Hey guys, was hoping to get a little bit of feedback from the community about a recent problem that has been really stressing me out the past few days. Here are the details (I'll try and keep it as short and as concise as possible):

-I recently moved to a new residence with a kid that I went to school/worked with. I only knew him for 1 semester prior to moving into his house.

-He was the only one living in the residence and was the only person on the lease. I rented out the guest bedroom in a fairly informal month to month basis.

-basically things went sour after just 2 months and I moved out because this guy is straight crazy. On top of that, I know he has at least one gun and he has revealed to me some of the violent things he has done in the past.

-he has sent me text messages since I have moved out saying, "if you do any harm to me, know that there will be repercussions" and I didn't really respond to it and then sent me subsequent messages asking me if I understood what he said and then proceeded to tell me if I didn't tell him that, "I understand" he won't give me my security deposit back

-this all has really been very traumatizing because I know that I am not in the wrong, and I am definitely one to stand my ground and stand up for myself, but at the same time, he knows where my family lives and I don't doubt that he could potentially inflict harm on myself or my family in retaliation.

-I have spoken to a couple people from my university, including a counselor but right now I am just really torn with emotions. On one hand, I want to go to the proper authorities and alert them, but at the same time, if anything happened to him (i.e. arrested, kicked out of school) he would know it was me. I'm honestly seriously considering purchasing a firearm to protect my family and myself

-A the same time, it is very difficult for myself to hold my composure whenever I think about him, I automatically get enraged and I honestly don't know what I would do if I saw him outside of school. I want very much to just shrug it off and move on with my life, but being that we work together and see each other on campus from time to time, makes it a little bit more difficult.

I'm sorry that this isn't written in the most coherent manner, I've just been through an immense amount of stress these past few days and this is just adding to everything. I really would appreciate some serious feedback from the community. Thank you.

 

How much was your security deposit? do you need it badly? if not move on.

 

Just tell him "hey man, it's a bummer it didn't work out for us, I won't harm you in any way you're a good guy (not really IMO lol...) and lets just both move on."
I would say something like that, if buying a fire arm is practical for your other needs, may as well. I plan on owning one when I own a home one day just as protection against anyone who comes in my home unwelcomed (intruder or anything) more as an intimidation factor, I do not wish to shoot anyone haha but if it comes to that it comes to that.
Good luck man! Any help you need I can give advice haha.
Stay strong

 

Remember, money can always be replaced. I'd try to make amends with whatever is left.

 

Plus 1 money can always be replaced your life can't

 

So what's the issue? Your afraid if you ask for your deposit back you'll get shot? Just ask nicely the first time and get your deposit, if he refuses take it to court if its worth doing so. If anything contact the police about him having a gun and you fearing for your life about an idle threat he text you.

 

^That. Next time you get a text from him have a random friend, even a girl call back and ask why he keeps sending her these threats, calls, and texts and that she doesn't even know him and why? *You don't have your own voice on your voicemail do ya? If so, change it. Better yet, just change your #, heck I have had to do that myself a few years back b/c of a wackjob staffer I had to fire. Told P.D. and that was the end of it.

As far as any inner-conflict you have about what you may or may not know versus what you were told by him (*possible truths versus possibly outright lies) what he's done, that's on your conscience. Me I don't back down, if I catch a bullet b/c I followed my beliefs and faith so be it. Too many people are chicken-poop these days and it's why the world sucks, IMHO.

*Psycho wack-jobs tend to exaggerate their ego's to build themselves up to cope with their insecurities. It's one of the phases of the Criminal Mindset. Distance yourself carefully, despite what I have said above.

 

Damn that's some tough luck dude!! Sorry to hear.. I doubt there's many of those types at foothill lol.. Just wondering man where'd you transfer to?

And treat one as you'd want to be treated and I'm sure you'll be fine even if he is cray

 

Thanks for all the responses and support. The security deposit is not the main issue.

