DUTY #3: FALL ON A GRENADE
War ain’t pretty, and neither is “the friend”? This is your mission.
Situation: Your gunner has successfully engaged a sexy MIG (mighty interesting girl) at the bar. But danger lurks in the form of her booty-faced Klingon copilot, a bitter she-ape who’ll do or say anything to disrupt his flight plan. Remember, wingmen: If you’re not with him, you’re against him.
The mission: Once a pilot locks onto a MIG encumbered in this fashion, it’s up to his wingman to engage the bogey and remove her from the theater of operation. Feigning interest—buying her drinks, laughing at her stupid jokes, offering to read her hoof—may suffice to pull her aside, but if necessary, the wingman should be prepared to take her to bed (otherwise known as trekking the Ho She Man Trail) and bend the laws of God and man. If you find yourself saddled, literally, with such a mission, simply close your eyes, suit up (a biohazard suit is recommended), and get ready to fire in the hole. Needless to say, the pal benefiting from this sacrifice must keep his wingman’s awful secret until death; he also owes his suffering friend one beer for every one-to-10 point of attractiveness separating his beauty and your beast.
Win: Medal of on Her, for Valor Above and Beyond the Call of Booty

Originally posted by IS2Scooby
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