The 1 Paragraph Biography About Yourself Thread!

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Old Aug 10, 2009 | 03:22 AM
  #1  
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Thumbs up The 1 Paragraph Biography About Yourself Thread!

Rules: You will be allowed to write a biography about yourself, only in a single paragraph. Try to include as much as you can without busting a paragraph.


My name is Daniel, and although I'm 100% Dalmatian (Croatian Coast), I was born and raised in West Germany in a small town of about 10,000. I've always been really tall, so much so that when I was born the nurses took me from room to room showing other mothers how tall I was. English is my third spoken language and when I came to the USA the only things I could say were "Good boy" and "Thank you". As a youth I was heavily into soccer and music and was part of a rock band in the 5th grade where I was the singer and played the electric guitar. These days I enjoy mountain biking, fast import cars, skin diving/swimming, mixed martial arts, and soccer. I enjoy music and I probably couldn't live without it. My favorite genres of music are industrial metal, 80's music, and European Trance. I'm hoping to brush up on my singing skills and join a band within the next year or two since that's always been a dream of mine. I really bad problems sleeping and have had clinical insomnia since I was about 5. I've broken 11 bones in my body including breaking my arm in half 3 times. I'm not religious although I keep an open mind. I'm allergic to cucumbers and really hate bell peppers. I thing dogs are truly man's best friend, but I still like cats. I hope to have kids some day so I can train them into some of the worlds elite marksmen. I have well over a dozen firearms and really, REALLY enjoy everything there is to have about firearms. I have a lot of respect for the police although I sometimes have a problem with authority. I like working with my hands and hate being pinned down to a desk. The latest lesson in life I've learned in that no matter what you do and how hard you try, you will never be able to please everyone and have to accept the fact that others will try to bring you down no matter how good your intentions are. Also, smart women are my weakness, especially nerdy girls.


I wanted to write more but that's all I could fit into a paragraph without writing a novel.

You = next, and be honest!
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 09:06 AM
  #2  
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I was born in Bowie, Arizona to a Navajo father and a mother of Italian descent. I graduated from Rangeford High School, and then was drafted into the United States Army at the age of 17, after which I was deployed to South Vietnam. I returned to the U.S. in 1967 and began training in the Special Forces at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. In late 1969, I was deployed back to Vietnam. In November 1971, I was captured by North Vietnamese forces near the Chinese-Vietnamese border and held at a prisoner of war camp, where I and other American POWs were repeatedly tortured. I escaped captivity in May 1972, but was then re-deployed. Upon my return to the U.S., I discovered that many American civilians hated the returning soldiers, and I was subject to humiliation and embarrassment by having anti-war hippies throw garbage at me and calling me "baby killer". My experiences in Vietnam and back home resulted in an extreme case of post-traumatic stress disorder. At the same time, inner questions of self identity and reflectiveness cause me to lash out at society rather than handling difficult situations in a "civilized" manner. In December 1982, I travel to the town of Hope, Washington, in search of an army buddy of mine named Delmore Barry from the Special Forces, only to find upon arrival to Delmore's residence a little girl who is his daughter and Delmore's depressed widow who tells me that her husband had died from cancer the previous summer due to exposure to Agent Orange, and she must seek out a living as a cleaning lady and on Delmore's Servicemember's Group Life Insurance. Me, attempting some cold comfort, gives Mrs. Barry the photograph of Delmore's unit. I am left with a mild sense of survivor's guilt as I am now the last man still living of my once-proud unit. I then travel to Hope in the attempt to find a diner and maybe a temporary job. However, the over-confident town sheriff, Will Teasle, does not welcome me, judging me negatively because of my long hair and scruffy look. I disobey the sheriff's order to stay away from Hope, as I have done nothing wrong to the community and I believe such banishment to be a violation of my freedom of movement, and I am promptly charged for vagrancy and subject to harassment from the deputies.

