LOO LOO knows her pimp wear

 

So bob goes to a golf course to meet his friend, when he got there his friend stood him up.

Bob goes to play with a few guys that he sees starting on the 1st hole. He meets a guy named Dave.

They play golf and are chatting away. Dave asks bob, "so what do you do for a living."

Bob says "im a professional hitman,"
Dave says " ORLY?, can i check out your gun?"
Bob says, "oh sure" and pulls out his sniper rifle
Dave looks in the rifle and says i can see my house from here!

Dave looks at his house and sees his wife cheating on him with his next door neighbor.
Dave turns to bob and says how much do you charge for a hit?
Bob says $1000 per shot.
Dave says ok i want two right now, i want you to shoot my wife in the mouth for always saying shed be true to me, and shoot my neighbor in the dick for not keeping his ****** in his pants.

After 10 mins of aiming Dave asks bob, "why are you taking so long"

bob says, "shutup give me a second i think i can save you $1000 bucks"

 

hahaha i get it hahahaha

 

A lizard is walking through the rain forest and sees a koala in a gum tree doin somthing

the lizard says, "hay you! what are you doing?" the koala says "im smoking aj oint come up and have some"

The little lizard climbs up and does just that. the tow of them talk ab it and smoke a few J's

The lizard says to the koala "i have cotton mouth i need water down at the river"

a crocodile sees him and helps him down to the bank and asks "what the hell is wrong with you mate?"

lizard says hes been smoking a joint with the koala at the gum tree

crocodile says oh man i better go check this out.

crocodile goes to the gum tree and looks at the koala and says "hey you...." and the koala looks down and says "FFFFUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK!!! MMMMMMAAAAANNN how much water did you drink!?!?"

 

Rofl!

 

a black guy walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "hi, you know i just hate drawing welfare. id really rather have a job."

"the social worker behind the counter said, "your timing is excellent we just got a job opening from a very welthy old man who wants a chauffeur and a bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. Youll have to drive around in his mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. Youll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. Youll be provided a two bedroom apartment above the garage. the starting salary is $200,000 a year"

The guy, wide eyed, said "Oh man hell yea, Your bull****tin me!"

The social worker said, "Yea, well.......you started it."






(EDIT: no offense to racial slurs, feel free to post asian jokes too =P )

 

hahahaha, man, thats f-ed up

 

guy walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm

his girlfriend stops reading and he says "honey this is the pig i screw when you have a headace"

his girlfriend looks disgusted and says "i think if you look again you will notice that is a sheep, you idiot"

and the guy replies "i think you look again you will notice that i am not talking to you"

 

REALLY NOT SO RIGHT JOKES:


a little girl is standing by the edge of a cliff crying her eyes out
this man comes over and says "whats wrong little girl?"
the little girl still crying just points over to the edge of the cliff
the man looks over the edge and sees a car with the little girls parents mangled in the rocke below
the man turns around and undoing his fly says "i guess it just aint your lucky day!!"





there was a little girl who went up to her mom and asked, "whats that?"
her mom said "a vagina"
the little girl said, "when will i get one?"
"when you get older" said the mom
then the little girl went up to the dad and asked "whats that?"
her dad said "a *****"
the little girl asked, "when will i get one"
the dad said, "when your mom goes to work!"

 

thats a bit more than "not so right"

 

a woman and a man are involved in a car accident on snowy, cold monday morning; its a bad one. both of their cars are totally demoslihed but amazingly neither of them is hurt. god works in mysterious ways.

after they crawl out of their cars, the woman says "so your a man, thats interesting. im a woman. wow just look at our cars! there nothing left but we're unhurt. this must be a sign from God that we should meet and be frieends and live together in peace for the rest of our days"

flatterd, the man replies " oh yes i gree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"

the woman continues " and look at this, heres another miracle. my car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didnt break. surely God wants u s to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. "then she hands the bottle to the man"

the man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and hands it back to the woman. the woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

the man asks "arent you having any?"

the woman replies " no i think ill just wait for the police to arrive....."

 

yea thats why i said really not so right. laugh a laugh and hate the people who actually do this more

 

hahaha, stop posting this ****! I have to go to bed!!

 

lol im done... good night!

 

haha something new to try hahah