Anybody got any Russian/Soviet Union (or any Eastern European) jokes?

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Old Aug 10, 2010 | 02:12 PM
  #1  
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Anybody got any Russian/Soviet Union (or any Eastern European) jokes?

Just keeping the trend going! Russian, Polish, whatever jokes...

-----------------------------------------

Doctor: This medicine is from insomnia, this one is from nervous break-down, and also take this one from depression.

Patient: Thank you very much, doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides vodka?

-----------------------------------------

What is 150 yards long and eats potatoes?

A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat.

-----------------------------------------

What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User's Manual?

The bus and train timetables.

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How do you relate to the Soviet government?

Like a wife: part habit, part fear and wish to God I had a different one.

-----------------------------------------

These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.

A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"

The Saudi says, "Excuse me, what's a shortage?"

The Russian says, "Excuse me, what's meat?"

The North Korean says, "Excuse me, what's an opinion?"

The New Yorker, says, "Excuse me? What's excuse me?

-------------------------------------------
Old Aug 10, 2010 | 02:38 PM
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These threads should be consolidated into the black joke thread and rename it to racist jokes. too many threads.
Old Aug 10, 2010 | 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted by skeeler
These threads should be consolidated into the black joke thread and rename it to racist jokes. too many threads.
and that means lots of blind Asians....
________
Oregon dispensaries

Last edited by kyoung05; Mar 30, 2011 at 11:24 AM.
Old Aug 10, 2010 | 02:48 PM
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Originally Posted by kyoung05
and that means lots of blind Asians....
Well played sir.
Old Aug 10, 2010 | 03:41 PM
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"In Soviet Russia car drive you!"

There you go you KGB dodgey Russian! LOL

-G
Old Aug 10, 2010 | 03:54 PM
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What do you call a Russian with a car owned longer than 6 months with no wreck?

A: Not Yuri!

Mike
Old Aug 10, 2010 | 03:56 PM
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Originally Posted by GST Motorsports
What do you call a Russian with a car owned longer than 6 months with no wreck?

A: Not Yuri!

Mike
Old Aug 10, 2010 | 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted by GST Motorsports
What do you call a Russian with a car owned longer than 6 months with no wreck?

A: Not Yuri!

Mike
Oh snaps! So true though LOL

Q: What do you call a Russian that has a sit down dinner alone at Denny's then gets a complete dinner to go to eat at the hotel room?

A: Yuri...
Old Aug 10, 2010 | 04:14 PM
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now this is going back... way back during the cold war and the lack of basics...


one day, a french chick, an american chick and a russian chick were having lunch talking about the usual stuff.

the french chick suddenly starts up with sexual talk. she says that she buys 5 panties. one for each day during the week. during the weekend, she likes to go commando with her lover.

the american says she buys 7, for each day of the week...

then the russian chick says she buys 12... one for january... february... march...
Old Aug 10, 2010 | 04:29 PM
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Originally Posted by GST Motorsports
What do you call a Russian with a car owned longer than 6 months with no wreck?

A: Not Yuri!

Mike
I have owned the Lesbaru for longer than 6 months without wrecking it

Originally Posted by SubaruCrazy
Oh snaps! So true though LOL

Q: What do you call a Russian that has a sit down dinner alone at Denny's then gets a complete dinner to go to eat at the hotel room?

A: Yuri...
But of course! Because in Chernobyl Russian, food eats you!
Old Aug 10, 2010 | 05:08 PM
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Originally Posted by LxJLthr
I have owned the Lesbaru for longer than 6 months without wrecking it
!
Of course you have, you have finally found a vehicle befitting of your sexual preferences

Mike
Old Aug 10, 2010 | 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by GST Motorsports
Of course you have, you have finally found a vehicle befitting of your sexual preferences

Mike
You should not be talking! I am not the one driving a Miata with a body kit and Fast & Furious style carbon fiber hood at least people cannot see me behind the tinted windows
Old Aug 10, 2010 | 05:47 PM
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Originally Posted by LxJLthr
You should not be talking! I am not the one driving a Miata with a body kit and Fast & Furious style carbon fiber hood at least people cannot see me behind the tinted windows
I drive a truck?

Mike
Old Aug 10, 2010 | 07:10 PM
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What do you call a Russian at 9am...


Drunk
Old Aug 11, 2010 | 09:37 AM
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From: In Mother Russia...
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Originally Posted by GST Motorsports
I drive a truck?

Mike
I drive an Alltrac?



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