Last edited by saqwarrior; Aug 10, 2009 at 09:11 AM.
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 09:09 AM
  #3  
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Originally Posted by saqwarrior
I was born in Bowie, Arizona to a Navajo father and a mother of Italian descent. I graduated from Rangeford High School, and then was drafted into the United States Army at the age of 17, after which I was deployed to South Vietnam. I returned to the U.S. in 1967 and began training in the Special Forces at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. In late 1969, I was deployed back to Vietnam. In November 1971, I was captured by North Vietnamese forces near the Chinese-Vietnamese border and held at a prisoner of war camp, where I and other American POWs were repeatedly tortured. I escaped captivity in May 1972, but was then re-deployed. Upon his return to the U.S., I discovered that many American civilians hated the returning soldiers, and I was subject to humiliation and embarrassment by having anti-war hippies throw garbage at me and calling me "baby killer". My experiences in Vietnam and back home resulted in an extreme case of post-traumatic stress disorder. At the same time, inner questions of self identity and reflectiveness cause me to lash out at society rather than handling difficult situations in a "civilized" manner. In December 1982, I travel to the town of Hope, Washington, in search of an army buddy of mine named Delmore Barry from the Special Forces, only to find upon arrival to Delmore's residence a little girl who is his daughter and Delmore's depressed widow who tells me that her husband had died from cancer the previous summer due to exposure to Agent Orange, and she must seek out a living as a cleaning lady and on Delmore's Servicemember's Group Life Insurance. Me, attempting some cold comfort, gives Mrs. Barry the photograph of Delmore's unit. I am left with a mild sense of survivor's guilt as I am now the last man still living of my once-proud unit. I then travel to Hope in the attempt to find a diner and maybe a temporary job. However, the over-confident town sheriff, Will Teasle, does not welcome me, judging me negatively because of my long hair and scruffy look. I disobey the sheriff's order to stay away from Hope, as I have done nothing wrong to the community and I believe such banishment to be a violation of my freedom of movement, and I am promptly charged for vagrancy and subject to harassment from the deputies. The harassment triggers flashbacks of my traumatic memories of torture at the hands of the North Vietnamese when I was a prisoner of war, and my mind regresses into thinking I am once again fighting in combat. I fight his way out of the sheriff's department with my bare hands and makes my way into the wilderness via a stolen motorcycle. A manhunt ensues. The sheriff and his deputies cannot win against me in the forest, and indeed, all are badly wounded as a result of trying to capture me. I deal with them efficiently and although capable of doing so, I don't kill any of them. However, I unintentionally kill a police officer in self-defence by throwing a rock at a helicopter, causing the pilot to lose control and an officer to fall out. The Washington State Patrol and about 200 members of the Washington National Guard are called in to assist.
Ok, Rambo.
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 09:10 AM
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hahaha
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 09:14 AM
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Originally Posted by saqwarrior
I was born in Bowie, Arizona to a Navajo father and a mother of Italian descent. I graduated from Rangeford High School, and then was drafted into the United States Army at the age of 17, after which I was deployed to South Vietnam. I returned to the U.S. in 1967 and began training in the Special Forces at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. In late 1969, I was deployed back to Vietnam. In November 1971, I was captured by North Vietnamese forces near the Chinese-Vietnamese border and held at a prisoner of war camp, where I and other American POWs were repeatedly tortured. I escaped captivity in May 1972, but was then re-deployed. Upon my return to the U.S., I discovered that many American civilians hated the returning soldiers, and I was subject to humiliation and embarrassment by having anti-war hippies throw garbage at me and calling me "baby killer". My experiences in Vietnam and back home resulted in an extreme case of post-traumatic stress disorder. At the same time, inner questions of self identity and reflectiveness cause me to lash out at society rather than handling difficult situations in a "civilized" manner. In December 1982, I travel to the town of Hope, Washington, in search of an army buddy of mine named Delmore Barry from the Special Forces, only to find upon arrival to Delmore's residence a little girl who is his daughter and Delmore's depressed widow who tells me that her husband had died from cancer the previous summer due to exposure to Agent Orange, and she must seek out a living as a cleaning lady and on Delmore's Servicemember's Group Life Insurance. Me, attempting some cold comfort, gives Mrs. Barry the photograph of Delmore's unit. I am left with a mild sense of survivor's guilt as I am now the last man still living of my once-proud unit. I then travel to Hope in the attempt to find a diner and maybe a temporary job. However, the over-confident town sheriff, Will Teasle, does not welcome me, judging me negatively because of my long hair and scruffy look. I disobey the sheriff's order to stay away from Hope, as I have done nothing wrong to the community and I believe such banishment to be a violation of my freedom of movement, and I am promptly charged for vagrancy and subject to harassment from the deputies.
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 09:21 AM