The issue that I am most concerned with is:

1) the fact that he knows where my family lives.

2) I didn't really relay this well enough in my initial post, but he has some "business" that I know about. Only a very very small group of people who he trusts (and believe me, he it takes a longgg time to gain his trust) are aware of. If anything happens to his business or to him, he will automatically link my name to it, whether it is true or not. That is what I am most concerned about. (Why I am hesitant to get any authorities involved as well)

Unfortunately this is all such a complex situation, it is very hard to give specifics, so I apologize for that.

 

hey man, I'm at SJSU right now.

and that's the thing… anybody who knows me well enough knows that I treat people the way I would like to be treated. It is a simple motto that I live by. his trust/anxiety/paranoia mixed with his inability to control his stress (which ultimately leads to rage) is really what contributed to the downfall of our relationship.

 

sounds like if you are truly concerned for your family you should forfeit the deposit and keep your mouth shut. If you are worried about your family don't go calling the police on the guy if he has some illegal business because he is stealing your deposit. You want to be done and finished with a person like this as quickly as possible.

 

I honestly wouldn't worry too much about the security deposit.

I'd basically tell him you're sorry you had to move out. You have no plans to do him any harm and understand. Leave it at that and stay away from the dude.

If he keeps contacting and threatening you I would go to the police station. Tell them what you saw in his home and how he was acting. Show them the string of texts. Get a restraining order.

The answer isn't always go out and get a gun. You need to know how to use one and you need to know without a shadow of a doubt that you would use it. Otherwise it will do you more harm than good.

On one hand it seems wise to let folks know how irrational he is acting just because of recent events (last 10 years) and people blowing and shooting people. But on the other hand there is self preservation.

Get yourself clear of this dude if at all possible. Then send a letter to someone at the school or the police department outlining his behavior. Ask to be left out of it for your personal safety.

 

Your fam is pretty much the priority here. I'd just stfu but let him know that if he keeps tryin' to punk you around that you'll do anything to defend your life and your families.

The other idealist side is being a man about it and taking him off the streets by having the cops take care of everything. But unless he's got really red handed ****, he'll be out in no time and you'll have to worry.

 

I hear you. It's tough man. Right now I've definitely had to swallow my pride throughout this whole ordeal just for the sake of my family and myself. You don't know how badly I want to say to him or do something, but I know that isn't smart.

The thing is about him is.. he's a real big f*ckin p*ssy. A little weenie wanna be thug that I could send to the hospital in a heart beat. He just thinks he's tough sh*t cuz of his "business", his possessions, and the fact that he has guns and isn't afraid to use em.

I'm most definitely trying to stay as far away from him as possible but our paths often cross on campus (and potentially in the future) due to us both pursuing the same major.

I mean, I don't wanna be a snitch and rat him out or anything... I just want safety for my family, first and foremost. Like I was saying earlier, I at least have been having dialog with a counselor a couple of my professors just because at the time this all started to unfold, I was under a great amount of stress. So at least I have some record with the school.

But really right now, one of my biggest fears is that something will "happen" to his "business" and he will automatically think I am behind it. Like I was saying, he is ULTRA paranoid and has major trust issues along with terrible anxiety. He literally gets panic attacks when he thinks his "business" could be compromised (i.e. I called him one time to tell him that there was a fire truck parked outside and he started freaking the F out thinking that something was burning at our house, even though I told him it was for a different house at the end of the block.)

If someone ends up jacking him, I guarantee you I will be high up, if not number one, on his list of suspects. He will want retribution. THAT, scares me.

 

You jus gotta tell him"dude Relax your a cool guy things just arn't working out for me I have a lot of things going on right now that's are personal I helped you out now help me out" somthin like that your in a tuff spot ether do that or jus ignore him entirely and if he confronts you jus tell him a lot of problems going on and you don't really need him adding to it it's whatever in a semi nice way people are crazy now a days Jedi mind tricks only works somtimes in real life lol