Truths about Ruben
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Truths about Ruben
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Ruben could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Ruben has two speeds: walk and kill.
Ruben can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
It takes Ruben 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
When Ruben does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
There are in fact 31 letters of the English alphabet however only Ruben knows what the extra 5 letters are.
Ruben can believe it's not butter.
Ruben caught all 386 pokemon in just under 2.7 seconds. He says he won't trade any of them for anything.
If you look in a mirror and say "Ruben" three times, he will appear and kill your entire family... but at least you get to see Ruben.
Ruben invented cancer because he was tired of killing people.
There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Ruben.
Ruben has two speeds: walk and kill.
Ruben can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
It takes Ruben 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
When Ruben does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
There are in fact 31 letters of the English alphabet however only Ruben knows what the extra 5 letters are.
Ruben can believe it's not butter.
Ruben caught all 386 pokemon in just under 2.7 seconds. He says he won't trade any of them for anything.
If you look in a mirror and say "Ruben" three times, he will appear and kill your entire family... but at least you get to see Ruben.
Ruben invented cancer because he was tired of killing people.
There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Ruben.
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Originally Posted by Impresive-G
Hahah
wow 20 mins of 60 mins? tell me you secret
wow 20 mins of 60 mins? tell me you secret
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A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Ruben and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Originally Posted by kym
A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Ruben and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
speaking of parking
this spot is reserved for Ruben
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Originally Posted by kym
A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Ruben and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
I saw this on sat at the LA auto show
tell me the many things wrong with the pic lol
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Originally Posted by kym
If you look in a mirror and say "Ruben" three times, he will appear and kill your entire family... but at least you get to see Ruben.
I said his name 2 times before running away from the mirror.
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If you can see Ruben, he can see you. If you can't see Ruben you may be only seconds away from death.
Ruben has a word for a person he puts into a coma; that word is "lucky".
Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Ruben tendon.
Ruben can touch MC Hammer.
Ruben sleeps with a night light. Not because Ruben is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Ruben.
The sun doesn't actually rise or set. Ruben simply claps twice.
Ruben frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Ruben has a word for a person he puts into a coma; that word is "lucky".
Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Ruben tendon.
Ruben can touch MC Hammer.
Ruben sleeps with a night light. Not because Ruben is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Ruben.
The sun doesn't actually rise or set. Ruben simply claps twice.
Ruben frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
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Ruben's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Ruben does not sleep. He waits.
Ruben does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Ruben goes killing.
Ruben does not sleep. He waits.
Ruben does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Ruben goes killing.
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Originally Posted by LifePlaza
speaking of parking
this spot is reserved for Ruben
this spot is reserved for Ruben
Tim