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The world became a better place in 1978. Before the Rhodesia became Zimbabwe and Egypt and Israel came together at Camp David, the man who would be come Adam was born. Born to small fanfare, Adam went on to develop into a fine young man in West Philadelphia. He went on to spend most of his days on the playground, sitting around, maxing, relaxing all cool and shooting some b-ball outside the school, when a couple of guys, who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, she said "youre moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Aire". I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything, I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "nah, forget. YO HOLMES, TO BEL AIRE!"
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 10:22 AM
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how did i know that i would only be able to take the first post seriously
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 10:38 AM
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This is ramping up to be the best thread ever.
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 10:43 AM
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Originally Posted by saqwarrior
I was born in Bowie, Arizona to a Navajo father and a mother of Italian descent. I graduated from Rangeford High School, and then was drafted into the United States Army at the age of 17, after which I was deployed to South Vietnam. I returned to the U.S. in 1967 and began training in the Special Forces at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. In late 1969, I was deployed back to Vietnam. In November 1971, I was captured by North Vietnamese forces near the Chinese-Vietnamese border and held at a prisoner of war camp, where I and other American POWs were repeatedly tortured. I escaped captivity in May 1972, but was then re-deployed. Upon my return to the U.S., I discovered that many American civilians hated the returning soldiers, and I was subject to humiliation and embarrassment by having anti-war hippies throw garbage at me and calling me "baby killer". My experiences in Vietnam and back home resulted in an extreme case of post-traumatic stress disorder. At the same time, inner questions of self identity and reflectiveness cause me to lash out at society rather than handling difficult situations in a "civilized" manner. In December 1982, I travel to the town of Hope, Washington, in search of an army buddy of mine named Delmore Barry from the Special Forces, only to find upon arrival to Delmore's residence a little girl who is his daughter and Delmore's depressed widow who tells me that her husband had died from cancer the previous summer due to exposure to Agent Orange, and she must seek out a living as a cleaning lady and on Delmore's Servicemember's Group Life Insurance. Me, attempting some cold comfort, gives Mrs. Barry the photograph of Delmore's unit. I am left with a mild sense of survivor's guilt as I am now the last man still living of my once-proud unit. I then travel to Hope in the attempt to find a diner and maybe a temporary job. However, the over-confident town sheriff, Will Teasle, does not welcome me, judging me negatively because of my long hair and scruffy look. I disobey the sheriff's order to stay away from Hope, as I have done nothing wrong to the community and I believe such banishment to be a violation of my freedom of movement, and I am promptly charged for vagrancy and subject to harassment from the deputies.
I LOL'd.
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 11:27 AM
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The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my *********. There really is nothing like a shorn *******... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 11:30 AM
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haha dude, I've always loved the line about "meat helmets" hahahaha
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 11:56 AM
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First I made heaven & earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and my spirit was moving over the face of the waters. And so I said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. And I saw that the light was good; and so I separated the light from the darkness. I called the light Day, and the darkness I called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day. And I said, "Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters." And God made the firmament and separated the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament. And it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And there was evening and there was morning, a second day. And when I said, "Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear." And it was so. I called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. I saw that it was all good so I sparked a blunt and celebrated.
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 12:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Unit 91
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my *********. There really is nothing like a shorn *******... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Dr. Evil!
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 01:34 PM
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In 1972 my crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime we didn't commit. We promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, we survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find us, maybe you can hire the A-Team.
Old Aug 10, 2009 | 01:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Lowend
In 1972 my crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime we didn't commit. We promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, we survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find us, maybe you can hire the A-Team.
Dibs on being "Face"!



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