I enrolled in a math class at Berkeley City College that has lots of people in it, so many that one or two still sits on the floor during lecture after adding period ended. I get to class 30mins early (earliest possible due to time constraint), and even then there's only a seat or two left. Gotta take whatever is left.

So I made some intro to a few classmates because I happen to sit by them for the first couple class days, which is all the way in the back. All five of us walk out of campus together and we all clicked in terms of things to talk and joke about, even got to the point of exchanging numbers with one of them because me and her happen to take BART home together to a certain point.

Recently, I got seats far away from them (much better view of the professor's lecture anyways and I'm more focused), as they were able to arrive way earlier than I could. It's a 2.5hr class, and during break, I'm usually studying by myself (it's a busy semester), so I don't usually go up to them to chat. I probably should, but I've been more studious than sociable lately because I'm trying to get good grades to transfer since I'm taking too damn long already.

I did befriend a few people around me, but they're not as consistently accepting than the other group.

After class, we still walk together out of campus and still take BART with her (don't matter as much anymore since she has another friend whom she ditched me and I didn't exist that one moment), but usually I have to catch up to them. Recent events made it more awkward. Last week, when they went to coffee, as they went by me, they didn't say anything to me, and I didn't notice. They're not the type to ignore someone they met, neither, but I guess I'm wrong. This week, I had to leave early due to a home emergency. After the emergency was taken care of, I texted my classmate apologies that I left early, and I also needed to see the very important notes I missed. No reply since then, and tomorrow is the exam.

So this week, one week of not talking with them, and I already feel alone. I don't want to force it if it's not meant to be, but I also want to make sure it's not my stubbornness and pride that's keeping me from making friends. Because my personality also includes that I do not forcefully go out of my way to talk to people when I don't feel like it or in this case if the window is not presented (unless it's an emergency, then I charge up the next hill to help) because I fear they may mistaken my action as desperate (this obviously don't apply at clubs or car meets, since the whole point of them is socializing). This is not the first time it's happened, and usually I end up isolated so please advise accordingly on how I should respond and react to this situation, before it gets too awkward to talk to them ever again (they are good people), and this will help me in the future too. I'm also aware friends come and go, but expanding my network and meeting and making new friends are also a great thing.

Also having to commute an hour one-way just for this one class (but very important to my major) is stressful, let alone my busy busy schedule so the last thing I need is to feel isolated as I'm usually an outgoing, but quiet person.

Any advice and assessment appreciated

 

TL;DR At least it's not at a graveyard.

(Many probably do not understand at all)

 

That depends on your main priorities. Are you in school to learn and contribute to your career? Or obtain short term social acceptance and get your ego stroked? It looks like you already know the answer, just need a friendly confirmation.

It appears your classmates cannot understand and support your ambition to do well in class. Awesome. Why are you still wasting time on them? Is that really the type of network you want to establish? If anything, make friends with the professor and/or their assistant(s) instead. You will be amazed how few students don’t network with faculty (at least in my undergrad). Ask yourself, 1 or 2 years down the line, are you going to regret more not having coffee with bunch of schmucks or not doing well in class that’s important to your major?

Unless you are born with Lexus keys in your hand; accomplishing things takes a lot of individual effort, sacrifices, dedication, and trial and error. That’s just the reality of the adult world. Yes, sometimes it means not being social, yes it means juggling multiple things, yes it means not being in your comfort zone. You just have to keep at it. There are 6 billion people in the world. You will not be able to please them all. Though that’s not what the majority of the current crop of millenials seem to believe…

If you are worried about stress or feeling isolated; look into other ways to be social. For example, MeetUp.com has groups that meet up for various shared passions and interests.

EDIT: If I sound like an old fart, probably because I am That's my 2 rubles for what it is worth.

 

You did not bother to read, yet you bothered to take the time to make a useless troll post. ****ing millenials. Attention span of a fruit fly. No one like the tuna around here.

 

Thanks for the advice, old man

Well, you're right. I'm acting a bit spoiled by posting this, but it's nice to get confirmation that I'm not missing out on anything because obviously once in awhile I do get sucked into this social circle drama unnecessarily. I work (or try to work) very hard to do what needs to be done, which does get sour results more often than we'd like to, but that is the name of the game as you pointed out. This may have happened before, but this social problem rarely happens to me since most of the people I talk with in my primary campus are friendly and cooperative. I don't usually like piggybacking off of people when I try to reach my own long-term goals, but it's nice to have some kind of social support too.

The world is changing a lot, but I like to cling to some of the more traditional social ways myself

Meh, I got i-club and iwsti as my online meet-up social media

 

No, spoiled would mean being a whiny entitled little ***** complaining that the the world is not fair to them, pushing responsibility onto the other party and generally not wanting to have a realistic account of things. That's not what I read. At the end of the day, we are all human. We all have insecure moments and doubts. Sometimes we need to be told we are not crazy. Unfortunately, most people nowadays have the "TL;DR" attitude towards their peers...until it is their turn to need a pat on the back.

Again, I can rant on some more, but I will just sound old Good luck!

 

Wow I honestly thought this post was going to end up in a Fresh Prince of Bel-Air twist! Darn it!!



Ill be honest man, Ive been in college for a while and have networked equally as long. Don't get too tied up or attached. Just keep things simple. Theres a difference between networking/acquaintances and making lasting friendships.

If you just want to pass the class and get info on notes or lecture updates if you happen to be MIA, just keep it at a level where you can contact your classmates for info on that a lone. Don't act like you are feeding off of them and don't abuse, just make sure you do show up to class and if you happen to be out a few days its fine.

If you are trying to make friends with everyone you meet, and I mean friendships, thats up to you as a person and how capable your socializing skills are.

To be short, you're over thinking it. I think you're being a little tooo studious if you had to think about this this much.... lol. If they ignore you, find/engage another group and get what you need.

 

PMing you lol. You have no clue....

I did read it lol.

 

Yea stop ranting. TLDR.

 

 

"No new friends. No new friends" - Drake

 

I'm surprised the school hasn't had a visit from the fire marshal for that. Or maybe back when I was in school, they took any excuse they could get to kick people out classes while trying to crash them.

 

You isolated yourself and then got your feelings hurt when they ignored you. You don't have to be someones best friend, just a simple hello, bye, smile, how are you doing will make you sociable enough to copy their notes when you need them lol.

 

I don't get this thread at all....Im not college type folk. But you are in a class full of strangers and you are worried that the other strangers aren't being as friendly as they were...and not sharing notes?

And is this still a car forum?

 

Trust me. There's other things I've heard of from him....