title speaks for it self hahah .. haha I was watching late night cartoons and this show came on ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=p...Chuck%20Norris

 

Yea, I've been watching that for a while. Haha. Adult Swim is airing a bunch of old school cartoons lately that air late at night/early morning, even Saved by the Bell at midnight (I can understand the retro thing, but it's not even a cartoon). Last time I saw the Mr. T cartoon and Gary Coleman.

 

how can anyone fight crime barefooted

 

Chuck Norris...

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never
cried.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not
because he is gay, but because he has run out of
women.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper
clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard
that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in
time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying
over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down
until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always
says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds
to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris only *********** to pictures of Chuck
Norris.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck
Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his
mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video
game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every
button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked
bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no
glitch."

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse
kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged
good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the
transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the
face and took his soul back. The devil, who
appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he
should have seen it coming. They now play poker every
second Wednesday of the month.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck
Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by
giving it a prolonged beard rub.
Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and
a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked
the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once
more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh
away.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood
a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck
wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE
PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat.
Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he
bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five
months later he realized the irony of this statement
and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile
radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in
time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot,
Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting
them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are
hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby
Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to
his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus'
obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence
to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after
all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer.
Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for
2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only
to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes.
Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met
Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he
gets the pleasure.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is
only another fist.

Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field
goal of a high school football game. When the football
went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick
the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck
roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the
uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the
stadium.

The original theme song to the Transformers was
actually "Chuck
Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot
in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas
Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing
Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was
far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it
was divided.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and
Order are trademarked names for his left and right
legs.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does
not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather
roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no
wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo
meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before
you.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a
fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck
Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates
never were very smart.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine
as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull


Chuck Norris does not get jokes, they come to him.