hahahaha

i slipped on a homeless guy because thats how i roll!

 

ok...

 

what does this mean?


You're clumsy and you hang out at a shelter in East LA?

 

With him?

 

no. with hungry doraemon.

 

BORN IN EAST LA!

 

no that means im bored of my car and im drifting on a hobo..

 

ke?

 

haha only person who i can think of drifting a subaru is Franco. No way you can. lol

 

Uncomfortable survey?

Is this SUPPOSED to be uncomfortable? ...Is it hot in here or is it just me?


THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY. (lets see if you can get through it. if not, you're too scared about your past)


-Longest relationship?
*5.9 years... wtf?

-Shortest relationship?
*5'1" LOL

-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you?
*all of them, cuz I'm so loveable I guess (ya right)

-Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with?
*yeah, and then I changed my mind after she kicked my groin (figuratively speaking)

-Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?
*yeah, Korean girls can kick pretty hard... Vietnamese girls too.

-Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
*yes, because you know I'm a HARD-*** ****

-Are you happier single or in a relationship?
*face it, most of us including me want to be single when we're in a relationship, and want to be in a relationship when we're single. How's the saying go? The grass always tastes better on the other side or some ****? LOL

-Have you ever been cheated on?
*of course not, I'm so good there's no reason for my lady to cheat on me.

-What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?
*besides the vagina? LOL

-Have you ever had your heart broken?
*of course. in fact, it's been broken so many times I should be dead by now.

-Have you ever broken someone's heart?
*yes, with my DIM MAK (death touch!)

-Talk to any of your exes?:
*yeah, but only when they want something from me.

-If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes, would you?
*yes, but I would change it so I could be with all of them at the same time, and live in Saudi Arabia like a rich oil shiek and have them fan me with a palm leaf and feed me grapes LOL

-Think any of your exes feel the same way?
*probly not, they got better stuff to do.

-Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?:
*yeah, but I wish I could be a bad boyfriend, cuz they always get more HOT CHICKS with low self-esteem!

-Have you dated people who were not good to you?
*yeah, and then I gave them the DIM MAK (death touch)

-Have you been in an abusive relationship?
*All men who have dated Korean or Vietnamese women have been in an abusive relationship

-Have you dated someone older then you?
*yeah, yo sistah and yo mama

-Younger?
*oh yeah!

-Do you regret anything that you have done with a boyfriend or girlfriend?
* yes.... maybe I shouldn't have given the DIM MAK (death touch) to that one girl for eating my french fries.

-Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
* yes. but my lady should give me at least 4-5 chances, since I'm kinda hard headed.

-Believe in love at first sight?
*no. But I believe in lust at first sight, rowr!

-Ever dated two people at once?
*sure. My dad told me "You hab to be fast wit da women! Like Sean Connery!"

-Ever been given an Engagement ring?
*no. I got a blow-pop ring once though... it was cherry flavored.

-Do you want to get married?
*sure, if my dream girl doesn't show up in my life I'll just order my bride from Russia, or the Philippines... as long as I can return her if I'm not 100% satisfied, like the commercial says.

-Do you have something to say to any of your exes?
*I want my european-style swimsuit back! and gimme back my donkey show pictures!

-Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?
*nah, thats shady. I don't mow another guys lawn!

-Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?
*of course... you know I wish that I had Jesse's girl! I wish I had Jesse's girl! Why can't I have a wumman like that?

-Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?
*yes, it's a feeling similar to heartburn, or acid-reflux. Except, theres no medicine available to relieve the pain.

 

thats soooo true see katrina

and funny

 

haha i wish i had sound bites from her and i

she once told me "you make me feel like a piece of meat"

and

"i have never had anyone made me feel like more of a *****"

 

I dance with A condom Because i'm horny