Submitted for the approval of i-club, I call this story, the tale of When DTF Goes Bad.*


Prologue

I had plans for a pretty awesome Thursday night. My friends; Donald, Nicole, Elaine and myself, had made plans to go to a rave in San Francisco. I was stoked because i have Thursday nights off and there was an awesome DJ scheduled to preform. However, few days prior, Nicole bails. I was kinda bummed, but whatever mother****er. After I hear of Nicole's bail I contact Christy and invite her. She has to work. I'm hella bummed. A single **** may have been given.

Thursday finally rolls around. I wake up around 6:30. I send Donald a text asking him when he wants to meet up and head out to the rave. I then proceed to eat some dinner. I come back to my phone and see that I have gotten a reply from Donald. He says that 9:45 would be a good time, I reply back to confirm. Just before 7:00 I grab some clothes and proceed to SSS**.

Around 7:30 I come back into my room and see that I have a missed call from Richard at 7:07. I call him back. He asks me what I am doing tonight. I tell him about my rave plans. He asks if I would like to do anything before then. I decline, saying that I'd rather play some Forza*** since I have a solid 2 hours to get some **** done.

9:00 rolls around, I am kicking *** and taking names in Forza, and the doorbell rings. I'm not expecting anyone so I don't move. The doorbell rings again. What the ****. I pause the game and answer the door. It's Donald and Sabrina. They want to got grab some drinks before heading up to the rave. I accept and turn off everything and head out with them.

The bar is within walking distance but I decide to drive figuring that we would be going to the rave after we leave the bar.

While en-route to the bar Donald tells me that Elaine has sorta bailed on the rave. I ask for detail and he tells me that we are to give her a ride to SF so she can go on a date with Sideshow Bob****. I'm kinda bummed but zero ****s were given. However, this news meant that it would be just be Donald and I going to the rave and that is a severe lack of Vag.

We get to the bar. At the bar we meet with Richard and Ben. Yes, same Richard who I called earlier. We order some drinks and Richard, Ben, and Sabrina are trying to convince Donald and I to not go to the rave and just go drinking. Both Donald and I are not really stoked on going to the rave any more since the plan seems to be falling apart. Donald pulls out a coin and offers to flip it. We flip the coin and as a result we decide to skip the rave. A new plan is now set in motion.

New plan is to continue to drink at my place and get inebriated. Ben, Richard, and Sabrina take a walk to a liquor store to get some booze. Donald, and I head out to get Elaine. And we all meet back at my place. At this time Ben invites Susan. We find out that Susan is hanging out with James. We dislike James, we like Susan more than we dislike him.

On the way to get Elaine, Donald finds out that we are her plan B. She had plans to hang out with some other people but those fell through and she is going to hang out with us. We pick her up and she come out in a mini skirt and fishnets ready for a rave. We tell her the change of plans and she goes back and gets a pair of jeans. She seems kinda excited about the change of activities. On the way to my house, Donald calls Ben to get a status on what they are doing. Bear tells us that Sabrina, Richard, and himself are now with Susan going to Jack in the Box and asks if we want anything. Elaine wants an Oreo Milkshake.

Donald, Elaine, and I get back to my place, we are first back. Waiting sucks. We decide to make a run to Donald's place and grab more booze. We return from Donald's place to find Sabrina, Richard, and Ben waiting out front. Susan is with James parking her car at her house since it is within walking distance.



PARTY TIME

We ended up with 8 people. Ben, Donald, Elaine, James, Richard, Sabrina, Susan, and myself. Ben is a bartender so he is doing his thing and mixing up some bomb *** drinks. As a group we do some Jager Bombs and shots of 190 proof Everclear. Because we are ****ing savage like that. Elaine knows how to give some good massages and Richard ****ing loves massages so that **** happens instantly. I set-up my craptop to play some movies/music and the tunes start bumping. Susan, Sabrina, James, and Donald are just kicking it, talking, telling/making jokes, doing **** you do at parties. Everyone is drinking and getting intoxicated.

Susan and Elaine start talking about each other's pants and how much they like them. They decide that they want to trade pants. They go to the bathroom and do the swap. Susan is now wearing Elaine's pants and Elaine is wearing Susan's pants.

After a while Richard decides he wants to go home. We ridicule him and call him a ***got because he is one*****. I pull out a mug and a deck of cards and tell him that we are about to play some King's Cup! (This ***got loves King's Cup.) He agrees to stay only if everyone plays. Everyone agrees to play and Richard stays.

During the game Elaine and Donald are sitting next to each other. Donald is ****ing hammered and is getting pretty touchy. Susan shows he concern. Elaine tells us that she is ok with it and that she is kind of in a frisky mood since she was initially planning on getting some tonight. She then proceeds to make out with Donald. Errybody shocked.

Elaine turns back around. Then proceeds to kiss Sabrina. Ben, who is sitting between Elaine and Sabrina gets in on a 3-way kiss. After the kiss he tells everyone they since he was just in a 3-way kiss that his boss now owes him a drink. We convince Ben that his boss won't believe him unless there is a picture. Ben gives his phone to Richard to take a picture and they 3 kiss again. Richard fails at taking the picture. They all kiss a third time.

