in the day)

You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.
(be there as soon as I can)

If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.
( thats why I got a drivers license to begin with)

You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
(because we think there is going to be hawt girls, but instead its fat girls)

Your TV show is interrupted by a police chase. ( it's interrupted because the police chase is happening on our block)

You can't fall asleep without the lull of a helicopter flying overhead. I live in the suburbs, we have ricers)

When tourists ask where they can get souvenirs, you direct them to Venice Beach.
(Roscoes Chicken and Waffles)


You've trespassed through private property to get to the "Hollywood" sign.
(never seen it)

You've partied in Tijuana at least once.
(for less than a $100, you can hump a hooker, eat tacos, drink beer and be back at home before 1am)

You know Hollywood has a "lake".
(only when it rains)

You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
(2nd gear launch FTW)

You've lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot.
(lost it at Highlands)

You've ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.
( yea some mexican d00d name Pedro)

You think that Venice is a beach.
( is a pier)

You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.
(they look just like Camrys)

You've started crossing a street and returned to the curb when the DON'T WALK sign started flashing.
(LA drivers don't care for pedestrians)

Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
(some times country codes too, Little Saigon, China Town, Little Tokyo, Thai Town)
You have a favorite Thai restaurant.
(Phucket Thai restaurant on Beach)

You think Johnny Rocket's is an accurate depiction of a diner.
(sure it is, it's inside a mall)

You think Manhattan is a beach.
( I thought it was expensive condos by the beach)

You've been to Disneyland more times than Downtown.
(its the safest place in LA)

When giving directions , you follow up with the phrase: "With/Without traffic."
("take the 57 fwy to the 60fwy to the 605 fwy to the 10 fwy to the 101")


You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "310."

( 909 is land of the dirt people the new standard)

Driving along, you see a high-speed police chase approaching in your rear view mirror. You don't panic or even flinch. Instead, you call your friends on your car phone and tell them you're on TV.
( I then down shift to 3rd, pass them and flash my hazards)

You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
(walmart)

Your cell phone has left a permanant impression on the side of your head.
(bluetooth)

You never, ever go into the water at the Beach. You barely touch the sand.
(won't even touch a swimming pool)

Everyone you know has 3+ phone numbers. Home, Office, mobile, pager, two-way, voicemail.....
(and various i-club accounts)

It is not unusual for your waitress at a restaurant to have blue streaked hair, a dragon tattoo and tounge piercing.
(Di Vangs!)

You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: "That ain't even a 5-pointer" and go back to sleep.
( the house can be on fire the alarms going off, but the only thing that will wake us up is either that AIM noise or a cell phone)

You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.
(no idea???)

You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.
( its all the damn asian drivers who stop for no reason)

Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street.
You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, " They f*ckin better not be blocking my parking space."
( LOL'D@Eddie & Mike )


You have to yell at your bank teller through a 2 inch thick wall of plexi-glass.
(you need to be lucky if they speak english or engrish)

That last one goes for your local convenience store man, too.
(huh?)

You go to Las Vegas for a weekend getaway and the whole trip cost you $50.
( you tell me which travel package you read this)

You personally know at least 5 people with agents.
( we use the term representatives now)

You personally know at least 3 people who have been in a movie or TV show.
(myself, Ferdie, and Albert. We're all on I-club)

You know what In-N-Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
( is that a gay bar where men ask to push your stool in?)

You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
(no idea)

You've gotten parking tickets from parking in the red zone in front of your house.
(its just a warning)

You say you live in LA when really you live in a subsection of a subsection of a subsection of southern LA.
( we refer to LA as a hole not a whole)

The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
(mine looks like Angelina Jolie)

You really can never be too rich or too thin.
[/b] but the fat and poor are obvious) [/b]

The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
(gotta beat the traffic any way possible)

The workday starts at 10am...or whenever you get out of your therapy session.
( the therapy session would be sleep since we're hung over from the night before)

Any invitation comes with, "Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic."
(we' adopted the fact that we tell them at 8 and we expect them at 11)

You have never met a waiter that wasn't really an "Actor."
(met a **** star)

It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH '99"
(time to put the top up)

You call 911 and they put you on hold.
( or they'll direct you to call the local office)

The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder.
( and the car accidents start from this)

A nurse can look at you in all seriousness and ask, "you don?t drink or smoke, right?"
(and when I go outside the nurse will ask me for smoke, and offer to buy me a drink)

All the "cool gyms" allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you can?t drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window shopping?
(LA is full of pervs)

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Los Angeles.