How to make your asian girlfriend happy:
Thread Starter
Pr0n King
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 26,618
From: The Land of Rocks
Car Info: Turncoat Turbo
How to make your asian girlfriend happy:
1. Be RICH. This is important for you, but not for her. For her the number two rule follows.
2. Spend MONEY on HER. This is the most important thing for her, whether you are rich, have any money, or must lie, steal, or kill to do it.
3. Be TALL. Of course you have no real control over this, but if you don't do it, she will secretly and forever resent you for it and it will come out of left field to smite you. Preferably be about one foot taller than her - not for comfort or aesthetics, but because you are a trophy and, as always, the bigger the better.
4. Be a MINDLESS ZOMBIE RULED BY HER. Forget what you've heard about submissive Asian women. They actually rule every relationship with insidious and painful, passive-aggressive, guilt-evoking, whiny, crying mind-control.
5. Have the EMOTIONAL STABILITY OF A 4-YEAR-OLD. She will be impressed and enraptured by your delight at the sight of Hello Kitty, stuffed animals, puppies, kitties, duckies, bunnies, as well as chocolates, shiny jewelry and other trinkets and knick-knacks. Also, she will understand perfectly well if you pout over the smallest perceived slight or slip and demand to be appeased, assuaged, or made up to. If you behave any other way, she will never understand it.
6. Dress like a PRETTY-BOY GEEK. This will save her the trouble of replacing your wardrobe and dressing you, herself.
7. Remove EVERY HAIR ON YOUR BODY EXCEPT THOSE ON YOUR SCALP. The sight of a whisker on your face reminds her that somewhere inside you, something is trying to grow. You must not grow - you must be as unchanging and constant as the firmament.
8. There are NO MORE RULES to making your Asian girlfriend eternally happy. If any situation arises which you feel the rules have not addressed, you are mistaken - immediately refer to the primary rules #1 and #2 - they are the solution in every such case.
2. Spend MONEY on HER. This is the most important thing for her, whether you are rich, have any money, or must lie, steal, or kill to do it.
3. Be TALL. Of course you have no real control over this, but if you don't do it, she will secretly and forever resent you for it and it will come out of left field to smite you. Preferably be about one foot taller than her - not for comfort or aesthetics, but because you are a trophy and, as always, the bigger the better.
4. Be a MINDLESS ZOMBIE RULED BY HER. Forget what you've heard about submissive Asian women. They actually rule every relationship with insidious and painful, passive-aggressive, guilt-evoking, whiny, crying mind-control.
5. Have the EMOTIONAL STABILITY OF A 4-YEAR-OLD. She will be impressed and enraptured by your delight at the sight of Hello Kitty, stuffed animals, puppies, kitties, duckies, bunnies, as well as chocolates, shiny jewelry and other trinkets and knick-knacks. Also, she will understand perfectly well if you pout over the smallest perceived slight or slip and demand to be appeased, assuaged, or made up to. If you behave any other way, she will never understand it.
6. Dress like a PRETTY-BOY GEEK. This will save her the trouble of replacing your wardrobe and dressing you, herself.
7. Remove EVERY HAIR ON YOUR BODY EXCEPT THOSE ON YOUR SCALP. The sight of a whisker on your face reminds her that somewhere inside you, something is trying to grow. You must not grow - you must be as unchanging and constant as the firmament.
8. There are NO MORE RULES to making your Asian girlfriend eternally happy. If any situation arises which you feel the rules have not addressed, you are mistaken - immediately refer to the primary rules #1 and #2 - they are the solution in every such case.
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Joined: Dec 2002
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From: Cali
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1. Be RICH. This is important for you, but not for her. For her the number two rule follows.
-Hmm, well not really, especially after spending money on the car.
2. Spend MONEY on HER. This is the most important thing for her, whether you are rich, have any money, or must lie, steal, or kill to do it.
-hmm again, i spend more money on my car...
3. Be TALL. Of course you have no real control over this, but if you don't do it, she will secretly and forever resent you for it and it will come out of left field to smite you. Preferably be about one foot taller than her - not for comfort or aesthetics, but because you are a trophy and, as always, the bigger the better.
-Got that covered. Im 6'4" shes 4'11".
4. Be a MINDLESS ZOMBIE RULED BY HER. Forget what you've heard about submissive Asian women. They actually rule every relationship with insidious and painful, passive-aggressive, guilt-evoking, whiny, crying mind-control.
-Yeah what happened to all the rumors about submissiveness.
6. Dress like a PRETTY-BOY GEEK. This will save her the trouble of replacing your wardrobe and dressing you, herself.
-Um nope, wont do it...
7. Remove EVERY HAIR ON YOUR BODY EXCEPT THOSE ON YOUR SCALP. The sight of a whisker on your face reminds her that somewhere inside you, something is trying to grow. You must not grow - you must be as unchanging and constant as the firmament.
-Genes pretty much took care of this for me. I did finally grow a single chest hair so Im pretty happy.
-Hmm, well not really, especially after spending money on the car.
2. Spend MONEY on HER. This is the most important thing for her, whether you are rich, have any money, or must lie, steal, or kill to do it.
-hmm again, i spend more money on my car...
3. Be TALL. Of course you have no real control over this, but if you don't do it, she will secretly and forever resent you for it and it will come out of left field to smite you. Preferably be about one foot taller than her - not for comfort or aesthetics, but because you are a trophy and, as always, the bigger the better.
-Got that covered. Im 6'4" shes 4'11".
4. Be a MINDLESS ZOMBIE RULED BY HER. Forget what you've heard about submissive Asian women. They actually rule every relationship with insidious and painful, passive-aggressive, guilt-evoking, whiny, crying mind-control.
-Yeah what happened to all the rumors about submissiveness.
6. Dress like a PRETTY-BOY GEEK. This will save her the trouble of replacing your wardrobe and dressing you, herself.
-Um nope, wont do it...
7. Remove EVERY HAIR ON YOUR BODY EXCEPT THOSE ON YOUR SCALP. The sight of a whisker on your face reminds her that somewhere inside you, something is trying to grow. You must not grow - you must be as unchanging and constant as the firmament.
-Genes pretty much took care of this for me. I did finally grow a single chest hair so Im pretty happy.
Staff Member
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Posts: 3,644
From: She's so hot, I'd tongue-punch her in the fartbox
Car Info: 2001 RSTi Widebody
Originally posted by Scubaru
Im TRYING to stop the hair growing process.
HNA!?! Right Ditchhanger?
-scu
Im TRYING to stop the hair growing process.
HNA!?! Right Ditchhanger?
-scu
Originally posted by Scubaru
Ds baruuuu, she got plenty o' shanks my friend........ more than enough for all of us....
Ds baruuuu, she got plenty o' shanks my friend........ more than enough for all of us....
Staff Member
iTrader: (16)
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Posts: 3,644
From: She's so hot, I'd tongue-punch her in the fartbox
Car Info: 2001 RSTi Widebody
Boy oh boy am I glad she's in Kaua'i right now...if she read this...then...I...would...hell...I dunno...prolly get shanked...
Registered User
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Posts: 1,051
From: In Dad's garage.
Car Info: MY02 GD WAGON, MY87 AW11
Originally posted by ds baruuuuu
true dat why do you think im so nice around her dont wanna catch a shank in the kindey or something
true dat why do you think im so nice around her dont wanna catch a shank in the kindey or something
-scu
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