Then Elaine starts to make out with Sabrina. Susan is jealous and expresses her feelings. Elaine then goes over and kisses Susan. Richard, who is sitting between Elaine and Susan is shocked, and shows it. Elaine then gives Richard a kiss. I exclaim, "Holy ****ing ****!" and Elaine then comes my way and gives me a kiss. Damn.

James is ****ing frozen. Probably because he is a ***got.******

We try to continue the game of King's Cup, but at Donald and Elaine continue to make out more and more aggressively it becomes difficult.

Elaine and Devid stop for a minute. Elaine asks is there is a room they can go to. I know exactly what this means. The only room available is mine and I am not down with giving that up.

Eventually the game is abandoned. Richard walks home. Ben goes with Richard because his car is there and he is sober enough to go to get his car and come back. Susan, Sabrina, James, and myself decide to get a game of pool going. I realize that my Cue is in my room so I go grab it. When I get back to the main room, Donald and Elaine and dry humping on the floor next to where we played Kings Cup. This is very distracting. I decide to let them use my room. I ended up carrying******* Elaine to my room. I lay he down on my bed, Donald lays next to her. I toss them a condom. I didn't give a **** at that point.

I come out of my room and everyone else is gone. I figure that they must be walking down to Susan's place because she wanted to smoke and she left her cigs in her car. I catch up to Sabrina, Susan, and James. just chilling with them in front of Susan's place. Ben figures **** out and arrives shortly after I do. I tell everyone the Donald and Elaine are probably hooking up in my bed. I'm not upset, just disappointed. Sabrina keeps telling me that I am a good friend. Then I get a text from Donald. Elaine threw up. All over my room.


****...


Susan and James decide that they want to stay at Susan's place and call it a night. Sabrina, Ben, and myself head back to my place. I get back to my room to find Donald and Elaine lying on the floor (still clothed, thankfully) with puke everywhere. We get them into the bathroom. Since the night is over, and apparently Ben can't handle puke, he strats cleaning up the bar. Sabrina and I begin to clean the puke. There are two big spots on the rug, and a pair of sandals (mine) and one shoe (Elaine's) covered. I have worked two years at an amusement part so puke doesn't even phase me anymore. I can see that Sabrina is having a hard time. I break it down to two tasks, the shoes and the rug. I give her the option to pick. She picks the rug and I begin to clean the shoes. Shortly after she come back and decides that she wants the shoes(lol). The **** gets cleaned.

Everything is cleaned and Elaine is still hanging over the toilet. Donald is with her keeping her conscious. After a while Donald has to pee. Elaine is kind of on top of him so he rolls her over and goes to the other bathroom. After she rolls over I notice that she has puke all over her pants. No wait... Susan's pants!



Donald gets back and Elaine starts mumbling something to him. He asks her to say it again and she speaks up and she says, still drunk and covered in puke, "I still want to **** you." I'm stunned, Donald chuckles and flips me off.

**** this. I go the other room where Ben and Sabrina are. I show them my text lulz and tell them what Elaine said. They laugh at the texts but are shocked by Elaine. Ben has come up with a plan to call a cab (he doesn't want to get puke in his car) to take Donald and Elaine to Donald's place and Sabrina and Him will follow so that they can get Donald and Elaine out of the cab and inside. It sounds like a good plan. Ben calls a cab and we all head outside to wait for it.

While outside, Elaine continues to puke a little bit more, Donald still holding her and taking care of her. During this time Elaine really begins to sober up. She starts to realize what happened. She starts bawling and apologizing. We keep telling her that it is ok, this **** happens, it's going to be ok. She starts to calm down and all is good. After a bit she then looks up and Donald and tells him that she still wants to have sex. Donald declines and offers to do the deed in the morning. Elaine tells him that she doesn't want to wait till morning she wants to do it now. Sabrina, Ben, and I just stare at each other.

WHAT THE ****!?!??!

Then the cab arrives, we get Donald and Elaine in the cab. Ben and Sabrina get in Ben's car and take off with the cab following them. I cleaned off the sidewalk, head back inside, turn off the lights and clean up a few last things and now I am here writing this.

What a night...



* I have been watching too much Are You Afraid of the Dark.
** ****, Shave, and Shower for those not in the know.
*** Forza 4 is ****ing awesome.
****The guy's name isn't Sideshow Bob he just looks like Sideshow Bob. We knew his name and one point in time, but we just call him Sideshow Bob.
********got in the sense that he is being lame. He's not homosex.
******Seriously, we don't like James.
*******This should have been a red flag.

 

Sounds like one hell of a night but I still gotta do it.

 

 

 

ttiwwop.

 

 

 

 

Jebus that was a lot of reading. No sexors for you either at least you had your Forza

 

 

All this and nobody got laid??

 

I read this hoping that it would be either exciting, or funny like the "cheating girlfriend" thread...but this was extremely disappointing...sounded like a weak night with a friends that can't make up their mind and a girl who couldn't handle her liquor?

I had crazier nights in high school haha

 

sounds like a fun night!

 

This is easily the second best post I have ever read on the internet, second only to 'Jeepforums girlfriend asking for help'.

 

This should have been the first response.